@hollyroller7 Thank you, that’s helpful. I’ve been blaming myself for feeding to sleep and assuming it’s the cause of the problem because I so often see it described as a ‘negative sleep association’
How do I break feeding to sleep association?
- Thread starter allfree15
- Start date
hollyroller7
New member
@allfree15 Definitely don’t blame yourself! Just think of how biologically normal it is - it’s a great hack to get babies to sleep!
@hollyroller7 Thank you so much 
robbentley
New member
@allfree15 We never really did and gently weaned after 2. We were lucky that BFing was the consistent easy way to get him to sleep. If it wasn’t time for BF we could use a carrier to rock him or go for a walk in the pram, then transfer him to bed
I never worried about it and just followed what felt natural for us
I never worried about it and just followed what felt natural for us
beyondamazin
New member
@allfree15 I did that with my baby until she weaned after one year! It was the only way to get her down and for some this is totally normal! I was worried about her teeth/mouth hygiene and spoke with a dentist about it. He reassured me by letting me know that the lactose in cows milk isn’t good to have on teeth all night, but breast milk wasn’t an issue. Hang in there, sleep can be really tough for you and little one but it gets better.
@beyondamazin Thank you! How did you go weaning her? How did she change the way she went to sleep?
beyondamazin
New member
@allfree15 My goal was to breastfeed for a year and we were able to make that bench mark…after that, I started introducing cow’s milk during one of my normal breast feeding times. I forget how many times I was breast feeding per day at that time…but if it was 6 I subbed one milk bottle in the middle of the day (not at a nap time) first. I slowly cut back feedings one by one until I only had morning feed and bedtime feed left…one morning she didn’t try to nurse so I didn’t offer and we went about our morning. One night it was raining and I was snuggling her before bed and she just fell asleep….and that was it
I think this is close to the “baby led weaning” that I had been reading. To keep our night time routine, we give her cow’s milk during bedtime (still!) and brush teeth afterwards. Brushing teeth after cows milk is also a challenge so don’t worry about that too much right away! I know the goal is always to get the baby to sleep! Dentist said we could give the baby (after 1) a little water after the cows milk to help rinse the teeth if a brush isn’t viable at that age.
That’s the weaning side - getting her to sleep was a struggle at times. We just got more vigilant about using our hatch light to give visual indicators of : bath time, pj’s, milk time, teeth, story time, snuggles, mom out the door. We just did our best following sleep training advice without having the heart for cry it out.
Hope this is some help…it takes a while but having the consistent schedule helped us and she’s much better about it all now. Every baby is a little different, I hope yours lets you and her sleep soon! Hang in there it does get better
I think this is close to the “baby led weaning” that I had been reading. To keep our night time routine, we give her cow’s milk during bedtime (still!) and brush teeth afterwards. Brushing teeth after cows milk is also a challenge so don’t worry about that too much right away! I know the goal is always to get the baby to sleep! Dentist said we could give the baby (after 1) a little water after the cows milk to help rinse the teeth if a brush isn’t viable at that age.
That’s the weaning side - getting her to sleep was a struggle at times. We just got more vigilant about using our hatch light to give visual indicators of : bath time, pj’s, milk time, teeth, story time, snuggles, mom out the door. We just did our best following sleep training advice without having the heart for cry it out.
Hope this is some help…it takes a while but having the consistent schedule helped us and she’s much better about it all now. Every baby is a little different, I hope yours lets you and her sleep soon! Hang in there it does get better
@beyondamazin Thank you so much for sharing this 
beyondamazin
New member
@allfree15 My pleasure! You’re doing a great job mama
@allfree15 I used to be so concerned that feeding my son to sleep would make him a terrible sleeper. We did have to do some cry it out when he just wouldn't let us put him down in the crib, no matter how long we rocked, nursed, whatever. Honestly, I don't remember now if that was while he was still nursing or once he weaned (led by me) at 15 months. He's now 2 and is an amazing sleeper. Don't make it a problem until it is a problem. I know that's easier said than done though.
@allfree15 Just keep trying drowsy but awake. Eventually it’ll work. In the meantime, if it doesn’t work the first time, I’d feed to sleep next
allison55667
New member
@allfree15 We fed to sleep from about 4 months to 12 months and around then our ped started to suggest we shouldn’t because of the impact of the milk on her teeth over night. Her suggestion was to feed, then give pacifier or feed then give water in a bottle instead of milk. The water advice may not be helpful since your baby is younger but we did have to feed to get our daughter to go back to sleep for quite some time (she didn’t sleep thru the night until almost 9 months). Anecdotally, your baby will return to sleeping thru the night and sometimes you have to do whatever gets you there safely, the regression will pass. But from a science based stand point, I’d offer the advice of my pediatrician which was move the last feeding of the night up a bit which may take a few days/week(s) and sub in a pacifier.
lionheartiv
New member
@allfree15 Ok hear me out: earplugs. (Hahah pun not intended)
Cry it out in my mind is messed up. I could never leave my baby cry alone. But the crying you’re hearing, while you rock her, knowing that she is fed, clean, are not cries for a need. Her needs are met. She’s protesting. You will have to break the feed to sleep association one way or another and you’re better off to do it earlier than later (I finally figured earplugs out at ~2 years and it was hell)
Although I would wait until she’s night weaned so that you’re not going through breaking the association only to reinforce it during the night.
Cry it out in my mind is messed up. I could never leave my baby cry alone. But the crying you’re hearing, while you rock her, knowing that she is fed, clean, are not cries for a need. Her needs are met. She’s protesting. You will have to break the feed to sleep association one way or another and you’re better off to do it earlier than later (I finally figured earplugs out at ~2 years and it was hell)
Although I would wait until she’s night weaned so that you’re not going through breaking the association only to reinforce it during the night.
@lionheartiv Seconding this. I have a sensory processing disorder and I wear sound dampening earbuds A LOT. When my now 5mo was a week old I bought workjob earmuffs for the change table because he always cried during changes, and he'd hit this frequency where I could feel it in my eardrum and I was genuinely worried about a rupture. I've clocked him at 87db.
OP, when your baby is stressed, she needs to borrow your calm nervous system to regulate. She needs your breathing to be even, your heart rate to be slow, and your voice to be low and calm. Personally, I am not capable of this without earplugs. Wearing them doesn't mean I don't care or I'm ignoring him, it's a tool so that I am equipped to provide him with the comfort he needs.
My baby still usually nurses to sleep, but he's EBF so occasionally his dad puts him to sleep and he obviously doesn't nurse then. And I've managed to re-settle him without nursing once or twice, if it's very soon after first putting him down after a big feed. But mainly I'm not fussed about it because I'm lucky to have a long maternity leave so it's still working for us for now.
OP, when your baby is stressed, she needs to borrow your calm nervous system to regulate. She needs your breathing to be even, your heart rate to be slow, and your voice to be low and calm. Personally, I am not capable of this without earplugs. Wearing them doesn't mean I don't care or I'm ignoring him, it's a tool so that I am equipped to provide him with the comfort he needs.
My baby still usually nurses to sleep, but he's EBF so occasionally his dad puts him to sleep and he obviously doesn't nurse then. And I've managed to re-settle him without nursing once or twice, if it's very soon after first putting him down after a big feed. But mainly I'm not fussed about it because I'm lucky to have a long maternity leave so it's still working for us for now.
@lionheartiv This is great advice. OP, there’s tons of advice here on how you should or shouldn’t sleep train. Ultimately the only way is to soothe baby without food. You’ll find what works for you. This is a great suggestion during that time. Please remember that sometimes they truly are just hungry so if soothing in on their way doesn’t work in a set amount of time (say 5 minutes. Really whatever you decide) it’s probably time to feed to sleep and try again next time.
lionheartiv
New member
and yes, totally this. When we were breaking the feed-to-sleep cycle my son was a bit older so the deal was he could nurse until full and if he wanted more he could have milk from a cup but obviously this is unrealistic before a certain age haha.julius_cyrano
New member
@allfree15 I think you should join r/sleeptrain! Really, it's a great place with lots of helpful advice. Sleep training is not all the same as Cry it Out (which is just one method of training) you'll find a lot of folks there who have used gentle/ gradual methods to improve their babies' sleep habits.
Personally I recommend the book Precious Little Sleep by Alexis Dubieff, has some good advice for what works at different ages, and the science to back it up. There's a great FB group for the book too, with advice from the author.
Personally I recommend the book Precious Little Sleep by Alexis Dubieff, has some good advice for what works at different ages, and the science to back it up. There's a great FB group for the book too, with advice from the author.
ibanezgirl1227
New member
@allfree15 I love nursing to sleep but my 9 mo just got her first tooth so we need to begin brushing before sleep. How do i start incorporating that into the routine?
elizabeda777
New member
@ibanezgirl1227 I’d always heard direct breastfeeding was ok? That it’s the pooling in the mouth from bottle feeding that is the risk to teeth…
https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/resources/breastfeeding-and-tooth-decay#:~:text=When%20a%20baby%20falls%20asleep%20at%20the%20breast%2C%20no%20milk,to%20sleep%20causes%20tooth%20decay.
https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/resources/breastfeeding-and-tooth-decay#:~:text=When%20a%20baby%20falls%20asleep%20at%20the%20breast%2C%20no%20milk,to%20sleep%20causes%20tooth%20decay.