This is the 4th week of gentle Ferber method. My baby will put himself to sleep at nap time and at the start of night, which is great and I’m proud of him for. Yet He goes to sleep at 7pm and will wake up at 10pm, 1/2am, 3/4am, 5/6am every night and cannot put himself back to sleep, no matter how long I push the check-ins. I don’t let him hysterically cry, I intervene if that happens, is that why? Last night he went over an hour fussing/crying in crib before I caved and just fed him. He has to eat and then will go back into crib, fuss for a bit then go to sleep. He is EBF, getting enough calories during the day. He takes 3 naps a day and is not ready to drop to 2. How do I stop the night wakings? Or at a minimum the 10pm waking? We started sleep training because he went from sleeping 7-6 to waking multiple times a night and fighting his naps. And I know that isn’t not his fault, but I get so frustrated with him when he wakes up and won’t go back to sleep! And I beat myself for feeling this way. Please help!
I’m exhausted and it’s my 6 month olds fault
- Thread starter chesed28
- Start date
c2coldsteel06
New member
@chesed28 We had this issue creep up before as well. What ended up being the issue was his wake windows weren't working anymore for his age. I adjusted his wake windows and made the last wake window longer, which pushed his bedtime back slightly, but he's been doing amazing since! Minus this past week, he is sick 
@c2coldsteel06 He already is usually awake for 3 hours by the time bedtime roles around! Sorry your LO is sick!
c2coldsteel06
New member
@c2coldsteel06 He gets maybe 2 hours. 3 on a good day.
c2coldsteel06
New member
@chesed28 That seems really good! What are his wake windows for the rest of the day?
Also, don't beat yourself up for being frustrated when he wakes up. Sleep deprivation is real, and it is hard! I still get upset and anxious when a nap or bedtime doesn't go to plan. It's like, I'm doing everything right and it isn't working. It's been a hard year! And trying to work and do this seems impossible. You are not alone, I promise. My LO turns 11 months this week, and I can say that while some days are hard still, it gets easier. I hated when people told me that, but it does!
Also, don't beat yourself up for being frustrated when he wakes up. Sleep deprivation is real, and it is hard! I still get upset and anxious when a nap or bedtime doesn't go to plan. It's like, I'm doing everything right and it isn't working. It's been a hard year! And trying to work and do this seems impossible. You are not alone, I promise. My LO turns 11 months this week, and I can say that while some days are hard still, it gets easier. I hated when people told me that, but it does!
@c2coldsteel06 Just looked at my app, wake windows on average over past 2 weeks have been 2-2.5 hours.
I do get anxious.
Thank you for being nice about this, feel like some other comments are a bit judgmental.
I do get anxious.
Thank you for being nice about this, feel like some other comments are a bit judgmental.c2coldsteel06
New member
@chesed28 2-2.5 is perfect! You're doing everything right! If his wake windows look good and he's getting enough daytime calories, you are doing right by him! Is there any chance he's teething? Our LO just got his first two teeth, but he was teething for months! We offered mortin as needed, no sense in letting him suffer. We knew he was in pain because he would wail like I had never heard. Also, sometimes growth spurts will cause them to wake and want to eat no matter how much they eat during the day. We just rolled with it. It passed. Even Ferber said you may have to take a break with sleep training if it doesn't seem to be working and revisit later.
No need to thank me! I've been exactly where you are. We are all just trying to get through this the best we can. You're doing amazing
No need to thank me! I've been exactly where you are. We are all just trying to get through this the best we can. You're doing amazing
@c2coldsteel06 Thank you so much! He could be teething!
c2coldsteel06
New member
@chesed28 Hang in there, Mama! You know your baby best. Do what works for your family. CIO didn't work for us or our LO either. He will get there. Something is clearly bothering him.
I would suggest, when he wakes up in the middle of the night, wait about five minutes. Go to the bathroom, take a sip of water, and see how he's doing. My LO wakes us up at night, and by the time I go to the bathroom and come back to check the monitor, he ends up falling back to sleep. I was intervining too soon. Also, we did try going in and rubbing his back in his crib. Ferber said your job isn't to get them to stop crying, but to comfort them and let them know you're there. We leave, he may cry a bit more, we follow the time recommendations in his book and do the same thing, and if he doesn't settle after a few attempts, then we rock him back to sleep. We have noticed, though, that if we rock him to sleep, he will wake up again at some point throughout the night and need our help again, so getting him to fall asleep in his crib is key.
I would suggest, when he wakes up in the middle of the night, wait about five minutes. Go to the bathroom, take a sip of water, and see how he's doing. My LO wakes us up at night, and by the time I go to the bathroom and come back to check the monitor, he ends up falling back to sleep. I was intervining too soon. Also, we did try going in and rubbing his back in his crib. Ferber said your job isn't to get them to stop crying, but to comfort them and let them know you're there. We leave, he may cry a bit more, we follow the time recommendations in his book and do the same thing, and if he doesn't settle after a few attempts, then we rock him back to sleep. We have noticed, though, that if we rock him to sleep, he will wake up again at some point throughout the night and need our help again, so getting him to fall asleep in his crib is key.
@chesed28 My LO is 6mo and she had had the same issue too! Maybe for about a month. We couldn’t figure out what was wrong.
Then we noticed that her room was not as warm as our bedroom. So we actually got a space heater ( anti-overheating) and also added another layer of onesie at night. And then, she is sleeping much better now!
I don’t know if this is just a coincidence. But maybe you could reevaluate her environment.
Then we noticed that her room was not as warm as our bedroom. So we actually got a space heater ( anti-overheating) and also added another layer of onesie at night. And then, she is sleeping much better now!
I don’t know if this is just a coincidence. But maybe you could reevaluate her environment.
crystagail
New member
@kitchb I second this on temperature. My 6 month old has been on a rough schedule as well, and we bumped the thermostat up based on other comments. She dropped two wake ups as a result. That was a few days ago, and so far it's holding. She can't go all night without eating though, we still have to do 1-2 night feeds, but at least they're short and sweet and fuss free.
robertbrowny
New member
@kitchb For about 3-4 days my 6 month old was just NOT sleeping, slept great in the living room (in his play pen) though. I tried a humidifier, nothing, I brought the temp down, up. Then yesterday I deep cleaned his room, like sanitized the rails of the changing table, cleaned the windows all of it, and last night he only woke up twice so we’re slowly getting back to sleeping through the night. I’m not sure if it’s just a coincidence or not though 
@robertbrowny Oooh that’s interesting. We never know what’s bothering the LOs!
@kitchb Yeah just going to link my comment about baby temperature and sleep from another thread. My experience, anyway.
https://www.reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/s/byPlnqHdn3
https://www.reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/s/byPlnqHdn3
@chesed28 I also have a 6mo and her sleep at night was interrupted multiple times at about the same times too. At 5 mo we finally decided to sleep train using CIO (as we had done with our first). The big change we also did was to move out of our own bedroom so as to leave baby alone. We had tried fuss it out on and off when she reached 4 mo but that had been ineffective. In retrospect, I think that being in the same room was a big impediment. All in all, it took 3 nights for baby to start sleeping through the night and we are so glad we finally did it!
@ana1234 My 5 month old has been doing this same thing for a few weeks now and we are exhausted. After moving her to her own room, how did you handle night wakes? did she just stop waking as much?
Right now, the only thing that gets my baby back to sleep is nursing, even though I know he’s not actually hungry. And when I pull him off the boob to go back in his crib, he’ll wake up and cry to continue nursing. Sometimes it’ll take an hour to get him back to bed. We’ve been doing this 5-6 times each night. I’m so tired!
Right now, the only thing that gets my baby back to sleep is nursing, even though I know he’s not actually hungry. And when I pull him off the boob to go back in his crib, he’ll wake up and cry to continue nursing. Sometimes it’ll take an hour to get him back to bed. We’ve been doing this 5-6 times each night. I’m so tired!
@skipster We decided to CIO. She used to wake up to 5 times between 10pm and 5am so we were at the end of our rope. After making sure with our pediatrician that she did not need to eat throughout the night anymore, we just went for it. The first night she cried for up to 30 minutes 3 times throughout the night and woke up around 4 and I nursed her. The second night, we had maybe one wake up and she settled really quickly. The third night, we decided to also let her cry if she woke up before 5 am. She did around 4am and cried for less than 20 minutes and went back to sleep. Since then, she goes down around 7:30pm and wakes up anywhere between 5 and 5:30am which we are ok with. I nurse her and she sometimes goes back to sleep. The downside of sleep training has been that my supply has tanked but I was prepared for that and we upped her formula intake.
@ana1234 That’s helpful information! I think we are going to end up doing CIO as well. We’re just waiting until we move to our new house next week, because baby will be in his own room. He just escalates so quickly and cries so hard that I’m afraid he won’t be able to settle back down on his own. But nothing else has worked, so I think that’s where we’re headed!