I’m exhausted and it’s my 6 month olds fault

[seekinganswersinlife]

@chesed28 Kindly, this is not your baby’s fault. He has not been given the opportunity to fall asleep independently if he’s in your room, you’re constantly intervening, and then you assist him to sleep.

Move him to his own room. It is very difficult for “older” babies to self-settle in the same room as their parents.

Less intervention. Get out of his way.

Post your full sleep schedule for troubleshooting.

https://www.npr.org/sections/health...in-their-own-rooms-after-4-months-study-finds

 

[jamierite74]

@seekinganswersinlife Not everyone has this luxury.

 

[seekinganswersinlife]

@jamierite74 Slumberpod, room divider, hanging a sheet, etc could be an option if space is tight.

 

[chesed28]

@seekinganswersinlife I’m a bit confused….he can fall asleep independently though. Put him down for a nap and then he will sleep…put him down at 7pm for bedtime and he will fall asleep. We were wanting to keep him in our room because the AAP recommends keeping baby in room until 6-12 months of age to decrease risk of SIDS.

 

[becky411]

@chesed28 Once I moved our baby out of our room AND sleep trained, it significantly changed my babies sleep. All of my friends told me it would too, so I’m going to tell you the same thing

As long as you are being safe about baby in their own room, your risk of SIDS is low. Get an owlet dream sock or some other device that might make give you peace of mind. Watch them on the camera for a few nights all night if it also give you peace of mind (I did that too until I was like, okay, he’s perfectly fine). Once you do that, you’ll see better sleep. You may find wake ups out of habit, but give your baby the opportunity to go back to sleep on their own.

Respectfully, and I mean this from a place of care, you are preventing your baby from getting a good nights sleep. But that’s okay, it is hard to watch our babies struggle to learn, but they are struggling not suffering. You got this mama!

 

[chesed28]

@becky411 My husband and I are gonna move his crib today after another bad night. Thank you

 

[becky411]

@chesed28 Yay! You got this! One thing I had to remind myself when my son woke up (in the early stages of sleep training) was that he JUST put himself to sleep in the beginning of the night, he can TOTALLY do it again. And he did! I think he only did that for one night or two and then never did it again (unless it was clear he needed a schedule shift, and he still put himself back to sleep then too).

One side note, I had to stop doing check ins cause it made my son even madder and I found dragged things out longer than they needed to. You know your baby best, if it seems like that is the case too you may want to leave them to figure it out but you are there watching (on camera) to make sure they are safe.

Let your baby surprise you I’m rooting for you guys!

 

[chesed28]

@becky411 Thank you! And thank you for being nice!

 

[seekinganswersinlife]

@chesed28 Is he falling asleep from wide awake, no pacifier, last feed ending 30 min prior, without you in the room? Zero assistance?

Even if so, its clear he can not self-settle in the same room as you. He can tell youre there and it's confusing. You asked "how do I stop the night wakings" and the answer is give him his own space and get out of the way.

Per the link above, the AAP has also published research that found that after 4 months, room sharing results in less nighttime sleep and more night wakings for infants. The study also found that after 4 months, room sharing resulted in an increase in unsafe sleep practices, which are behaviors known to cause SIDS. The link from @octavio is a very good summary as well.

If you want to keep him in your room, I would expect the nightwakes to continue. If you're following all the other safe sleep recommendations, perhaps the benefits of a well rested parent and child outweigh the room sharing.

 

[octavio]

@chesed28

1. You may need to switch to full CIO or just stay strong with not intervening beyond check-ins. Unfortunately if baby knows you’ll eventually intervene, they learn to keep crying until you do.
2. You mention he is in your room. Totally your preference to keep him there and you have to do what you are comfortable with. That said, sleep training is definitely easiest if he is in his own room. For parents who want or have to share a room but also sleep train, it is recommended you sleep elsewhere (like on the sofa or in a guest room) for the 2 weeks of training and then return to your room. It is much easier when baby can’t see/hear/smell you.

One other comment on room sharing—and this is ONLY to provide another perspective, NOT to pressure you. But I found this article extremely helpful when considering when (and why) to move my daughter to her own room earlier than the 1 year mark I was originally told to do.

https://takingcarababies.com/room-sharing-when-to-move-your-baby-to-their-own-room

 

[chesed28]

@octavio Thank you for your comment! My husband and I definitely have lots to think about!

 

[muddsaw]

@chesed28 Could you post the full schedule? It could be a schedule issue. Do the check in make it better or worse? Is baby taking a full on feeding that may indicate true hunger?

 

[chesed28]

@muddsaw Could be the issue, he is so unpredictable with his wakings and his naps that his schedule isn’t consistent. Like yesterday his morning nap was 30minutes but the day before that it was 90 minutes?
When I do the checkins I usually only just pop in to put pacu in and he doesn’t really realize I’m there.
And he takes about 1/2-3/4 of full feed.

 

[briank7]

@chesed28 Hiya! Fellow 6mo old mum here.

I'd post your schedule as it may be contributing. My babe is also on 3 naps but sleeps 11 hours with 1 or 0 feeds. Not sleep trained but I have to guard her schedules with all my life to allow for this to happen!

 

[teddscau]

@chesed28 We were in the same boat recently. For us the culprit was three naps. We dropped to two and re sleep trained (there will be crying) and it seems to have helped a lot.

 

[chesed28]

@teddscau He just doesn’t seem like he’s ready for 2 naps…he gets way too tired if he’s up too long.

 

[teddscau]

@chesed28 Honestly we felt the same exact way. But once she went down to two naps the past week, she started sleeping in longer stretches and her naps followed suit.

 

[chesed28]

@teddscau Maybe I’ll try it!

 

[trevayne]

@chesed28 What’s your current schedule?

 

[chesed28]

@trevayne Could be the issue, he is so unpredictable with his wakings and his naps that his schedule isn’t consistent. Like yesterday his morning nap was 30minutes but the day before that it was 90 minutes?