Going on runs when children are home? Making time?

[thyron291]

Hi There!

I 35M am a full-time single dad to my twins (9 m/f).

Looking for advice on how to train for a marathon while balancing the children at home.

My current routine: I usually run 6-7 miles on the treadmill + workout in my basement every morning. I usually only get to go on an extensive outdoor run when the kids are at a sleepover. Sometimes when it's nice on the weekends they will ride their bikes alongside me (super fun!).

Obviously training for a marathon on a treadmill is impossible (well frankly miserable), and I would like to incorporate more extensive outdoor runs into my routine. At what age did you start leaving your kids alone? I considered going on a run at 4/4:30 am while they are still sleeping but it makes me nervous what would happen if there was an emergency.

Thanks for the advice!

 

[sonic_drift]

@thyron291 As a single parent, sometimes, we can't have things both ways. I can't tell you what to do, but there is a lot of sacrifice in the journey. As long as you are getting your exercise in, the marathon might have to wait a few years. And that is ok.

 

[sisterdonna]

@sonic_drift Agreed. I trained for a marathon while deployed. My base was a square mile and being a woman around so many who weren't used to seeing women not fully covered, I quickly discovered running in a treadmill was better than nothing. I got up to 20 miles during training, on the treadmill.

 

[moncala]

@thyron291 I managed to rearrange my working hours to work over 4 days instead of 5. Day off while my son is at school is now my long run day. Would something like that be a possibility for you?
Alternatively maybe you could arrange a weekly playdate swap with some other parents?
I'd be reluctant to leave them at home alone, even if they are sleeping. What if something happened to you while you were out your run?

 

[becknps]

@thyron291 Or what if you get hit by a car? Probably too young, might be illegal.

I run ultras and even did a R2R2R while I was single parent to two toddlers. It was a challenge.

I had to go when they were at daycare during the work day. Then on the weekends they would be at my moms one night a week and I would do a long run that evening and another on the morning after.

There was a guy that ran a 100 miles on his treadmill, pro level athlete.

You can train for a marathon on a treadmill, its not optimal but it is an option.

 

[maryannmaria]

@thyron291 1.) Check the legal age to leave children unattended.

2.) Be sure your child can contact you AND someone else in case of an emergency. (What if you get hit by a car while running or die of a heart attack, for example).

3.) Be sure the space is safe and food/water is provided.

4.) If possible, rearrange your schedule or get a babysitter.

 

[pet54par]

@maryannmaria I might add to this - IF you have a trusted neighbor, fill them in on your plan.

Talk with your kids and have a plan if you are not home by a certain time, they can contact the neighbors and start from there. Always leave them a note on table/counter saying “out for a run, be back by 7!”

I’m lucky enough to have retired neighbors next to me. They know I’m a single mom, so they and my son know if something happens to me (like fall down the stairs lol) my son can run to them for help.

 

[tatestots]

@maryannmaria The have watches for kids now that can text and make phone calls to only predetermined contacts. They also track location. My 9 year old and 6 year old each have one. It even has a 911 option you can turn on or off.

But if you or the kids are at all nervous about it, hire childcare. That's what it's for. If you can't afford that, then just run on the treadmill.

Frankly, I'd be nervous to even do an outdoor long run without another adult to pick me up in case of emergency. What if you feel a twinge? Running your planned distance could cause injury and set you back. I only trained for a half before kids, but I had to call for a ride home a few times. I guess these days there are apps for that.

 

[walla]

@tatestots What kind of watch do you have for your kids? Cuz I want something similar just wondering

 

[susanwood]

@thyron291 Do you know any other runners with kids? Maybe you can do a swap where you watch each others kids while you do your runs.

 

[thyron291]

@susanwood Just started looking into this! Thank you!

 

[marygrace]

@thyron291 I’m a full time single dad to a 10 year old. When I run, I either try to go when he’s still asleep early in the morning (and warn him the night before that I may be out running when he wakes up), or just throw him on electronics and tell him I’ll be home in an hour. Not sure how well that will work when you get closer to marathon time, but for an hour/hour and a half, he does great at home by himself. I always jog with my phone though so he can get ahold of me if needed…

 

[apasarar]

@marygrace Same! I’m not running but I tell my kiddo that I’ll be on a bike ride when he wakes up or leave for 45-60 minutes after he is awake. My son is five , some may argue that’s too young but as a single mom, you have to get the time in when you need it.

 

[ralphieboy]

@apasarar At that age I'd just bring the kiddo along for the ride.

 

[sidah]

@thyron291 I've just started to leave my 9-yo (almost 10) home alone, for short periods of time during the day, when I'm nearby and accessible. Like for example if I need to drive or pick up one of my other kids.

My 16-yo babysits her siblings when I'm away for longer time or overnight.

I'm comfortable leaving my 12-yo alone for up to 8 hrs.

 

[blake2030]

@thyron291 I wouldn’t leave 9 year old kids alone while sleeping. And maybe not at all, depending on their maturity level.

If you need to train, hire a high school student to watch them for a couple of hours on your training days. Don’t leave younger kids alone in the night.

 

[personalquestion]

@thyron291 Are you able to run to commute to work?

 

[spokaneoc]

@thyron291 I use a treadmill in the garage and keep her happy with TV or a tablet, unfortunately no other option for me.

 

[dodise89]

@thyron291 My two are 10 & 11(almost 12). I leave them home together when I go out to the gym or errands, up to 1.5hours. I make sure they are fed (like they've had their dinner or breakfast), they know where I am. They can contact me at any time over the phone and know the neigbours and have our family's contact numbers. We live in a very safe area, the dog is home with them, they are comfortable with the situation. They don't tend to fight, they're usually playing online games with their friends. I would leave the almost 12yo for longer, he is very responsible and independent.

I guess I started leaving them home unsupervised when they were younger than I was comfortable with during covid. We had strict lockdowns and when I had to do groceries the options were either leave them home alone, leave them in the car out the front of the store, or take them into the store with me (we were meant to shop alone).

As a family we are comfortable with periods of time alone unsupervised now. The kids actually enjoy it when I'm not there because I'm not nagging them to clean their room or whatever.

Edited to add: There aren't defined age laws where I live and leaving the kids home unsupervised as I do is normal amoungst their peers.

 

[prettyflowers]

@thyron291 I leave my newly 11 year old home alone to run. We have bought a cellphone that we treat as a Landline. It stays on the charger in a designated location. My husband, myself and the “house phone” have Life360 and I double check that my location is on as I run.
This way if she is scared when she wakes up she can see how long I have been gone and where exactly I’m at.
I’m fortunate to have neighbors who are up early, but stay in to drink their coffee. They’re aware of our routine. Our “house phone” has their phone number and addresses in the contacts. So if anything is off my daughter can text/ call them, if I’m not available.
We also have a code word for our family. So if someone knocks, my daughter knows to not open the door, ask “who is it” then ask for a code word before opening the door. If the person doesn’t respond with the code word, she is to not open the door and call me or dad immediately. We would only share the code word with a trusted neighbor if there was an emergency and we needed them to get ahold of my daughter if we could not.
My husband travels for work a lot, so we have practiced emergency situations often. Such as fire drills, me being unconscious, a break-in or just how to handle 9-1-1. I think the more you discuss this, the better your kids will feel if something’s wrong.