@elizabeda777 Yes this is what I’ve read too
How do I break feeding to sleep association?
- Thread starter allfree15
- Start date
ibanezgirl1227
New member
@elizabeda777 Thank you! This makes me feel better.
@allfree15 In terms of sleep training. A few minutes of fussing is all it took for us. We just gave her a chance to fall asleep on her own. We put her down and went and did our own night time routines and came back 5min later. After like 2 days those 5 minutes were all she needed. Maybe 10 if she was barely making any noise.
We never fed to sleep so YMMV
We never fed to sleep so YMMV
@allfree15 If you’re looking for science-based info, I strongly recommend paying $10 for this guide to the 4mo sleep regression:
https://www.babysleepscience.com/books
I have no relationship with them except that I’ve used their advice, a lot.
https://www.babysleepscience.com/books
I have no relationship with them except that I’ve used their advice, a lot.
@seditthis "4mo sleep regression" isn't science based.
@seven2014 That’s true, it’s more accurately asleep maturation. That book just says sleep regression in the title because that’s what everyone calls it, it’s explained immediately inside.
Notably, of the many sleep regressions people, talk about (eight months, two years, whatever) four months is the only one that is actually tied to any brain changes.
Notably, of the many sleep regressions people, talk about (eight months, two years, whatever) four months is the only one that is actually tied to any brain changes.
@seditthis No, even the 4-month thing isn't science based.
You're telling me every single child's sleep "matures" or regresses or whatever you want to call it at 4 months? When even the CDC milestones aren't anywhere near so precise? It makes no logical sense.
It's like saying the 4 month tooth or the 4 month word. All children reach all milestones within a very broad range.
You're telling me every single child's sleep "matures" or regresses or whatever you want to call it at 4 months? When even the CDC milestones aren't anywhere near so precise? It makes no logical sense.
It's like saying the 4 month tooth or the 4 month word. All children reach all milestones within a very broad range.
@seven2014 4 months is a range.
Here’s info on the changes:
https://www.sleepfoundation.org/baby-sleep/baby-sleep-cycle
What Does a Baby’s Sleep Cycle Look Like?
Generally, researchers identify two sleep stages in newborn babies and four sleep stages in babies over three months old. The newborn sleep stages are rapid eye movement (REM) and non-rapid eye movement (NREM). Newborns spend close to equal amounts of time in REM and NREM while they sleep
Here’s info on the changes:
https://www.sleepfoundation.org/baby-sleep/baby-sleep-cycle
What Does a Baby’s Sleep Cycle Look Like?
Generally, researchers identify two sleep stages in newborn babies and four sleep stages in babies over three months old. The newborn sleep stages are rapid eye movement (REM) and non-rapid eye movement (NREM). Newborns spend close to equal amounts of time in REM and NREM while they sleep
@seditthis I've never seen regression-peddlers quote actual scientific sources, only "sleep experts", so thank you. I'll look into it.
naturenurture
New member
@allfree15 im literally here searching for the same exact answers!!! he will feed himself to death too! i dont want him fat. hell scream til he coughs for the damn bottle.
@naturenurture I don’t think babies can get fat from breastmilk? Could you ask your doc? It may be that this isn’t something you don’t need to worry about
naturenurture
New member
@allfree15 I meant like they say they can become obese from overeating at this point in life now, in the future...if that made sense, ha. I am speaking on formula eating, though I should've clarified that.
@naturenurture Oh okay! I don’t know much about formula. Does your Bub need a bottle to fall asleep? Won’t settle for a paci?
@allfree15 I'm always confused why, hypothetically, someone would rather put themselves and their kid through weeks or months of terrible sleep routines when a few days of different routines could make everyone's life easier.
Just because something in the status quo doesn't mean you aren't actively perpetuating it. Many people say "my kid just CAN'T do X" when really the kid never has to do X and thus doesn't do X even though they're capable.
Not saying you need to do anything different if you don't want to, but you should be honest that you're choosing the situation you're in to alternatives, it's not something that's just happening to you.
Just because something in the status quo doesn't mean you aren't actively perpetuating it. Many people say "my kid just CAN'T do X" when really the kid never has to do X and thus doesn't do X even though they're capable.
Not saying you need to do anything different if you don't want to, but you should be honest that you're choosing the situation you're in to alternatives, it's not something that's just happening to you.
@ibelieve2 I feel like I have tried everything except cry it out. I don’t believe in it. I don’t want to do it to her.
agustinus555
New member
@allfree15 It's ok! You really don't have to.
Does your LO ever fall asleep another way? In a carrier, stroller, car, swing, being rocked, bounced, anything at all?
Because 4.5 months is still just so little. She's got a sleep regression and maybe a growth spurt going, and I always wonder if babies get growing pains; you would think they definitely would. She may be cluster feeding at a really inopportune time or comforting herself through growing pains the only way she knows how.
I can't remember if I read this or if my kid's pediatrician said it, but the advice was that if baby can sometimes fall asleep by other means (car ride, rocking, stroller, etc) you don't actually have a problem. If baby doesn't EVER fall asleep any other way, you're entering problem territory.
Does your LO ever fall asleep another way? In a carrier, stroller, car, swing, being rocked, bounced, anything at all?
Because 4.5 months is still just so little. She's got a sleep regression and maybe a growth spurt going, and I always wonder if babies get growing pains; you would think they definitely would. She may be cluster feeding at a really inopportune time or comforting herself through growing pains the only way she knows how.
I can't remember if I read this or if my kid's pediatrician said it, but the advice was that if baby can sometimes fall asleep by other means (car ride, rocking, stroller, etc) you don't actually have a problem. If baby doesn't EVER fall asleep any other way, you're entering problem territory.
@agustinus555 Thank you! Yes she falls asleep in the car and during walks. Very occasionally my partner can rock her to sleep. On Monday I was feeding while swaying and she turned away from my breast and opted to be swayed to sleep. We often try rocking without success though. I wonder if it would be worth trying to drive/walk to sleep more frequently?
agustinus555
New member
@allfree15 Aw, good! I genuinely don't think you have a problem then. You can proceed with feeding to sleep when it's convenient and letting her fall asleep in the car/on walks and mix in some attempts at swaying or rocking when you want to and it sounds like maturity will slowly do the rest.
Anecdote on the way, but that's exactly what happened with both of my babies. Baby #1 learned to go to sleep on his own (drowsy but awake) around age 1, with tons of stress and concern and angst because I was so terrified I was "ruining" him by feeding to sleep; Baby #2 also learned to go to sleep on her own (drowsy but awake) around age 1, but with absolutely no angst on my part because I was no terrified by all the conflicting doom-and-gloom, fear-mongering sleep advice
Anecdote on the way, but that's exactly what happened with both of my babies. Baby #1 learned to go to sleep on his own (drowsy but awake) around age 1, with tons of stress and concern and angst because I was so terrified I was "ruining" him by feeding to sleep; Baby #2 also learned to go to sleep on her own (drowsy but awake) around age 1, but with absolutely no angst on my part because I was no terrified by all the conflicting doom-and-gloom, fear-mongering sleep advice
@agustinus555 Thank you I really do appreciate this 
pyncundinuins
New member
@allfree15 Nobody WANTS to do it to their kid but it sometimes is a necessity and it does work. I sleep trained my boy when he was 4 months for the exact same reasons you mentioned. He cried for like 30 min the first night and 10 min the second night and he NEVER cried going to sleep again. That combined 40 minutes of crying was so so so much easier than dragging it out over weeks and months. From that point on, he went to sleep independently in his crib and when he woke at night for a quick feed, he would again put himself back to sleep within 5 minutes. Then he’d wake up in the morning happy as a little clam because he was getting the appropriate amount of rest. It was absolutely glorious!!