@katrina2017 My mom has been the caretaker for her parents since she was 25. I have no clue how she managed them as well.
How did my mom do it
- Thread starter j2019
- Start date
@j2019 There’s a lot of interesting social commentary on this thread and good points made, but as an aside OP have you had your iron levels checked? Anemia is extremely common among women and will make you feel absolutely exhausted. Might be worth seeing a doctor to make sure there isn’t something else going on!
@nigellane I do have a history of low iron. My counts have been really good lately though. I was almost sure this was the culprit and it could quickly fix it but it’s not!
alecdifrawi
New member
@alecdifrawi I grew up in a house that had a playroom and garage full of toys. My son has a small corner of our living room for his toys. I definitely had more stuff.
kalulabelle
New member
@j2019 So I read through your post and honestly I would get a full panel of blood work done especially all of the thyroid hormones. My thyroid went right after kids and this is how I felt. I was barely functioning, had no energy and would wake up and promptly need a nap.
Make sure you're prioritizing eating healthy and sleep. Eating healthy is so important and it could be a factor in the exhaustion. The other thing you might want to consider is low level depression - it can cause this type of tiredness and lack of interest in life. When you say you feel like you're drowning -- what exactly does that mean? Is it the household tasks? The child care tasks? Maybe really start thinking about what is making you feel this way so you can slowly start to address it. Your mom sounds like she is an extreme extrovert and gets energy from helping other people. You could just be the opposite and need quiet, alone time to recharge. Mothers never get that so that will make it worse.
Make sure you're prioritizing eating healthy and sleep. Eating healthy is so important and it could be a factor in the exhaustion. The other thing you might want to consider is low level depression - it can cause this type of tiredness and lack of interest in life. When you say you feel like you're drowning -- what exactly does that mean? Is it the household tasks? The child care tasks? Maybe really start thinking about what is making you feel this way so you can slowly start to address it. Your mom sounds like she is an extreme extrovert and gets energy from helping other people. You could just be the opposite and need quiet, alone time to recharge. Mothers never get that so that will make it worse.
pacersrock44
New member
@j2019 Well my mom’s secret was a lovely dose of Mania every once in a while. But your husband is kind of right about the computer screen , I work a hybrid job and the days when I’m locked to my computer are the worst. I try to wander more in the office and look away from my screen. Maybe consider a walking pad at home and going outside on your breaks. I know it sounds so cliche but it really does help just to break up the day.
infomommax
New member
nateprazuch
New member
@j2019 Could be a sedentary job versus her having a job on her feet alot. It may seem opposite, that she would be exhausted, but your body gets used to the activity and more activity overall give you more energy than sitting much of the day. My partner is a mechanic and has way more energy overall from moving and lifting all day than I do with being a teacher with less time on my feet.
Could also be diet and exercise. If she was cooking with healthier ingredients and fresh food that may have helped her to have more energy.
Could also be diet and exercise. If she was cooking with healthier ingredients and fresh food that may have helped her to have more energy.
@erikaga28 Yes, absolutely.
@j2019 She/they didn't have social media. Television Shows were only 30 minutes long. The population of the USA was a lot smaller so travel/commute times weren't as bad.
So of those 3 things I mentioned at least 2 are controllable by you. Get off the internet. Seriously spend 6 weeks screen free and you will be so suprised how much you get done.
So of those 3 things I mentioned at least 2 are controllable by you. Get off the internet. Seriously spend 6 weeks screen free and you will be so suprised how much you get done.
@j2019 I think there’s a few things at play here:
1. Not as many distractions. I grew up in the 80s and the early to mid 90s. There was limited technology. When I woke up on Saturday mornings, I had no phone to scroll through and no social media to check for hours on end. All I had was my book collection to distract me. That meant I was more productive to help around the house, and my mom had little to no distractions as well.
2. Kids had more home responsibilities and less activities. I was a latch key kid to a single mom. She would prep a casserole (with me helping) the night prior. When I got home from school I had to call her at work to let her know I was home and safe. Then, at 4:30 ish I was expected to put the casserole in the oven so that it would be ready around the time she got home from work and we would eat at the table. It was also expected to have my homework done before she got home and I could save anything I needed help with for her.
This also goes back to lack of distractions. I had no phone to zone out on and forget what my expectations were.
Saturday mornings were clean the house in the morning days. Again, once I was up I had nothing to distract me. I was expected to clean my room, gather all my laundry, clean the bathroom with my brother (we shared a bathroom). Once a month I had to wash down my walls and baseboards. Once it was done and inspected, I got my allowance and my mom would drive us to the mall and I would buy a new book.
I had chores during the week that were enforced. My brother did trash duty. I did dishes after dinner.
He cut the grass and once he left for college, it became my chore as well. I didn’t feel used or overworked. I understood that as a family we work together to make our home nice.
Fast forward to now - I lay in bed on Saturday mornings and read on my phone (mostly Reddit lol) for a solid hour. I don’t have “Saturday chores day” like I did growing up. We are empty nesters now so we just do whatever whenever, but I look back fondly on my structured childhood and wonder sometimes why my house isn’t as clean as when I grew up and why I feel like I don’t have enough time. The answer is in my hands.
1. Not as many distractions. I grew up in the 80s and the early to mid 90s. There was limited technology. When I woke up on Saturday mornings, I had no phone to scroll through and no social media to check for hours on end. All I had was my book collection to distract me. That meant I was more productive to help around the house, and my mom had little to no distractions as well.
2. Kids had more home responsibilities and less activities. I was a latch key kid to a single mom. She would prep a casserole (with me helping) the night prior. When I got home from school I had to call her at work to let her know I was home and safe. Then, at 4:30 ish I was expected to put the casserole in the oven so that it would be ready around the time she got home from work and we would eat at the table. It was also expected to have my homework done before she got home and I could save anything I needed help with for her.
This also goes back to lack of distractions. I had no phone to zone out on and forget what my expectations were.
Saturday mornings were clean the house in the morning days. Again, once I was up I had nothing to distract me. I was expected to clean my room, gather all my laundry, clean the bathroom with my brother (we shared a bathroom). Once a month I had to wash down my walls and baseboards. Once it was done and inspected, I got my allowance and my mom would drive us to the mall and I would buy a new book.
I had chores during the week that were enforced. My brother did trash duty. I did dishes after dinner.
He cut the grass and once he left for college, it became my chore as well. I didn’t feel used or overworked. I understood that as a family we work together to make our home nice.
Fast forward to now - I lay in bed on Saturday mornings and read on my phone (mostly Reddit lol) for a solid hour. I don’t have “Saturday chores day” like I did growing up. We are empty nesters now so we just do whatever whenever, but I look back fondly on my structured childhood and wonder sometimes why my house isn’t as clean as when I grew up and why I feel like I don’t have enough time. The answer is in my hands.
christianbikerg
New member
@j2019 She didn't have Internet... Kidding, but I think a lot of the effects of email and Internet have been to push some forms of labor back onto parents that was less intensive back then. Think about signing up for swim lessons--making an account online, getting the right time, checking out vs back in the day calling the Parks Department or just showing up to put your name on the paper signup. And obviously dealing with customer service has gotten more intensive now (Bot, find me a person!!!)
These are devices that are meant to save us time and do, but also create other work. NOT saying we should go back (I am on Reddit after all) but some of these improvements have been complex.
These are devices that are meant to save us time and do, but also create other work. NOT saying we should go back (I am on Reddit after all) but some of these improvements have been complex.
joint_praise
New member
@christianbikerg I think it’s also the cause of lost time for most of us. Tv and phones are great distractions. I just did preschool drop off and am sitting here in my toasty car scrolling through Reddit for 20 min before I go in to start my work day. Could I have emptied the dishwasher and put away laundry with that time? Absolutely. It’s too easy to open an app and scroll and spend the time that could be spent cleaning and cooking to decompress a little. While I know this, it won’t change my behavior.
christianbikerg
New member
@joint_praise Yes. And the Internet brings community, but community requires participation.
