rainysunflower
New member
Hello! I’ve been wanting to write this for a while.
I’m 37, mom to our angel of a toddler who is 2, and dad is 36.
What’s holding us back: we prize balance (husband more than myself) and the half of the year that is wildly busy for my husband at work can be hard to keep the family intimacy that is so good for everyone’s mental health. I’m a SAHM who largely runs the house myself. I had been planning to switch careers and go back to work ft but motherhood has been so incredible that I have really taken to being a sahm mom and am feeling the pressure of my ticking clock to either go for it now and try for another baby and revisit career goals (honestly I’m not very career driven anymore!) or completely shelve the idea. Note: we are financially ok and own a home but we don’t like frivolously.
I know the newborn phase will be hard, but our question is more so geared towards a long view of having a family of 4 vs 3 vis a vis the overall harmony of the family unit at the different life stages of the kids. What’s it like being a family of 4 when the kiddos are 2 and 5, 5 and 8, 8 and 11?? Etc… what are the dynamics in the family/ between siblings at those differing developmental phases?
We know so much depends on the child that fate delivers you, so perhaps I’d find your anecdotes about your second child (their personality, how they changed or added to your family dynamic) to be great food for thought.
We would have another in a heartbeat if we were not such tentative people who have our primary concern with mental health, building a tranquil and nurturing home for everyone who lives within it, and a generally healthy emotional life for all involved.
Also: Our boy is thriving, open to other children, patient and present, affectionate. Has some terrible two melt downs when overtired (ie: I want the poop back in my diaper! When changed - haha!) but we communicate well with him and we’re lucky that he has a calm and generally very receptive manner about him. He sleeps well. He is almost potty trained.
I’m 37, mom to our angel of a toddler who is 2, and dad is 36.
What’s holding us back: we prize balance (husband more than myself) and the half of the year that is wildly busy for my husband at work can be hard to keep the family intimacy that is so good for everyone’s mental health. I’m a SAHM who largely runs the house myself. I had been planning to switch careers and go back to work ft but motherhood has been so incredible that I have really taken to being a sahm mom and am feeling the pressure of my ticking clock to either go for it now and try for another baby and revisit career goals (honestly I’m not very career driven anymore!) or completely shelve the idea. Note: we are financially ok and own a home but we don’t like frivolously.
I know the newborn phase will be hard, but our question is more so geared towards a long view of having a family of 4 vs 3 vis a vis the overall harmony of the family unit at the different life stages of the kids. What’s it like being a family of 4 when the kiddos are 2 and 5, 5 and 8, 8 and 11?? Etc… what are the dynamics in the family/ between siblings at those differing developmental phases?
We know so much depends on the child that fate delivers you, so perhaps I’d find your anecdotes about your second child (their personality, how they changed or added to your family dynamic) to be great food for thought.
We would have another in a heartbeat if we were not such tentative people who have our primary concern with mental health, building a tranquil and nurturing home for everyone who lives within it, and a generally healthy emotional life for all involved.
Also: Our boy is thriving, open to other children, patient and present, affectionate. Has some terrible two melt downs when overtired (ie: I want the poop back in my diaper! When changed - haha!) but we communicate well with him and we’re lucky that he has a calm and generally very receptive manner about him. He sleeps well. He is almost potty trained.