@kimmie55meds i said ill gladly do a sit down but husband believes it should be just between fil and i.
i told my husband the moment fil starts “listening to respond” instead of actually “listening to listen” im leaving the sit down and going home. because this has happened before so im sure itll happen again.
I was team time out at this. Saying the baby will love you less? He can fuck all the way off. He is being petty, disrespectful, and deliberately hurtful. Anyone who speaks to me that way is not welcome in my home. Who else gets to speak to you that way consequence-free?
Your husband can have whatever relationship he wants but, until you get an apology, he doesn’t get to darken your door. He can meet the baby in a public place. Bonus of this: He can’t call the baby by any version of the name you chose? You leave. You can give him 2 or 3 strikes.
He wants to act like a petulant child? Treat him like one.
ETA: Vincent? He’s napalming this bridge over Vincent? I thought it was Leonardo or something more out there for all the disrespect.
@kcidskcussusej my husband doesn’t want to exclude anyone from being able to see the baby when he’s born due to it being unfair.
i told him that there is no fair unfair with a newborn. its a huge life change and family can wait til we’re ready. also, i dont want to have to play host while recovering from labor.
@mogulmama It’s unfair to you’d have to play host when you’re in pain, bleeding, leaking milk and a hormonal mess. It’s unfair to you that your FIL thinks his opinions on your child matters more. It’s unfair to you that your husband refuses to stick up for you and set boundaries with HIS family. You need to have a conversation with your husband about being on your side.
@kcidskcussusej i will not be playing host, people who come visit will be expected to bring food or cook it themselves cause my ass will be on the couch holding my baby
ill let fil still come and visit but the moment he ignores one of our preplanned boundaries in regards to the baby, im making him leave
husband and i will be having a sit down when he comes home from work tomorrow. today is a very tough day personally because 8-21-2023 was my original due date with my last pregnancy.
@mogulmama my in-laws and my mother did something similar. So, my husband and I chose the oldest, ugliest, most exaggerated name we could find...and when they asked for the baby's name, we said that name with all the seriousness in the world. my father-in-law even told us that we couldn't call him that,...we told him that we are the parents and we choose. when we said the other name again no one complained.
@mogulmama Tell him to suck it up buttercup. He had his change to name his kids, and now it’s you and your hubs turn. First make sure that you and hubs are on the same page. You have chosen your name, and you stick to it. Give the fil 3 chances after the birth. If he calls the baby anything other than his given name three times, then tell him he won’t see baby until he can remember his name. I’d also call your fil something ridiculous like Ermintrude every time he misnames the baba but I’m a petty fucker.
@mogulmama Is your FIL under the impression he has some legal right to time with this child? Because he’s sure acting like not seeing the kid isn’t an option.
I don’t think I’d have my baby around someone who treats me this way - family or not. The behaviour they see is the behaviour they learn and I wouldn’t want them believing this sort of behaviour is acceptable.
@mogulmama Vincent imo isn't an offensive name or anything. He can go by Van or Vince.
I'm actually not on the side that this entkr sub reddit is on where I think Grandparents are the anti christ. Vincent Miguel has a nice ring to it, could be his middle name for some compromise.
@mogulmama Commenting again because a lot of people are saying these boundaries should come from your husband. They’re right. They would hold more water if they came from him but your husband is already rug sweeping some pretty atrocious behavior.
If your spouse won’t hold the line, do it yourself. Being a parent means sometimes having to be the bad guy. Practicing on an adult who acts like a child should work.
@billybillyblue it’s difficult for my husband to do so because theres that certain southern upbringing that you don’t disrespect elders or youll get an ass whooping
@mogulmama Elders need to be worth respecting. Existing longer doesn’t give FIL the right to act how he wants. If Hubs won’t do it, stand up for yourself and your kid. Start as you mean to continue.
@mogulmama I am from the south and I can tell you right now, I am suffering absolutely zero fools. I appreciate advice, because I recognize this is our first time, but they need to wait for me to ask, and when I say to knock it off, that best be happening, or they can just not spend time with our family.
but I’m a petty fucker.
