I almost lost my 4 y.o. Today

[infomommax]

@tehsaplings I wandered off with my aunt uncle and two cousins when I was probably 6-7. Not on purpose, I just forgot to watch where they were going (my adult ADHD diagnosis surprises me less every day lol).

Strangers saw me alone, and helped me find them!

 

[judyperalta]

@tehsaplings Right. I heard it's more like teaching kids about "strange behavior " now, esp as when it comes to molesting, it's more likely someone you know. So like, if someone is telling the kids not to tell mommy and daddy about something is "strange behavior"

 

[gaga]

@hisvictor Stories about Road Monsters...

 

[cocgem]

@hisvictor Don't know how open you are about screen time, or allowing youtube stuff, but there are lots and lots of videos about safety with streets, and the importance of all that sort of stuff. Those videos are a big part of why he doesn't fight doctors or hairdressers anymore.

Edit: clarification (He = my son.)

 

[mollypolly83]

@hisvictor Locks on the doors, up high where they can’t reach might help. We had to do that with my son when he became a runner. You can also get door chimes that make noise anytime they are opened so you’ll know right away if he takes off.

 

[9ikanews]

@mollypolly83 Yes we had a close call and installed some glide locks for the tops of the doors that lead to outside. Haven’t had any issues since.

 

[reallayman01]

@hisvictor There is an insole you can get that are specifically designed to hide AirTags.

ETA: you could probably fit an AirTag in the tongue of his shoe.

 

[emira86]

@reallayman01 Please be aware: AirTags only work if there is an iPhone nearby to auto-sync. If he gets lost in a busy city, an AirTag will work well enough due to plenty of iPhones in reach. If he gets lost in a forest, it will be almost useless. The last location will be where he "met" the last iPhone.

 

[aprtntsist1]

@emira86 Adding to say if your kid has multiple pairs of shoes or (like my kid) prefers being barefoot 90% of waking hours, an air tag in a shoe won’t help much.

 

[sarahdosher]

@hisvictor That's so scary!

I would recommend searching for tracking devices for kids with autism. (I am not saying I think your kid has autism. I just think that enough families of kids with autism would need some kind of tracker that it would probably be good search terms to find what you are looking for.) You might also try for kids who elope, wander, or abscond. No advice on specific products - just key words to google.

Second, you need to look further into the behavior. If there is a diagnosis (or a history of trauma) causing the behavior, it can get worse as they get older if they don't get treatment. You may need a different parenting toolset than what works for a typical kid. If you haven't already, I'd start with your pediatrician and be very specific about the behaviors. This is not a quick answer - I think the tracking device is needed.

Additionally, there could be other measures to help secure him. For example, if he runs when you leave, wait outside out of view for 10-15 minutes in case he runs. Of if you have cameras, watch. Add alarms and latches to doors. He'll figure them out, but they may slow him down. Obviously patch the hole in the fence.

Additionally, if you can figure out triggers (you leaving) have alternatives to help. If he likes to hide, a small play tent with a bunch of sensory toys and favorite things inside, might be a good option. If he wants to run, swinging or crashing into something might help. It might help if Grandma has something special and fun or tasty to distract him immediately when you leave, until she settles in.

Best of luck. That is so scary. I'm glad he is okay and it sounds like you are doing a great job trying to figure it out.

 

[opoku]

@sarahdosher Please seek out a mental health professional for children. This issue is not an issue for a pediatrician.

 

[sarahdosher]

@opoku I agree, but where I am you often need a referral from a pediatrician to access a lot of mental health services. I started to type a longer thing of what I'd hope the pediatrician would do and then needed to move on, so hoped someone else would specify or they have a good pediatrician.

 

[drlindatravelute]

@hisvictor Costco sells four packs of AirTags for $99.

 

[swallowedinthesea11]

@drlindatravelute That is too high of a price, they can be found regularly in 4 packs for $89 these days. The full price right at the Apple store is $99.

Edit: they are actually $89 at costco and Amazon.

 

[myfaithbuilder]

@swallowedinthesea11 She said cost doesn't matter.

 

[librarian]

@hisvictor There are a lot of great ideas here, but I would also practice what to do if he does get separated or lost again. When I was a nanny I told my kids if they ever couldn’t find me to find an adult woman and tell her they were lost and need help. We would then practice with me pretending to be a stranger. Not a week after our first practice one of my boys wandered off at a busy park and did just what we practiced and the mom was able to find me asap. I’d also practice your phone number with him. Hopefully he never wanders off again, but you need to give him the information to find you just in case he does.

 

[mem5]

@librarian

When I was a nanny I told my kids …

God, I hope that family paid you in f’n gold. I mean, I know that’s the job, but damn, you were good at it.

 

[nhacaiuytin123123]

@hisvictor I'm sorry this happened but this is extreme behavior. Get Air Tags as a short term protection but you need to seek professional help.

 

[benferr2136]

@nhacaiuytin123123 This is the answer. Family therapy time

 

[dean91]

@hisvictor Lots of people are recommending an AirTag so I just want to add that those may not be the best idea unless you live in a densely populated area. The way an AirTag displays location is by sending a Bluetooth signal that pings off of nearby apple devices - and it only works within a range of about 30 feet. So if your child runs off into a forest, large park, or any other area where there isn’t an iPhone nearby then the AirTag will only be able to display their last location that was near an apple device.

A GPS tracker is going to be a better option if you don’t want to have to worry about going out of range.