Losing it; 2 y/o awake for hours at a time. How to break the cycle?

[optii]

@maxinvasion What time does she wake at in the morning? Personally I would have her awake from 6.30-7 and bed at 7, no nap during the day. If she wakes I would put her in her room and let her cry scream for 20 mins, lift her take her back to bed then if she still plays, rinse and repeat. But have her up early at 6.30-7 and let her be tired the first few days.

It sounds like it's now a routine or habit for her to wake at night

 

[piggybank]

@maxinvasion Try a sleep consultant?

I’d be toying with nap schedules and trying some CIO periods and taking turns with my spouse so I get a full sleep every second night.

Our son was a nightmare sleeper though so I’m not even sure if anything we did helped or if he just naturally got better

 

[darcy23]

@maxinvasion Have you tried a later bed time? I'm 18 month old won't go down till like 8.30-9ish. The later bed time might just push her through. Whatever you try, remember that this is temporary and will eventually go away. I know that doesn't help much when youre running on fumes sorry. Stay strong brother

 

[christyaf124]

@maxinvasion Is she physically and mentally tired from her daily activities? I try to aim for being on the verge of exhaustion half hour before bed time.

A full belly, a hot bath and a bed time story and my 4 year old still sleeps 7-7 most nights. He'll wake up for a wee and ask for the TV in the early hours, but gets told No and goes back asleep.

 

[maxinvasion]

@christyaf124 She’s extremely active during the day to the point we have to stop her at some point sometimes. She’d run until her legs fall off and not be able to sleep at all if we don’t build in little moments of relaxation during the day.

 

[christyaf124]

@maxinvasion Obviously not judging or questioning, but what about mental stimulation? Mine went through a phase of just physical exertion and it never wore him out. Added in more reading, learning games etc and the wee man was goosed come bed time and slept right through

 

[snap_eyes]

@maxinvasion Tommy Tippy Groclock. Helps teach kids when it’s time to get out of bed. Helped so much with my little one at this stage.

 

[katrina2017]

@maxinvasion Sleep consultant.

Find a local one, ideally speak to someone who has used them. I thought it was snake oil, my wife insisted, but they saved our lives. We were in the absolute horrors and they had our kid sleeping through the night within a few weeks.

You've a bunch of people here, with the best will in the world, telling you what worked for THEM. For example one piece of advice I read in the thread is not to give a nap during the day - that would be inconceivable for my kids and would completely screw up their nighttime. A sleep consultant will be able to take all that into account.

 

[nsurridge]

@maxinvasion Whatever you do, do not drop the nap during the day.
Toddlers are very active, they are super busy and sleep during the day is essential for good brain development.
It is not because she naps during the day that she doesn’t sleep at night.

 

[katrina2017]

@maxinvasion She needs some cuddles and wants to sleep with mom and dad. Just give it a try-out for 3 months and then slowly work to her own bed again... gradually... step by step. SLOWLY

 

[rosegreen]

@maxinvasion Just a guess but I’ve been asking out nursery why our kid sleeps 3 hour naps everyday at nursery but we get broken sleep patterns.

They said they keep the kid super busy and active all day. So by the time it’s nap time they are completely zonked.

Work your kid during the day and they will have a deep sleep at night.

 

[peachyme]

@maxinvasion My youngest used to wake up three to four times every night. We eventually got a sleep plan online from a sleep consultant. I was a bit skeptical but we saw improvement within about three nights. I think it was only like 150 for the plan. https://gentlesleep.com.au

 

[janeccrn]

@maxinvasion Both my kids never napped during the day past 1 years old. They both sleep completely through the night. After you get them home from childcare get them tired. I would play with .y kids while my wife was making dinner routinely.

 

[laudorison]

@maxinvasion Hey, I found great practical solutions to a very similar problem in the book "The no cry sleep solution for toddlers".

It's well worth a read for anyone facing sleep problems with their kids. There's also a copy for younger children but our little one was early school age at the time, it made sense.

In our case, the solution we hadn't thought of was making a bed/nest for our then 4 year old in our room... so that when she woke she could wonder in, snuggle up and drift back off. Once that started happening we all got tonnes more sleep and life was much more bearable.

We now know the likely reason behind her waking up and being able to stay awake (seemingly stubbornly) at 4am was that she's autistic. We adapted our lives, moved, and now she sleeps in eyesight of our bed, she stays in it all night and has comfort that she can see us.

I strongly suggest the book, it had a tonne of practical ideas, grouped by the issue you're trying to solve, tried and tested by other parents going through it.

You do not have to read it cover to cover to identify the issue you're facing, read about the potential causes and practical solutions.

The thing I liked the most was they were practical, we put it into effect and almost immediately there was a tonne of relief.

Best of luck!

Oh, ps; your little one's problem sounds very similar to ours, maybe bed/nest is your solution too.

 

[rodniblett]

@maxinvasion So my daughter did this same exact thing. All she wanted was to snuggle us for an hour or two, drink milk, and whatever else we’d do trying to get her to sleep. Eventually we realized all she wanted was us. So we had to start sleep training which we hadn’t done before. Those first few nights were terrible but eventually she stopped waking up at 1 am every night.

 

[fixed]

@maxinvasion Put her to sleep a bit later, also, try putting up soft music

 

[whbj]

@maxinvasion I’m having the same issue (I’m a mammy and this sub warms my heart - I’ve directed my partner here - this post caught my eye when scrolling, I’m so sorry to intrude)

Anyway, there’s an episode of Bluey where Bingo is encouraged to stay in her room, it’s gorgeous and works for us.
“You’re such a big girl like Bingo! Big girls love their own bed, we’re also close by” etc etc

GoodLuck

There’s a reason lack of sleep has been used as a torture method, such a grim existence for a while.

 

[miryamshoresh]

@maxinvasion I feel your pain, my 3 yo wakes for between 1 1/2 to 3 hours every night, talked to countless professionals about it with no solutions.id he doesn't wake up then he wakes between 430 and 5 Melatonin kinda works but is hit and miss. Wife wakes up constantly from him, just chatting away. I had to install a baby gate on his doorway as he just goes off and plays in the lounge by himself or tries to open the front door to look for the moon.

 

[zip66]

@maxinvasion Have you sought out professional help form a sleep coach? What books/resources have you read or used?

 

[katrina2017]

@maxinvasion Probably a stupid question here from a non-dad, but why don't you put her to bed later? I mean, if she's in bed at 7 and wakes a 3, she's gotten 8 hours sleep. How long do you expect her to sleep?