@acedeck I work with kids that have been abused. Every single one of them was from a family member or family friend. Its actually uncommon for it to be someone they don't know/by someone who doesn't think they can influence them not to say anything.
For me it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I say that because i wouldn't leave my child with them anyway, and wouldn't have my child unsupervised while playing in the front yard, access would be almost impossible for them, they live with family, chances are they will move at some point, yes he's on the registry but do you have any idea how many more abusers are out there that never get caught? Or do just enough that they can't be legally punished?
Its astounding. To me, whether a neighbour is on a registry or not, it wouldn't make a difference, in my line of work, you view pretty much everyone as a possible threat and act accordingly
@goldcoincollector This offender didn’t target people in his circles. But yeah, I do know how many perverts are out there and how few get caught :/ Part of the reason we’re considering the house still is that (1) the crimes were non-violent and didn’t involve touching, and (2) we know of much sicker perverts walking the street who aren’t registered.
@acedeck I’m confused about all the people saying “deal breaker.” So many neighborhoods are blanketed in sex offenders on family watchdog, and those are the ones that are caught.
@acedeck I'd still definitely consider him a threat but i would consider most strangers a threat as well. I think as long as your vigilant then its ok but also he likely won't be there forever
@acedeck I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and I had to live in the same street as my abuser for years. I did not enjoy it, to put it mildly.
That said, I’m not sure if it would be a dealbreaker. Take that from someone who would [I can’t write this stuff on the internet] anyone who would even dare think about putting a finger on my baby. I’m already very vigilant and so is my partner. Rule number one, don’t trust anybody. I think what’s more important is to explain to kids (regularly and in age appropriate language) what is okay, what isn’t, and when to seek help. Offenders are everywhere unfortunately, registered or not, and while you’re neighbor-proofing your home your kid could be approached online or at school or by a close family member; which is why awareness and honesty are much more important IMO. The point is not to be paranoid, but to be aware and to know that the dangers exist, just like when crossing the street.
A good price, otherwise good neighborhood, close to schools / friends / family, etc might be more valuable and important; I’d consider it if it’s otherwise a very good option. Just like I’d live next to a crossroad.
@acedeck I wouldn’t want to risk my children or their safety no matter how good of a deal that house is or how good of an area that house is in. Nothing would be worth putting my kids in danger. I wouldn’t move my kids into a house next to a pedo if it were free.
Even if he isn’t some creep, (which imo he obviously is!) do you really want to risk that? This house might be “wonderful” but ask yourself is a “wonderful” home worth my child/future children potentially being a victim of SA?
Answer: HELL NO! Bye not-so wonderful home…. On to the next, Thank you!!!!
@acedeck It wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me. Use it as leverage for further price reduction, educate your kids as they get older and keep an eye on them.
Let’s be real; at least this sex offender is registered as you know about them. Most people aren’t aware of the sex offenders that live around them because they haven’t been caught…
@acedeck What is this question? Yes that’s a dealbreaker. I’m sure it’s a good house but there are lots of other houses out there. Putting your child so close to a known risk is not worth any house
@acedeck Not a dealbreaker at all. It’s a nonviolent crime and it’s not the type of crime that I would call pathological as another commenter did. There’s no reason to believe from what you e wrote the person will reoffend or escalate. I’ve worked with juvenile sex offenders before and I believe in rehabilitation because I’ve seen it. I’d be more vigilant with my child playing outside and have clear boundaries with the neighbors.
@acedeck Deal breaker but if you do decide to go for anyway then definitely tell your child about this person. When I was a kid my mom told me where the sex offenders in the neighborhood lived and I never rode my bike near that street and I knew what the person looked like.
@acedeck Not a deal breaker. When I look at the registered offenders map for areas where I've lived there's a dot every few blocks. Being near one seems unavoidable. I currently live across the street from one. My childhood home had one across the street as well. Unfortunately, it's very common.
@acedeck I personally wouldn’t want to live there. I have a son and I wouldn’t want to expose him to such a person. He was convicted for one thing, but you can never know the extent of his offending or if he will ever reoffend. It’s also worth noting that regardless of if I had children I would find it difficult to interact with this man as a neighbour and I wouldn’t want the worry of trying to avoid him either because of my feelings about such people. I just simply wouldn’t buy a house knowing a neighbour is going to cause me anxiety or anger.
@acedeck Deal breaker. There's a reason why it's priced 'right'. Yes, I know kids are more likely to be abused by someone they know but I would just walk away.
@acedeck Not a deal breaker for me. I know a few guys that got screwed in the early days of the internet by small but illegal age gaps. Teens take nudes like it's their job these days. I don't think the punishment always fits the crime.
