This afternoon my downstairs neighbor came up to tell me my daughter is too loud and that she is almost in tears over the noise. She brought up her bag of ear plugs and said they aren't working and that apparently we set off her cat motion detector. I know she can be noisey and I do my best to take her outside when the weather is nice but I'm really worried about what we are going to do once winter arrives. It's been challenging with COVID and I don't have much of a support system. I allow her to watch some TV but don't want her watching it all day. We were out today from 9-12, she watched a movie on the couch after lunch and then we were outside for close to an hour. After she came upstairs I told her we would leave for awhile and we took a car ride for about an hour but we had to come home for dinner, bath and bed. I feel awful to be such a nuisance but I can't leave all day either. We are currently looking for other housing. I guess I'm looking for some helpful advice. Thank you!!
How do I survive living in an apartment with a 2.5 y/o
@glall2u2 I mean, do you have rugs down? That can help with some of the noise. But unless your kid is literally jumping up and down all day (which my toddler definitely did), your neighbor just has to suck it up. One of the unpleasant parts of living in an apartment is that neighbors are often loud, but everyone has to deal with it.
katrina2017
New member
katrina2017
New member
@glall2u2 I had this very issue not long ago. First of all, i FEEL your stress and concerns. Those were mine. My son was 2 at the time. My husband had to be up at 5am to get to work. He was gone all day. My daughter was out the door for school before 7am. So my son was up either up before or after those times. I knew that a family of 4 (sometimes 6) was living downstairs. Same as us 2bd, 2bth. So i can just imagine how much harder it was to deal with upstairs noise and then your own household. However, how they dealt with it was hot and cold. Sometimes the husband would come upstairs and ask us if we could keep it down or his wife would bang the ceiling and it terrified my toddler, which outraged me. We run a tight schedule at home. So my kiddos were in bed at 8:30pm. Most of the complaining was during the day. I would give my son morning cartoons and breakfast, hoping nothing triggered him to run. I would have to get after him EVERY TIME he ran. I was fed up. I told my husband. I just don't believe in keeping a child from running around or playing (there is a time and place for everything) and i felt i was holding my child back. I also would take plenty of adventures outside, too tucker him out. But winter and anytime i got sick was the worst. I will never forget the wife came yelling outside on Christmas day to tell my daughter to keep it down. I immediately boiled and told her "okay". I felt horrible. I went to the managers office and told her all about it. I told her it was my first time experiencing this type of predicament. I didn't want to inconvenience anyone but i didn't appreciate that she approached my kid. If you got a problem talk to me, the adult. Don't fucking confront my kid about it. The manager reassured me that i was not in the wrong. Unless we are breaking the complex rules than she can't really tell us anything. And if she has a problem with it, than she can take a visit to the managers office.
justanotherday
New member
@katrina2017 Yes, the stress! I lived in constant fear that our neighbor was going to come upstairs and complain AGAIN. My kids really couldn't play like kids until we moved. I was constantly telling them to be quiet and that they couldn't do things. It's no way to live.
katrina2017
New member
@justanotherday I completely agree! It's no way to live. I had my share of complaints but i swallowed my pride and remembered it was MY decision to live there. We made the best out of it.
Edit: I cried with my husband when we finally moved. Waking up to my kids running around and not having to yell was an amazing feeling. They got to finally be freeeee! Ha!
Edit: I cried with my husband when we finally moved. Waking up to my kids running around and not having to yell was an amazing feeling. They got to finally be freeeee! Ha!
justanotherday
New member
@katrina2017 Yes, my kids had a big stomping party!
katrina2017
New member
@justanotherday That's too funny! My daughter was stomping and yelling HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT NEIGHBOR
katrina2017
New member
@glall2u2 When we were in an apartment, we were on 2nd of a 3 story building. Our upstairs neighbor had a bloody treadmill they would run on. I sucked it up.
Unless your toddler is causing you to break any bylaws I say apologize and tell them politely to pound sand. If she calls the police over a toddler being a toddler, she can enjoy her charges for filing a false report and wasting a police officer’s time.
Unless your toddler is causing you to break any bylaws I say apologize and tell them politely to pound sand. If she calls the police over a toddler being a toddler, she can enjoy her charges for filing a false report and wasting a police officer’s time.
katrina2017
New member
A treadmill? That's fucking diabolical.
My worst neighbor was a bartender, she'd get home at 3am and watch the office at full volume every damn night. I like the show but the theme song automatically makes me sooo angry now.
My worst neighbor was a bartender, she'd get home at 3am and watch the office at full volume every damn night. I like the show but the theme song automatically makes me sooo angry now.
katrina2017
New member
Omg I hope I’m not your neighbor.
katrina2017
New member
This was back in 2011 so I think you're good 
katrina2017
New member
I’ve been watching reruns of The office since 2006. I can’t be ruled out.
@katrina2017 Exactly. There are quite hours, for a reason, at night. During the day she and her kid deserves to live there life. Noise isa part of communal living. Period. They aren't doing anything wrong
godisgood777
New member
@glall2u2 It seems to me that your downstairs neighboor just has to face what having a toddler upstairs sounds like. Unfortunately that won't necessarily happen.
In terms of winter: I assume that you're American, and from my - Scandinavian - perspective North American attitudes towards small children and cold weather are really weird. Here in Scandinavia we let our toddlers, babies, and infants alike be outside in the cold for hours if they wish, we just dress them properly. We even let them nap outside in the cold (again dressed properly). When outside and it's really cold dress them in an inner layer of a thin soft wool shirt and wool leggings. Then normal clothes on top, and if that's still not enough, put another woolen jumper and thick woolen pants on them. Finally put them in a good snow suit, a good pair of woolen socks, and a good pair of winter boots. Add a woolen balaclava-style hat/cap, possibly a scarf and then they can stay outside and play for hours.
But as I said, it sounds like your toddler is just being a toddler. I get how stressful noises can be - I've had noisy upstairs neighbours and it drove me insane. But, as long as your daughter is just playing, jumping and stuff and it's within reasonable hours (so not at night or early mornings) there is nothing to do about it. That is just how living in an apartment is.
In terms of winter: I assume that you're American, and from my - Scandinavian - perspective North American attitudes towards small children and cold weather are really weird. Here in Scandinavia we let our toddlers, babies, and infants alike be outside in the cold for hours if they wish, we just dress them properly. We even let them nap outside in the cold (again dressed properly). When outside and it's really cold dress them in an inner layer of a thin soft wool shirt and wool leggings. Then normal clothes on top, and if that's still not enough, put another woolen jumper and thick woolen pants on them. Finally put them in a good snow suit, a good pair of woolen socks, and a good pair of winter boots. Add a woolen balaclava-style hat/cap, possibly a scarf and then they can stay outside and play for hours.
But as I said, it sounds like your toddler is just being a toddler. I get how stressful noises can be - I've had noisy upstairs neighbours and it drove me insane. But, as long as your daughter is just playing, jumping and stuff and it's within reasonable hours (so not at night or early mornings) there is nothing to do about it. That is just how living in an apartment is.
@godisgood777 I’m in the US and I think the problem is not everyone has 100$+ dollars a year to spend on quality winter clothing. I’m in northern MN so it gets cold and snow on the ground 6-7 months out of the year. So far this year I’m over 100$ in on winter gear for my kid and I shop sales and used. That’s pretty expensive for a lot of families
godisgood777
New member
@godisgood777 Can your MIL knit me some wooly sweaters too? That sounds so nice!
godisgood777
New member
jesussoldier
New member
@glall2u2 I am terrified of living in apartments, I have 3 young kids with severe ADHD and Autism. While they are very well behaved, happy, polite kids, THEY ARE KIDS AND KIDS MAKE NOISE.
Take most of these comments to heart: Both you and your downstairs neighbor live in an apartment building and there is a reasonable expectation that you will hear your neighbors on all sides. The only thing standing between them and you is A WALL. Unless your kids are literally jumping off furniture near everyday, you're just fine. Kids run, kids jump, kids are boisterous, IT'S A FACT OF LIFE. If you are respectfully following curfew rules mornings\nights, then the rest of the day is 'free time' (within reason)
Especially now during Covid, life is hard for everyone and especially for those that have kids and mental health issues. Do not stress over this, do not stunt your kid's normal daytime play, let them be kids!
If your neighbor repeats her complaints to you (and you feel your kids are doing reasonable covid indoor kid play) just say "I'm sorry you feel we are loud and i hope you can work something out to cope. Apartment living is tough right? I am doing my part to keep activities to daytime indoor activity levels, I hope you understand." If they persist, suggest they talk to the manager, and maybe they'll be lucky and have an empty apartment further over! Lol.
Take most of these comments to heart: Both you and your downstairs neighbor live in an apartment building and there is a reasonable expectation that you will hear your neighbors on all sides. The only thing standing between them and you is A WALL. Unless your kids are literally jumping off furniture near everyday, you're just fine. Kids run, kids jump, kids are boisterous, IT'S A FACT OF LIFE. If you are respectfully following curfew rules mornings\nights, then the rest of the day is 'free time' (within reason)
Especially now during Covid, life is hard for everyone and especially for those that have kids and mental health issues. Do not stress over this, do not stunt your kid's normal daytime play, let them be kids!
If your neighbor repeats her complaints to you (and you feel your kids are doing reasonable covid indoor kid play) just say "I'm sorry you feel we are loud and i hope you can work something out to cope. Apartment living is tough right? I am doing my part to keep activities to daytime indoor activity levels, I hope you understand." If they persist, suggest they talk to the manager, and maybe they'll be lucky and have an empty apartment further over! Lol.