@mogulmama Your husband needs to start defending you and protecting you from your FIL's behavior.
Father in Law wants to change baby’s name so badly
- Thread starter mogulmama
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- in-law post parenting
@mogulmama Your FIL sound like a terrible person.
@mogulmama I told my husband around 6 mos, nobody else knew until after he was born. There was so much drama with his cousin's names. Totally unnecessary unless there's a concern. My maiden name was awful, not spelled how it looks and looks like a gross word, I hated constant clarification and teasing. My first name is short, no nicknames, top 5 when I was born. Unless it's that type of concern it's your child, he can just call him "buddy" or something. And get ready to ignore him being critical of other stuff like clothing and parenting styles.
@mogulmama The good thing is your child will ignore your father in law until he is older and understands he is the one being addressed by this different name. My mother-in-left does not call my child by the nickname he has been called since he was born. She calls him his full first instead and he pats her no attention because he only knows the nickname since we don’t call him by his full name. So your child can’t love him more because they won’t know your terrible FIL is talking to them.
@mogulmama My mom lived away from her family, and her dad announced her first sons name to the rest of her family as “Claude”. It was James.
personguy99
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@mogulmama My own father’s name is your baby’s name. Your FIL is a preposterous narcissistic man.
soldierpearl
New member
@mogulmama I ended up changing my baby’s middle name last minute bc my cousin was mad I didn’t name him that as a first name and insisted she would call him by the middle name for ja first name. Then she was choosing a different way to pronounce it, I told her that’s not how it’s pronounced the name you are insisting on calling him isn’t even that name! I was going to name him Xavier but she wanted to call him Javier… I’m like those are two different names! So I said sadly cut that name that I really loved bc she ruined it. Then she became mad he didn’t have a Mexican name 
btw she is white, baby is half Mexican.
My bf’s family didn’t like my choice of the first name, said it was a last name not a first name. I refused to budge bc the name means something to me it’s not JUST a name.
In the end ignore everyone - it’s your baby, your pregnancy. Don’t let ANYONE ruin that for you! Congrats as well
people should respect your choices for your child.
btw she is white, baby is half Mexican. My bf’s family didn’t like my choice of the first name, said it was a last name not a first name. I refused to budge bc the name means something to me it’s not JUST a name.
In the end ignore everyone - it’s your baby, your pregnancy. Don’t let ANYONE ruin that for you! Congrats as well
people should respect your choices for your child.richardson217
New member
@mogulmama I'm a connoisseur of fine bitchiness, so I'd start calling FIL by a different name. When he asks why, I'd tell him, "Well, I think the name your parents picked for you is stupid, so I'm calling you something else."
@mogulmama I have friends with this name and they were n we very asked this like he needs to get a life
shewmethyglory
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@mogulmama Unless you plan on naming your baby “Ass-hat” and FIL is planning on calling him “Bob” instead to save baby from embarrassment, FIL is totally out of line and sucks.
All the best for your new arrival!
All the best for your new arrival!
@mogulmama This gets said frequently but you don't really have a FIL problem, you have a husband problem. If he hasn't shut that sh*t down so hard your FIL is literally a little afraid to open his mouth about it again, your husband is not doing his damn job.
This is the first of MANY attempts FIL is going to make to try to cross various boundaries you have now and in the future and if the absolute strictest smack down is not laid right now, the behavior will continue and get worse. It's easier to be strict and back off once they've earned your trust. It's impossible the other way around.
The next time he brings it up, your husband needs to ensure you all physically leave his presence and let him know exactly why and that this will continue to happen until he learns his place. It's not worth it trying to keep this guy in your life "because family".
This is the first of MANY attempts FIL is going to make to try to cross various boundaries you have now and in the future and if the absolute strictest smack down is not laid right now, the behavior will continue and get worse. It's easier to be strict and back off once they've earned your trust. It's impossible the other way around.
The next time he brings it up, your husband needs to ensure you all physically leave his presence and let him know exactly why and that this will continue to happen until he learns his place. It's not worth it trying to keep this guy in your life "because family".
mamawithlove
New member
I'm sorry you're dealing with this situation. It's important for you and your husband to feel supported in your decision. It's your baby, and you have every right to choose his name without feeling pressured or disrespected. Have you both considered setting boundaries with your father-in-law to ensure he respects your choices?
As for the nickname, it’s understandable that you’re uncomfortable. Maybe you and your husband can suggest alternative nicknames that feel more appropriate. How do you feel about discussing this together with your husband before addressing it with your father-in-law?
mamawithlove
As for the nickname, it’s understandable that you’re uncomfortable. Maybe you and your husband can suggest alternative nicknames that feel more appropriate. How do you feel about discussing this together with your husband before addressing it with your father-in-law?
mamawithlove