I’m conflicted about Mother’s Day…

[snyder502]

My niece and nephew were born 3 weeks apart in May. Because their birthdays are so close they always have a joint party. The problem is that this year their parents have chosen Mother’s Day as the day of their party. I’m conflicted because I feel obligated to attend their party and help with the setup like I normally do, but it’s also my first Mother’s Day where I’m an actual mom. I’m frustrated that they chose this date, and I feel guilty because I don’t want to go to their party. This would be the first birthday that I miss, but I really just want to spend time with my husband and my baby. I don’t want to sacrifice my first Mother’s Day and I’m angry that they’ve put me in the position where I need to choose. I’m also angry that if I do skip the party that I now need to explain to a 3 and 4 year old why I didn’t show up.

Would I be a terrible person if I don’t go to their party? How would you all handle this?

 

[ezzeking]

@snyder502 I personally probably would not go. It’s honestly pretty rude for them to do this on Mother’s Day.

 

[russ98]

@ezzeking Who's having a birthday on a sunday?!

 

[christmaslaneusa]

@snyder502 If it were me I would have the Mother’s Day I want and drop in to their party for like an hour either before or after my Mother’s Day. Drop off gifts, give hugs, wish happy birthday and leave. I would actually be surprised if not that many people came because Mother’s Day is the busiest holiday for restaurants.

 

[thedani%C3%ABl]

@christmaslaneusa This is a really reasonable compromise.

 

[christianwomanljc]

@christmaslaneusa That’s what I would too.

 

[prayerwarriorjd]

@snyder502 Do what feels best for you. A three and four-your old will be excited to have a party period and your absence may not be that worrisome to them. FWIW it may be worth sharing with their parents how you feel. Not everybody wants to celebrate Mother’s Day the same way, so they may not realize it’s different than what you’d hoped for.

 

[snyder502]

@prayerwarriorjd My husband already told them and asked if they could change the date, but they said they can’t make any other weekend work.

 

[charismaticlady]

@snyder502 Then that’s totally fine but they need to expect people not to come. I wouldn’t go.

 

[prayerwarriorjd]

@snyder502 Well, then you can’t make that weekend work, either.
You tried.

 

[quicksand]

@snyder502 Too bad. You can’t go

 

[christianwomanljc]

@snyder502 Then you can apologize and not go and make it up to your niece and nephew later. Get them nice gifts and their favorite cake, they will love that they have another Birthday. Kids forgive when they love someone to a certain extent as long as they still trust you.