I’m conflicted about Mother’s Day…

[linka81]

@snyder502 My first two mother’s days were spent on pre-wedding events for my childless best friend. I didn’t want to miss her events so we just celebrated Mother’s Day a different day. My husband did a whole set up. It worked for us!

 

[robertadev]

@linka81 Two?!

 

[linka81]

@robertadev Wedding dress shopping for one and bachelorette party the following year!

 

[matthias10000]

@snyder502 Our 4 year old niece and nephew (twins) have 5 sets of aunts and uncles and would definitely remember and tell you. It’s not about the parents it’s about the kids. Is it crappy to have it on this day. Absolutely. I love the to death.

Can you make both things work? Maybe bench, stop by the party and then another activity

 

[bef]

@snyder502 Compromise. Don’t help set up, but stop in for a bit before leaving to return to your Mother’s Day celebration

 

[christ4life4ever]

@snyder502 Honestly, show up to the birthday party, show up for the kids. You can celebrate you any day of the week and possibly plan something special for you on another day.

 

[lecsettcalnest1983]

@christ4life4ever That's what I'd do. But then again I'm not big on holidays have to be celebrated on the day, even though this one will also be my first one. I'd be fine with having Mother's day on another Sunday

 

[christianwomanljc]

@snyder502 Can you tell them?

 

[conservativepatriot]

@snyder502 We have to celebrate my son's birthday early this year and he's going to be on Father's Day. We will also make it a Father's Day celebration. We just told everybody we understand if they can't make. It would be nice to have them but we understand people want to celebrate in their own way. It doesn't make you a bad person, or Aunt. You have to do what feels right to you. Maybe you can do some special with your niece and nephew on a different day

 

[roseredd]

@snyder502 I would message them and ask them if they realize that it’s on Mother’s Day. If they say yes, then well thank you for the invitation, but I will be spending Mother’s Day with my baby.

 

[jcsr]

@snyder502 take care of yourself, first, that can be tough, keep advocating for you

 

[webboy58]

@snyder502 I would pick another day to do mother's day - easier to get brunch reservations on an off day anyway. If you do it the day before or after you still get to participate in society. When people ask you how it was you can still say great!

 

[soulbap6]

@snyder502 Is it possible for you to do something in the morning and then go to the birthday, and resume Mother’s Day when you get home?

Also Have you talked to them about it? Just explain people might want to spend time with their moms, and you want to celebrate your first Mother’s Day. Whatever you decide-Don’t feel guilty.

However, since I am a twin and our Birthdays are on the 13th of May, sometimes itd fall on Mother’s Day anyways. We always just do a large celebration since my mom’s birthday is also on the 19th. It’s also my first Mother’s Day but I know my family will want to celebrate my mom and I too.

I told my husband I just want to do a brunch and if family wants to come by- they can. Restaurants are too much of a hassle right now anyways. At least for me.

 

[joshua2505]

@snyder502 I honestly would probably not go and instead make an effort to see them on their actual bdays, or plan a special auntie day that works for you after Mother’s Day. It’s your FIRST Mother’s Day, blame it on the baby if you feel that would be easier “sorry baby isn’t feeling great so we’re not gonna attend”

 

[jamie01]

@snyder502 This is definitely frustrating, but the parents will probably understand if you tell them how you’re feeling, I would not expect them to change the date if it’s the only day that works for them.

I would definitely spend Mother’s Day how I wanted, however, if they are close by, I would try to make a quick stop in the morning, during baby nap, or evening

If you are solely planning on staying home with your family, pop in the day before and give your niece and nephew their gifts then, wish them a happy birthday and apologize you won’t be there for the party.

Try not to overthink it!

 

[jr486]

@snyder502 Just say your husband made reservations for you somewhere or something and that you’re unable to attend. Or use the same excuse but come over for maybe 30 minutes to say hi and drop presents, then dip.

 

[jake19]

@snyder502 On one hand you said “ I feel obligated” and one the other, you said you want to spend your own time as a mom.

Want vs obligation. I’d personally go with “want.” You want this, so you may regret it if you don’t do something for you. You didn’t say “I’d love to spend my first Mother’s Day with my family setting up for my nieces and nephews birthday” and that’s okay because you don’t really want to do it, you just feel obligated. Go with what you want you deserve it.

 

[maxgraham]

@snyder502 Skip the party, and ask to celebrate your niece and nephew another weekend. Bring over presents, treats and have a little mini get-together. They will love it. Then enjoy your Mother's Day guilt-free. Their parents are wack for this.

 

[kthor64]

@snyder502 I would go. It’s not your niece’s and nephew’s fault that their parents chose to have their party on Mother’s Day. You can celebrate your first Mother’s Day any day you want.

 

[lecsettcalnest1983]

@kthor64 Same.