olliemagoo
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@christians Just had a healthy baby girl at 43
How to convince my sister
- Thread starter christians
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katrina2017
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@christians It’s not too late for you. I met my partner when I was 38 soon after we became a couple and by the time I was 39 I was pregnant. My mom also had a baby at 42.
But I will say as a mother of a 12-year-old, whom I raised by myself, single parenting is incredibly challenging. Not just for you, but also for the child. It broke my heart to see my son long for a father and see other father and son duos together and the longing in his eyes was so painful. He also became very aggressive until I found his dad and they met and developed a relationship. I left foc because of DV, I wasn’t so wise in those days. But he has proven to really be there for our son.
So if you can find a good man that would, of course be ideal. I wish you luck finding the right one.
But I will say as a mother of a 12-year-old, whom I raised by myself, single parenting is incredibly challenging. Not just for you, but also for the child. It broke my heart to see my son long for a father and see other father and son duos together and the longing in his eyes was so painful. He also became very aggressive until I found his dad and they met and developed a relationship. I left foc because of DV, I wasn’t so wise in those days. But he has proven to really be there for our son.
So if you can find a good man that would, of course be ideal. I wish you luck finding the right one.
christians
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@katrina2017 Thank you and I’m glad it worked out for you.
@christians Your sister is pretty misinformed. People can have complications at any age. I was pregnant at 37 and a mom at age 38. A ton of women in my professional field have kids later in life.
christians
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@christians It is not too late, first go pregnant will be 38 when baby is born .
@christians I’m 38 and 9 months pregnant. I’d focus less on your sister and more on just getting pregnant asap - every day matters. I had my first at 35, second at 37 and third at 38. I got very lucky. Chances do decrease as we age so I’d just focus on getting pregnant if it’s important to you. Also don’t be too stuck on a son and a daughter … I ended up with three or the same gender 
christians
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sherribennettblog
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@christians Why does she need to be convinced about a decision affecting your body?
christians
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@sherribennettblog I want her support. I’m going to do it anyway.
@christians You’re not too old. From everything I’ve heard and read though, it just depends on your particular makeup, genetics, health, etc. My sister is a doctor and deals with heaps of women who have kids well into their 40s.
Don’t let anyone talk you out of it if it’s what you really want. Best not to discuss with the naysayers and just do your research and see any doctors you need. Their advice will err on the side of extreme caution but that’s their job, so don’t be put off unless there’s a specific reason for you that it’s not a god idea.
Don’t let anyone talk you out of it if it’s what you really want. Best not to discuss with the naysayers and just do your research and see any doctors you need. Their advice will err on the side of extreme caution but that’s their job, so don’t be put off unless there’s a specific reason for you that it’s not a god idea.
christians
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musicismath
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@christians I gave birth at 37 to my first baby — he’s perfectly healthy and an absolute joy!! I’m 39 now and hope to have another in the next year or two. Go for it!! Don’t let anyone else make decisions for YOUR life. 
@christians You can't convince her that because you don't know that.
It's very unlikely there will be an issue for you even if you're a few years older than peak fertility, but that doesn't mean everyone is always fine. Her experience has shown her when it doesn't work out, and she's naturally concerned.
You can think very carefully about how you would deal with every single problem, and show her you've thought about it, have your eyes open, and are prepared.
Then she can get on board or not.
For example what if you do a test and find out you are carrying a baby with a fatal fetal abnormality or something that will make them extremely high needs. Would you be able to care for them the rest of your life on your own? Can you quit your job if you have to and survive? Or would you abort? Or would you have other support?
If you're not living on your own and are still in a kind or grief period where you're being looked after by family it is absolutely natural they would worry about you getting pregnant.
If you have a rough pregnancy or are sick or your baby is sick then you'll be requiring the support of your sister you live with.
That's not a fair thing to decide to do when you're leaning on someone else.
It would be none of her business if you were living on your own now and I'd say step one to getting her to see this as a positive is to change that situation.
It's very unlikely there will be an issue for you even if you're a few years older than peak fertility, but that doesn't mean everyone is always fine. Her experience has shown her when it doesn't work out, and she's naturally concerned.
You can think very carefully about how you would deal with every single problem, and show her you've thought about it, have your eyes open, and are prepared.
Then she can get on board or not.
For example what if you do a test and find out you are carrying a baby with a fatal fetal abnormality or something that will make them extremely high needs. Would you be able to care for them the rest of your life on your own? Can you quit your job if you have to and survive? Or would you abort? Or would you have other support?
If you're not living on your own and are still in a kind or grief period where you're being looked after by family it is absolutely natural they would worry about you getting pregnant.
If you have a rough pregnancy or are sick or your baby is sick then you'll be requiring the support of your sister you live with.
That's not a fair thing to decide to do when you're leaning on someone else.
It would be none of her business if you were living on your own now and I'd say step one to getting her to see this as a positive is to change that situation.
christians
New member
@christians It's not too late. You can get pregnant. Don't listen to anyone else's opinion. Do what YOU want.