Does sleep training even work?

@hary89 60000% this. Everyone always says not to judge, but there comes a time when someone just leaving their child to cry and scream for literally hours is neglect. If this were to happen in the day, it would be labeled as such. Yes, the exhaustion is horrible. Yes, most parents are doing the best they can with what the media and doctors have said...but there needs to be a time in life when you stop and think for yourself. In every aspect of life, especially when caring for a child. People need to be responsible and stop listening blindly.
 
@nayse This is so crazy to me! How can someone consider leaving a child to cry alone in a room neglect during the day, but the same thing is then no longer neglect because it is night? It is truly baffling.
 
@albys This is my argument! It doesn't make any sense. And everyone I talk to that's tried it (not many tbh) says that it was horrible, and they still have issues later. So....why do it?
 
@hary89 As a cosleeper this is one thing I’m sort of grateful for. Like yeah it would be a hassle if he puked in our shared bed but at least I would immediately know and be able to help.
 
@hary89 Oh how very very sad!!

My son (20 months), went to bed with a surprise fever the other night and ended up waking quite frequently even after he was given Tylenol. At about 1 AM, he cries HARD, so I go in, pick him up, give him a small bottle and he goes back to sleep on my shoulder; about 5 minutes later he throws up on me, himself, the chair. So we clean him up, repeat snuggle to sleep and I go to lay him down and as I’m laying him, I realise his crib mattress is COVERED in vomit! I have no idea how it went unnoticed when I walked in in the beginning but the poor guy clearly originally cried out for me because he threw up.

My mom guilt was high that night. I felt so so terrible. How did I not notice? Was I snuggling him originally covered in throw up? Ugh. Awful.

Anyways, we cleaned him up, and made a floor bed and he and I just snuggled there for the night. Poor boy.

I wrote this because I could never ever imagine coming in the morning to get him up, see vomit and think almost proudly “oh, he didn’t cry for me! Good for him”. Awful.
 
@hary89 One of my friends announced that her little one randomly had an entire surprise molar in her mouth one day and I just felt sad that little baby knew she couldn’t fuss or cry about her pain because she wouldn’t be responded to. 😞
 
@cyberrocky I have a co worker who struggled with sleep with her first baby. Before having a second baby she started training to become a sleep specialist and when the baby arrived she implemented strict schedule, routines and whatever “gentle” sleep training methods she learned and her baby is a great sleeper.
I’ve never said it to her but I really do keeping thinking that she just has a baby who is naturally a better sleeper and feels happier in their own space than the first baby. Strict routines and gentle methods did nothing for my stage five clinger. She is 15 months old, we contact nap (sometimes I can put her down beside me but I can’t leave) and co-sleep and she wakes me every two hours but at least I’m rested and I feel good that I am giving her what she needs
 
@cyberrocky Although I don’t have the numbers to back anything up, I also think that sleep training has a higher failure rate that’s led on. This is based on anecdotal conversations I have with a few people who talk about the multiple regressions they go through.

As an aside, during month 8, our baby girl was teething for the entire month and was in pain - I’m not sure how we could have ignore her cries and just given her meds every night like clockwork until she stopped crying. But I digress.

From the material I come across, multiple sleep training methods push gentle sleep training where there’s controlled crying. However, I tend to see that when parents try it out and it doesn’t work, it’s generally recommended they use full extinction.

I’m not going to personally judge anyone I know who sleep trains nor make comments but it’s difficult for me to empathize with them to leave a baby to cry for an extended period of time, despite how sleep deprived they are.

Life is hard. This is just another one of its challenges.
 
@hary89 Why have the monitor if you ignore the child crying, and then turn it off?? Isn't the point of the monitor that you know when you need to go to the child? Absolutely bonkers
 
@peruss My MIL suggested (more like told me) I should do it on a family holiday. She generously said she’d listen to him cry. Because her daughter had ‘sleep trained’ her son. But all that meant is he cried himself to sleep every night and before every nap. I said no thank you. It’s just because she and my SIL hate that I still contact nap when possible and nurse. He’s only 18 months!
 
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