4_his_glory
New member
@hisvictor I would suggest checking out angel sense.
@4_his_glory My 5 year old isn't really a runner, but he did recently walk himself home from school (which isn't a huge deal we live in a hamlet, and the school is literally a 2 minute walk) buuuuuut I still may consider this one! I really liked that you could communicate with them through it!
peggyleggy
New member
@hisvictor Does he always wear shoes? I would put alarms on all doors and cameras. US Insurance might cover a wagon if he elopes regularly.
I don’t know if running away is normal for a 4 year old. Transitions are hard. Get him evaluated and look into different parenting coaching. His behavior might be fixed with changing of your boundary lines.
I don’t know if running away is normal for a 4 year old. Transitions are hard. Get him evaluated and look into different parenting coaching. His behavior might be fixed with changing of your boundary lines.
tenderwarrior2
New member
@hisvictor Angel Sense is a combo Apple watch/ ankle monitor. Can’t remove it unless you have a special tool. Looks like a watch.
@hisvictor I’d definitely fix that “hole” in the fence too and close off / board up whatever area or potential areas he could escape from
@hisvictor The tracking will help you find the kid but you need to work on prevention. The danger is when he’s gone you can’t protect him. Read books/audiobooks on behavior and have strict rules for child carers. This isn’t a problem technology can solve.
christiandad
New member
@hisvictor Air tag
tonya22673
New member
@christiandad Yep this is what my friend does.
hugebrain2k9
New member
@hisvictor I’m totally baffled by people saying this calls for family therapy and/or medication. I mean, am I missing something? This was the first time he did this, right?
It’s so so scary, I totally get it - my 3-year-old kid did something similar once. He didn’t cross a street but he went through a gate we didn’t know he could open and stood next to a busy road. Three adults standing right there, in a fenced yard, but he was so fast. We were terrified; he was distraught that we were terrified; he has never done it again.
Five minutes must have felt like an eternity. I’m so sorry this happened. And I understand you’re feeling frustrated because of other experiences you’ve had with him that you didn’t share here. But this one, in and of itself - it doesn’t sound that unusual to me that a kid would sneak through a hole in a fence and run away once, just because they’re bored or curious or think it’s a fun game of hide and seek.
It’s so so scary, I totally get it - my 3-year-old kid did something similar once. He didn’t cross a street but he went through a gate we didn’t know he could open and stood next to a busy road. Three adults standing right there, in a fenced yard, but he was so fast. We were terrified; he was distraught that we were terrified; he has never done it again.
Five minutes must have felt like an eternity. I’m so sorry this happened. And I understand you’re feeling frustrated because of other experiences you’ve had with him that you didn’t share here. But this one, in and of itself - it doesn’t sound that unusual to me that a kid would sneak through a hole in a fence and run away once, just because they’re bored or curious or think it’s a fun game of hide and seek.
@hugebrain2k9 Appreciate that. Logical.
hugebrain2k9
New member
(I’m not saying it’s an OK situation, given how dangerous cars are - you gotta fix the fence, or supervise more closely, or otherwise keep him safe. I’m just saying it doesn’t seem like a red flag that theres anything wrong with the kid!)
on_the_shoulders_of_jesus
New member
@hugebrain2k9 I think it’s more concerning that OP describes their 2 and 4 year old as exceptionally difficult. It also sounds like they’ve tried different parenting strategies, but the behavior is escalating to a point where they don’t feel like they can leave the kids with anyone else. Seems like something is going on and a professional might really help them.
@hisvictor People are very opposed to medicating kids. Some kids need to be medicated in order to get to a state where they are able to be receptive to the non-medication therapies. My son has had a LOT of "defiance" issues and we're at about a year of figuring out what works for him with everything. I'd start with either an occupational therapist (go through your public school system to see if they can offer him any support that way) or a psychiatrist who will work on getting a diagnosis and talking about behavior management strategies with him.
@chriver There's no way that medication would be a first line option for any 4yo, but yes it absolutely can be an option and in some cases it's warranted.
Once a child has been assessed, parent training to check that the parenting tools are effective and environmental safeguards are still not doing the job, medicated is better than dead. Some kids really have a very big mismatch between their ability and determination to explore vs their sense of self-preservation.
There is also some emerging evidence that shows for ADHD in particular, the earlier you medicate the more the "correct" brain pathways are strengthened meaning that the person can end up less dependent on medication in adulthood. People often have this fear or anxiety about medicating kids and assume that it's best to wait as long as possible, but what happens in these cases is that the pathways to the impulsive behaviours and extreme emotional reactions get strengthened as well as various unhealthy coping strategies, which might not become apparent until adulthood. There are a lot of ADHD adults relying on negative self-talk just to get through the essential tasks of the day and that ends up incredibly damaging.
Once a child has been assessed, parent training to check that the parenting tools are effective and environmental safeguards are still not doing the job, medicated is better than dead. Some kids really have a very big mismatch between their ability and determination to explore vs their sense of self-preservation.
There is also some emerging evidence that shows for ADHD in particular, the earlier you medicate the more the "correct" brain pathways are strengthened meaning that the person can end up less dependent on medication in adulthood. People often have this fear or anxiety about medicating kids and assume that it's best to wait as long as possible, but what happens in these cases is that the pathways to the impulsive behaviours and extreme emotional reactions get strengthened as well as various unhealthy coping strategies, which might not become apparent until adulthood. There are a lot of ADHD adults relying on negative self-talk just to get through the essential tasks of the day and that ends up incredibly damaging.
@chriver Yeah I totally agree with you. It's so unnecessarily stigmatised, most people who speak out against medication have absolutely no idea what they are talking about and no experience of ADHD.
Wild that someone with ADHD themselves would speak out against it IMO. But who knows what their experience/reasoning was. Mostly IME people who are anti-medication have swallowed a load of bullshit about how ADHD is made up or medication turns you into a zombie.
Wild that someone with ADHD themselves would speak out against it IMO. But who knows what their experience/reasoning was. Mostly IME people who are anti-medication have swallowed a load of bullshit about how ADHD is made up or medication turns you into a zombie.
@cutin As someone who took Ritalin/Adderall/ whatever else they tried in the 90's from 7 yo until I was grown enough to decide for myself... I didn't like taking the medication, I felt like it really muted my personal and yes made me a "zombie". Idk if they have different meds now, but Adderall is strong shit to give to children 
@crescenta I feel like I've had this convo on here before. I don't know if you are the same person or if it was common to give high doses to kids and additionally not listen to the feedback from the kids themselves 30 years ago (not unlikely, I guess) but it is not the experience I have had of being medicated as an adult.
The only thing I do know is that in the 90s the slower release forms of methylphenidate (Ritalin etc) were not available so you'd get what I heard described as a "rollercoaster effect" all day. For sure the stimulant wearing off feeling is zombie-like and unpleasant.
Adderall is not legal in my country, so can't say anything about it.
The only thing I do know is that in the 90s the slower release forms of methylphenidate (Ritalin etc) were not available so you'd get what I heard described as a "rollercoaster effect" all day. For sure the stimulant wearing off feeling is zombie-like and unpleasant.
Adderall is not legal in my country, so can't say anything about it.