To start, I’m 8 weeks pregnant and have gone through multiple rounds of IVF to get here. After a couple of losses we finally have a baby that seems to want to stick around. We are thrilled. It’s also a high risk pregnancy due to some health conditions I have.
That being said, my mom keeps asking when my due date is even though I’ve told her I won’t have one until I’m out of my reproductive endos office and into a regular OBGYN. Today I stupidly told her I didn’t have an exact date but it would probably be early August and she immediately started talking about how she would need to fly in mid July to be here for my baby’s birth. She’s a labor and delivery nurse and has been for 30+ years so this is kind of her thing.
However, I do not want her here for the birth. I want that time for my husband and I to bond with our baby. Not worry about also taking care of my mom and where she’s going to stay and accommodating her wants/desires. We won’t have space for her either. We have a 2 bedroom townhouse and don’t want her leaving her shit everywhere or trying to take over our baby’s room. And I know she’s going to be super vocal about every little thing, whether it be how the doctor is doing something or how that’s not the way she does it at her hospital. I love my mom and we are close but I just can’t imagine being a FTM and trying to balance that along with her constant “helpful remarks” because she thinks she knows best. I know it comes from a good place in her heart but I also know she’s going to make me crazy. Normally when she visits I’m losing my mind by day 3. And I know once this baby is born she will also expect to stay for at least 2 weeks, if not longer.
Have any of you dealt with similar? How did you tell your mom you didn’t want her there?
That being said, my mom keeps asking when my due date is even though I’ve told her I won’t have one until I’m out of my reproductive endos office and into a regular OBGYN. Today I stupidly told her I didn’t have an exact date but it would probably be early August and she immediately started talking about how she would need to fly in mid July to be here for my baby’s birth. She’s a labor and delivery nurse and has been for 30+ years so this is kind of her thing.
However, I do not want her here for the birth. I want that time for my husband and I to bond with our baby. Not worry about also taking care of my mom and where she’s going to stay and accommodating her wants/desires. We won’t have space for her either. We have a 2 bedroom townhouse and don’t want her leaving her shit everywhere or trying to take over our baby’s room. And I know she’s going to be super vocal about every little thing, whether it be how the doctor is doing something or how that’s not the way she does it at her hospital. I love my mom and we are close but I just can’t imagine being a FTM and trying to balance that along with her constant “helpful remarks” because she thinks she knows best. I know it comes from a good place in her heart but I also know she’s going to make me crazy. Normally when she visits I’m losing my mind by day 3. And I know once this baby is born she will also expect to stay for at least 2 weeks, if not longer.
Have any of you dealt with similar? How did you tell your mom you didn’t want her there?