How did my mom do it

[dekta09]

@j2019 I’ve never seen my mom rest, but I do remember her doing laundry in the middle of the night. So that’s how.

 

[dutchposter]

@j2019 For some people (then and now and forevermore) housekeeping is their hobby, so there will always be spotless houses. Except you could probably only compare a couple dozen to your own. Now we compare thousands of strangers’ houses to our own through social media.

The “village” back then may have been present, but it also was dangerous and we have survivorship bias. Kids were allowed to be outside unsupervised or go to neighbors’ houses who may not know the parents. Parents were encouraged to let their babies cry it out, but now we are aware of the long term impact of cortisol production in children. Also food, air, water, even media was different, as is how we consume it and how much attention is paid to it.

 

[cantgiveup]

@j2019 My mom didn't work. Our house was spotless. She still is relentless about everything being in order.

She says things to me all the time about my house, laundry etc. I have to remind her that my DH and I work full time. Our house is clean and safe. But it is lived in!

 

[christianmentor1]

@j2019 Agree with everything said by others and want to add that parents - both Moms and Dads spend a LOT more time with their kids. Yes kids can be over scheduled but also just we spend more time playing with them, etc. My Mom was a SAHM and she rarely played with us except when we were on vacation.

 

[samarami]

@j2019 What was your mom’s schedule as a nurse? Did she work the typical 3 shifts a week? Because that leaves you with two full days where the kids are in school to get stuff done!!!!

Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m right there with you in being overwhelmed and exhausted at all times.

 

[j2019]

@samarami I’m talking the before school starts toddler days! She did 3 12s plus OT. Once we were in school she went to a private practice and did M-F 40 hour work week.

 

[samarami]

@j2019 Oh geez. Then my only explanation is that she is built different. I say that jokingly but also just different people have different thresholds for stress, and that’s okay. I think the vast majority of working moms feel exactly like you do. I know for sure that I do! Moms like yours are the unicorns. They exist, but it’s not the norm.

 

[j2019]

@samarami I really think she is this unicorn. A lot of her friends comment on how the never stops. She also cared for / is still caring for her aging parents. She tells me two cups of coffee and she can do anything. I’m beginning to realize maybe she wasn’t the norm and it’s okay if I don’t live up to that. It’s hard because she’s my only example!

 

[neal000]

@j2019 My mom had 4 kids born in 5 years and worked in a factory and our house was always clean. Really, once we we were old enough to go to school, we were old enough to pick up after ourselves.