How do I survive living in an apartment with a 2.5 y/o

[letirrain]

@glall2u2 We got some cushy link together play mats. They dampened the noise for us and were easier on my knees. We also found a non-skid kind of one that we put at the base of the stairs. I thought they were kinds of nice.

Play Mat

 

[stefana]

@glall2u2 Everyone is a bit on edge right now. Is your neighbor working from home? Are they elderly? My parents now live in a first floor condo because they could no longer upkeep a private home and due to physical problems they cant live up a flight of stairs. So for those commenting that the other neighbor should take the upstairs apartment, there are valid reasons why people have to have a first floor flat.

I think most people would also agree (as well as yourself) that having a toddler in a second floor apartment can be a bit of a noise problem for the person below. It isnt the kids fault, kids will be kids. But yes, I think admitting you know it may be an issue is great.

I would try to work with your neighbor and ask her if there are any times of the day where she could really use more quiet and see if you can compromise on trying to keep the noise down a bit during those times. Also just acknowledging that you know your child is a typical toddler and with the pandemic there have been limited options for her to be more active outside.

 

[jazzyd777]

@stefana ^ This is a really well thought-out and diplomatic response!

I totally agree. It would help to understand her situation a little better, and for her to understand yours. She might be working night shifts at a hospital and need to sleep during the day. Or like the poster above me said, she might be having to work at home through the pandemic. But if either of those things are the case, work out where exactly her bedroom/office is, and try not to let your toddler be in the room above that. I also think your neighbour needs to understand that toddlers are naturally loud, and you can't be expected to drive around all day trying to keep out of your own house. A bit of give and take here from everyone would be best. Does the neighbour rent or own the apartment? If she's renting, she might consider moving elsewhere- it sounds like apartment living in general is not for her. I'm the same- I moved into an apartment this year and the noise from all my neighbours doing renovations during the pandemic is driving me insane...but I know that's just how it is living in an apartment block, so next place I live in I'll be looking for something with thicker walls or ideally a standalone place.

 

[needgodalways]

@glall2u2 I have a pair of toddler twins in the apartment above me. They’re constantly dropping things, they and the dog are always running and tippy-tapping around, loud knocking sounds ALL day. My family have all been doing work and school at home for the last half year, as have they. They bring food and goodies down every so often to apologize because there really isn’t anything they can do, they’re toddlers. And it’s not just the sound, it’s the slight vibrating. AKG noise cancelling headphones or camping at coffee shops or blasting my own music are the only things that have helped me. It’s not your fault, as much as it can be annoying.

 

[fideetvirtute]

@glall2u2 Tell your neighbor that next time she should choose the upstairs unit. If you dont want to hear other people, you shouldn't choose a living situation that surrounds you with others.

 

[katrina2017]

@fideetvirtute I agree with the sentiment but that's a super shitty way to communicate amicably.

 

[forthcomingchristian]

@katrina2017 Bringing earplugs to your neighbor to cry because a toddler is loud is a pretty shitty way to communicate too.

 

[katrina2017]

@forthcomingchristian Maybe they are having a really hard time.

 

[forthcomingchristian]

@katrina2017 I'm sure they are, but its literally impossible to make a two year old be quiet several hours a day. Any healthy toddler will be loud a majority of the time, that's just how kids are. It's hard to deal with, but making the mother feel like garbage isn't helping either of them and is in fact just making it harder on the probably already struggling mom.

 

[katrina2017]

@forthcomingchristian I don't think she was trying to make her feel like garbage. Just because it's frustrating doesn't mean it's appropriate to be bitchy. Let's problem solve and compromise, not immediately go to a stressful catfight.
Conflict resolution is the shit. Being aggressive or passive aggressive or whatever is weak minded.

 

[sk3ptic]

@fideetvirtute As an upstairs apartment liver, 80% of the noises I hear come from downstairs. It sounds like there’s baby elephants playing around down there. Not saying that there isn’t noise from up here as I have a 1 year old who’s just grasped the idea of grabbing something he’s not supposed to have & sprinting away from me. All of that to say, sometimes it doesn’t matter top or bottom. Just have to accept whatever comes with the place until you can afford to move somewhere else

 

[chickadee18]

@glall2u2 If she bothers you again I would talk to the manager/landlord. Unless your little one is wearing lead shoes I cannot imagine the situation is as dramatic as it seems

 

[justanotherday]

@glall2u2 We had the same problem. The only thing to do is move or she does. Carpeting helps but even then our neighbor complained that our daughter dropped things too often.....yeah, she was a toddler. That's communal living. You deal with the noise or live somewhere else. Maybe she's a really nice lady (our neighbor wasn't and tried reporting us to the co-op all the time....they learned to tune her out.) The only thing you can do is tell her that you are doing your best and that you are looking for alternative housing. You shouldn't have to leave your home to accommodate her. You have just as much right to live in your home as she does. Could be worse...we had a bottom unit before we moved to a bigger one and the kid above us had an endless parade of women come through. The couple that was there before him was an elderly couple. The husband had alzheimers and would scream ,"You're not my wife! I don't know you!" Until they took him away in an ambulance. It was sad. If you have to get an apartment again, try for the bottom floor and hope for good neighbors.

 

[katiejo1956]

@glall2u2 fuck your neighbor. seriously. i mean unless your daughter is like jumping off the bed onto the floor in a 2nd story, then tell the neighbor to go fuck herself.

 

[ilikemango]

@glall2u2 Your obligation is to make sure you and your daughter go to bed happy. Live your life. Unless you're mosh pit 24/7, they can fcuk right off. Dramatic, to bring up earplugs at all, much less MULTIPLE sets.
Don't let your kid see you feeling guilty over this, and becoming insecure like anyone else is more important than she is.
You can offer reminders that it's kind to make sure we have quieter, walking feet in the house, but kids are kids.

 

[juanaatorres]

@glall2u2 I feel like apartment complexes should point this kinda thing out when renting apts, like hey upstairs neighbors do have kids, or encourage ground floor with littles. I get both sides now, but before kids, I really didn't get it. You are making all reasonable accommodations but you are paying rent as well and deserve to enjoy your place as much as they do. Do they maybe work nights and sleep during day or certain hours they are on conference calls? You shouldn't have to tiptoe all day and night for them, but maybe as if certain hours they really need quiet for some reason? Its easier to not be at war with neighbors.

 

[tdrum99]

@glall2u2 Our upstairs neighbors have the weirdest sleep schedule. They'll be quiet all day and then start moving around 23:00 doing things you'd normally do... You know... During the day. Like vacuuming, getting into screaming matches, playing their guitar, doing dishes, straight up karaoke sometimes, loud sex, etc etc. And they'll only calm down again around 04:30/05:00 am. And no they haven't left their apartment during lockdown so it's not like they're working night shifts??

Unless your kid plays with bowling balls and watches cartoons at all the decibels, I think your neighbor can invest in some noise canceling headphones and take a hike.

Goodluck!!

 

[gmoney5399]

@glall2u2 Been there before kids. It use to cause me so much anxiety. It's there a chance to swap apartments. None is right or wrong here, it's a shitty situation to be honest. You are doing well too try and keep it down.

 

[oldwatchman]

@glall2u2 Honestly, too bad for Neighbor! That’s apartment living. You aren’t making obscene noises all hours of the night and that’s the only thing that’s prohibited. So if shes in tears over it, then she needs to find a new place to live.

 

[jordan2010]

@glall2u2 I have a crying newborn and neighbors just have to deal with. Marijuana smell came into our apartment and idk how to deal with that...