How do you find the energy to keep up around the house after the kids go to bed?

[eyes4grandpa]

@mae88 I’m in a very similar boat to you, but our two older kids are 5 and 9. My best advice is to learn to let go. Laundry is always going to be behind and toys will always be everywhere. Not worth stressing over, and instead relax and spend time with your wife when you can. Good news though, your oldest is approaching a good age to start assigning chores!

 

[kazimrmerchant]

@mae88 We don't. It's bad. Our house is a disaster. I think my wife is starting to hoard a little bit too, and I just can't keep up with it all.

 

[italian]

@mae88 I have one year old twins, and the answer to that question, at least in our house is “That’s the neat part, you don’t”.

 

[e4rljune]

@mae88 For energy, I started weightlifting over my lunch hour. The daily workout seemed to skyrocket my energy, and carry me through the night .

I do one cleaning chore like dishes or vacuuming when the kids come home from school.

I pull the whole “ you can stay up 10 minutes late tonight but only if you help pick up for 5 minutes “ then set a timer. Even if they pick up shoes and clothes and get those where they need to go, it helps. Then when you’re done with bedtime you’re like half done.

 

[katrina2017]

@mae88 Keep looking forward to whatever your vice is once they’re all settled.

 

[pochrist]

@mae88 It's small and simple, but putting things back when you're done using them works wonders.

 

[jamesjohnsonjr1]

@mae88 For starters I’m 28, but mostly willpower is how I do anything after he goes to bed lol. I also do chores on my lunch

 

[trouverun]

@mae88 We get our kids to bed around 730-8pm. One of us will tackle the kitchen. If I cook, she'll clean the kitchen and vice versa. The one that isn't cleaning the kitchen tackles the living room. Typically we can get both done in 10-15 minutes. We've gotten pretty efficient at it. We have a 6 yo daughter and a 2 yo son and we both work typical hours. My wife usually has a day off during the week, both kids in school/daycare and I'm at work. She'll do a deep clean while everyone is away

 

[ps374me]

@mae88

1. Abandon perfectionism (most important step)
2. Get into hot chocolate. A little bit of caffeine but not enough to interfere with sleep

 

[jubida]

@mae88 Certain areas I occasionally pick up the same day, some areas that are kinda off beaten path usually stay messy for a few days and I have kids help me clean those. It could be a couple days before I pick up a single thing aside from a the kitchen nor do a load of laundry, sometimes done same day. Go with the flow and remain opportunistic. Surprised your wife has made it this long without “breaking” so to speak, woman of integrity there.

 

[jezj]

@mae88 Having kids means never-ending laundry, dishes and cleaning for the next 18 years. You’ll never get fully caught up, so don’t try. Just do what you can and learn to accept your new reality.

 

[blackhickchick]

@mae88 Clean when you can, try your best. If you get it to look perfect one time just remember its not gonna last long lol

 

[peterrajum]

@mae88 It’s chaos, I do 30ish mins every night before bed to wind down, and try to clean/pick up the kitchen as I’m cooking. Pick some tasks and do them regularly so she doesn’t claim mental burden from even thinking about it.

 

[henriettevann]

@mae88 I have mania.

 

[allenosuno]

@mae88 I just lower my standards as to what is acceptable amount of mess until I can play video games.

 

[atperry3]

@mae88 Tried getting the older kids to help with cleanup at all?

 

[bejhiyah]

@mae88 We try to get everything cleaned and sorted after dinner and before bed. A daily reset.

Since the little one was 3 we had him work on cleaning his own mess and help us clean as a way to learn.

This helped when the second one came, we are trying to teach the little one now that she is 3.

We have a rule, no relaxing until we are cleaned up and sorted....so we get stuff sorted faster we turn cleaning and sorting as a fun family activity. Keeps us sane..I think

 

[bladkins03]

@mae88 We only have one kid, so I know it’s easier, but here’s things we’ve done.

His toys and all get cleaned up as part of the bedtime routine. We did that from the very beginning and it’s now just part of my son’s routine. He’s 9 now and he just does it without prompting most nights. He even knows that if he wants to play video games with dad after dinner that he needs to have everything cleaned up and will do it before he even asks me. He’s even gotten into the habit of cleaning up a big mess toy (like his Hot Wheel tracks) before switching to another toy because he doesn’t want to have an hour of cleanup at night before bed.

We tend to do dishes in the morning. We use the dishwasher. Run it after dinner, get the kid situated with breakfast in the morning, and then unload it while he eats.

And we started doing “Saturday chores” when my son was about 6. Before that it was hit or miss whether things got done unless we were having company. But we have a list of chores like sweep the kitchen, vacuum, clean bathrooms, dust the living room, etc that are just the things that need to be done every week. My son is expected to do two things on that list on Saturdays before he can get any screen time (and if he skips it on Saturday, he loses screen time on Sunday too). He’s been told when he turns 10 later this year that he’ll be expected to do three, which will get him to where my wife and I are. But we’ve eased him up over the last few years.

We’ve tried to emphasize the responsibility that comes with things. Having things like toys to play with or a house to live in means taking care of them by cleaning them up. Being part of a family means helping each other out. Etc.

 

[tomline]

@mae88 I don't have kids of my own, but I work as an in home therapist with neurodiverse kids. More than once I've had a client with siblings and part of their life skill program is learning to "clean up". One client had two siblings (5 and 3 yo) and they would join us for clean up. I'd play the clean up song and dance with them supervising. Basically they just had to throw all toys in the basket, all clothes in the hamper, and trash in the trash can. Each day I'd rotate those tasks and reward them on a board. You don't have to establish such an elaborated system, but what I'm saying is, two of your kids are old enough to clean up their own toys and you can start creating some structure or ways for them to make if a habit. After all, if they wanna play, they can clean up after themselves.

 

[beelake]

@mae88 I get about 5 hrs of sleep at night, always have always will. Makes it much easier to stay on top of thingss but realise it's not much use to you.