@snyder502 What about celebrating the day before? Sometimes I even prefer to celebrate a holiday on a slightly altered day because it means I actually get the day I want and outside factors are less likely to affect it (restaurants/stores being packed, joint family parties, etc).
It’s of course up to you to do what feels right but it doesn’t sound like they meant any harm either. For new moms it’s special and I think sometimes that slips the minds of parents who have gotten a chance to celebrate a few.
It’s a tough one, but hopefully no one will take your decision too seriously.
Edit: oops just saw you answered this in a comment further down. Your reasoning makes sense and hopefully your family understands.
@dykema17 This is what I decided, to give into for now. We are lucky to still have my mom, mil and grandmother and I'm okay making them the priority for now(as long as I get to sleep in). Then I go get a nice long massage on another day. But I understand everyone feels differently
@snyder502 Yeah that is a long drive! 2 hours of driving with a baby for a party! I probably wouldn’t go then and mail a gift or make plans for another visit since it’s a Sunday and my husband would have to work the next day and you have a baby as well.
But if you do want to go I would do an early breakfast/brunch for mother’s day and then do the party (assuming it’s in the afternoon). Most people only do a brunch or dinner for mother’s day. I don’t think it’s an all day affair usually.
@snyder502 "I'm so sad to miss it this year!! Husband made reservations for the three of us to celebrate mother's day together. I can't wait to stop by and continue the celebrations a week or two after!"
@snyder502 I agree with all the comments that suggest not going to the party and instead having the Mother’s Day that you want.
I didn’t have the first Mother’s Day that I wanted. I instead focused on my mom and my husband and I were too exhausted to do anything else. I really regretted that choice for a long time. I didn’t think I would care that much about the day, but I really did.
@neasia11 I feel this. I decided to host my mom, grandmother, and SIL while taking care of a 3 month old. Spent the whole day running around like crazy and was exhausted, didn’t enjoy it at all. This year, I’m just spending it with my husband and my son and maybe going to do something by myself like a nice pedicure.
@snyder502 Celebrate your first Mother’s Day how you want! I think any reasonable adult would understand. You could offer to meet up with your niece and nephew another time to celebrate their birthdays if you feel so inclined. You can keep your explanation to your niece and nephew simple but upfront. Kids need reminders that other people have their own desires too.
@snyder502 I would not go. I know it’s not the kids fault but their parents need to realize that Mother’s Day is not a solution. I assume they will have minimal attendance. If that’s the case maybe in the future they will know to make a different weekend work.
@snyder502 Do what makes you happy. But also…does Mothers Day have to be on Sunday the 13th? Could you get your day another day? I know it’s sentimental to have it on the actual day but just a perspective I’ve learned when holiday plans go awry and we celebrate at a seemingly random time instead.
@risensoul At least for the first time I would like it to be on that Sunday so much of the time these days I feel like everything else has to be the priority; my husbands work, my baby’s needs, etc… I guess I just want to be a priority just for a day, and if I start off that day by pushing it to a different day it feels like that’s already defeating the purpose.
@snyder502 This might be a cultural thing, but the comments on this are so wild to me. It’s only a special day because you give meaning to it. If it is about spending a nice and special day with your baby and husband, just ask your husband to pretend Mother’s Day is the next Sunday. Make it extra special. The restaurants will be less crowded, you still get to have your day.
@pristerognathus It’s more of a symbolic thing. I highly doubt I’m going to have the courage to bring a young baby out to a crowded restaurant anyways so we’ll probably just order in and spend time together. But it’s the symbolism that I get to be a priority for one day and not just when it’s convenient to put me first. Also, I feel somewhat sad that people who are close to me don’t understand that, especially being a mom themself. I guess I understand that other times wouldn’t be as convenient for them, but they’ve put me in a difficult place. It isn’t a choice between their kids and a stupid holiday. It’s a choice between being there for their kids or allowing me to put myself first for the first time in ages.
I should add that it’s especially hurtful on Mother’s Day of all days because it’s the single day in a year that I shouldn’t even have to ask to be prioritized, and now I still have to make that choice.
@pristerognathus Yeah, that's my thought too. You can celebrate mother's day any day. The only people to need to be involved are OP, her husband, and their baby. Whereas there are a lot more people involved in the niece and nephew's birthday party.
so much of the time these days I feel like everything else has to be the priority; my husbands work, my baby’s needs, etc… I guess I just want to be a priority just for a day, and if I start off that day by pushing it to a different day it feels like that’s already defeating the purpose.