How to convince my sister

[christians]

So I’m 37 and will be 38 in May. I was in engaged but my fiancé committed suicide. I don’t have anyone to have children with yet. It has been six months and I still want children yet my sister tells me I’m too old for that and I should just adopt. I really want to experience pregnancy and have a son and daughter. I don’t mind going to a sperm bank of it comes to that. How can i convince her that the babies and I will be fine.

 

[alincoboy]

@christians You don’t need to convince any one of anything. She’ll most likely believe what she believes until you prove her wrong and even then she may say you got lucky or some other excuse. There may be statistics out there you can dig out of the internet and show her if you need tangible facts Sorry about your fiance

 

[christians]

@alincoboy Thank you. I told her what my doctor said but all she can think about are the few people that had complications.

 

[damifaj]

@christians If you want to get pregnant, I'd make an appointment to talk to a fertility doctor asap. Don't wait. And don't let anyone else's opinion, family or not, keep you from exploring your options. People have all kinds of dumb opinions on what women of any age should or should not be doing with their bodies. Block out that noise and focus on what YOU want. Good luck, OP!

 

[solidsteve19]

@damifaj Yes. Don’t wait. You don’t know how long it will take. I started trying at 37, was super fertile with one big problem: my pregnancies didn’t last. Six losses and seven years later, I have my baby thanks to donor egg and a lot of reproductive immunology investigation and intervention. I did not expect to have my first baby at 44. And if I hadn’t gone the donor route I’d have been SOL.

Don’t wait!

 

[christians]

@solidsteve19 I’m just wanting to get a breast reduction first. I want that by summer.

 

[jl090812]

@christians Re: breast reduction- I had one in 2004 and gave birth in January 2024. Some people can breastfeed just fine after one and some people can’t. I ended up being in the “can’t” group. (I had a few extenuating circumstances that contributed to breast milk production being difficult as well though.) The aspect that might carry over for you as well is that the lactation consultant recommended nipple shields to help baby latch, but I couldn’t get them to properly seal because of the scar line around my areola. Baby is completely healthy and happy being exclusively formula fed, but I had some mental health struggles because I really wanted to breastfeed.

All of that said, a breast reduction was one of the very best things I ever did for myself! You’re smart to do it before you have a baby that needs to be held and picked up! Mainly just wanted you to be aware it’s a possible outcome.

Best of luck to you!

 

[christians]

@jl090812 The last thing I need is more breasts. My breasts are so sensitive I don’t have the desire to breastfeed.

 

[jl090812]

@christians I am so excited for your breast reduction! Mine was life changing.

 

[christians]

@jl090812 I just have to lose the few pounds I gained first. Hopefully find a doctor who doesn’t mind my weight.

 

[christians]

@damifaj Thank you. I waited until I was in a relationship that would lead to marriage to have sex and she thinks if I can’t find a partner than it’ll be hard.

 

[josieyy]

@christians Why do you need to convince her? I just had my second perfectly healthy baby at 38. Dive in! It'll be the best thing you ever do! Good luck!

 

[christians]

@josieyy I’ve always wanted to be a mother and I waited until I thought I found the right guy. She’s just worried and I understand that since her friend lost twins and another friend has a special needs child.

 

[ariakerry]

@christians I am 37 and due in early May. I intend to try for another one after this baby.

I’m sorry but what you’re sister is saying to you is not right. Only you know what’s best for you, and if you want to do this in your own way then you should do it.

It’s your life, not your sister’s or anyone else’s to live. Do what’s right for you, and to quote 311 “fuck the naysayers because they don’t mean a thing…”

 

[christians]

@ariakerry She had her children young and she married young. So she’s split about trying to convince me to just adopt but I want to feel pregnancy for myself.

 

[ariakerry]

@christians Im sorry im just not sure why her opinion matters here. You’re an adult 37 year old woman. She doesn’t dictate your life, you do. Maybe it’s time to examine why she has so much control over your decisions. You are in control of your future. I understand her opinion is valued by you, but it shouldn’t dictate your ultimate decision making.

 

[christians]

@ariakerry She really took care of me after my fiancé hurt himself and she’s just being a big sister. I just want her support.

 

[janeblue]

@christians You may not get her support until after you have your babies. If she’s truly a good big sister who loves and supports you, she will be on your side in the end.

 

[christians]

@janeblue She is worried but she’s a great big sister.

 

[anaseini]

@christians I’m 41. My OB told me that at my age, they monitor more closely but that a vast majority of babies are delivered perfectly healthy. I lucked out and got pregnant on the first try as well which I realize isn’t common but it’s definitely possible. My grandmas both had 2 kids each well into their 40s (up to 46). And this was in the 60s and 80s (yes, two of my uncles are younger than me).

There’s a lot of misconception surrounding advanced age maternity