Cut from track team due to going away for Christmas vacation?

[cuberman]

My 17 year old son (high school senior) wanted to go skiing out west (he is an avid skier since he was a child). I booked us a vacation in Utah at a ski resort where he got to ski while off on Christmas break. We had an amazing winter vacation.

Fast forward, my son tells me today that he was cut from the track team. I ask why - he says because he went on vacation. I asked him if he had told his track coach he’d be away and he said no.

He did say the track coach told him to come back - but the damage is done he says he doesn’t want to go back and deal with the coach. He says he’d rather work instead and is looking for a job.

He also asked to go on a spring break trip with his friends. Since my daughter asked for and got sleep away camp that we paid for for 2 years, I thought it fair he gets a trip in his senior year. I bought his airfare already. I asked him if he’d get cut for going on Spring Break and he said yes.

I never did high school sports - is this how being on a team works? You’re not allowed to be away on school vacation?

Now I feel like a horrible parent that I took him on vacation, not knowing the consequences were that he’d be cut from track team.

Mostly a rant but any advice appreciated. I don’t know if I should go to the guidance counselor or principal asking what the policy is on this. He says other kids were cut for going away as well. Just wondering if this is normal in high school sports?

Update: He had an amazing time on Winter Recess break away for a week in Aruba with kids from his school. He also started a new job yesterday, so it’s a choice he made and he seems to be happy with it. Thanks to all who responded to my post.

 

[gringolobo]

@cuberman May be an unpopular opinion but unless he’s planning to run track in college, he will remember and appreciate the vacations much more. You made the right decision even if you had known.

 

[julia13]

@gringolobo Absolutely. Cross training (ie a ski trip) and rest and family support are as important as being part of a team. That coach is whack.

 

[sausagedog23]

@cuberman Communication is often all it takes. "Hey coach, my family is going away on vacation and I'm going with them. I'll be gone from X - Y which means I'll miss # of practices and also #of game/match/meets. I hate to let the team down, but I promise to work out and practice while I'm gone so I don't fall behind while I'm gone."

That conversation happening as far in advance as possible is usually all it takes to not get cut from highschool sports.

That said...there are exceptions. You can't hold a starting spot that 20 other kids are competing to steal from you if you do this. You can't be the superstar of the team, seeking championships and scholarships and do this. You get the idea.

But if the kid is "just" another member of the team and not a central aspect of it... communication does the trick. Oh - and the coach can't be an unreasonable jerk. I guess that's the other limitation.

 

[rbell77]

@cuberman y tp9g;

 

[lavister]

@cuberman Unfortunately yes. My son is in wrestling. Even during Christmas break he was to be at practice on time every time, unless he was sick. If he misses 3 practices he is out.

 

[cuberman]

@lavister Thank you for this response, I wasn’t aware.

 

[bengalinath19]

@cuberman I think he should have communicated with the coach, that is a great life lesson for college and even more so for work. But another poster commented, and I agree that it doesn’t seem like he’s that into it since he chose spring vacation over track and so maybe it is right that he should be cut for someone who wants it more.
Can you see how it comes across a little entitled? He would rather go on vacation but you expect the coach to save a spot for when it is convenient for your family.

 

[leon244]

@cuberman Wth I can’t believe this is a thing. We’re talking vacation during a time when there is no school, for a school sport? Good grief, it’s not the Olympics.

 

[lightofaquarius]

@leon244 Same thing with marching band - sports and extra curricular get students scholarships to colleges. Some pro teams recruit out of high school. It’s competitive.

 

[sjasti]

@cuberman In my area, all sports have a parent meeting, so parents are aware of the specific rules, which differ between schools & sport/coach. If student is going to miss for any reason whatsoever, student should be telling the coach as soon as possible. That is life practice!

 

[sparrowfeet]

@cuberman Pretty much. Sometimes a rare special thing can be negotiated in advance, but they tend to take it seriously. Also, for future reference — no vacations when he is supposed to be in class in college either.

 

[maxpow99]

@cuberman My son was expected to practice all winter break, but he had a job and wanted to make some money while he was on break. He didn’t get cut from the team, but the coach was “disappointed”. My son said he made the right choice, he wanted to build up a small savings.

 

[haleyn13]

@cuberman Yes. This is how it works.

 

[cuberman]

@haleyn13 Thank you.

 

[haleyn13]

@cuberman Ya'll have to make decisions.

If he's committed to the sport - then yeah, they generally use at least some vacation time for either practice, or games, or tournaments. But that's usually known and shared by the coach before signup for the season. Nobody should be surprised by expectations.

But - if the kid is into the sport, honestly, he should be the one asking to stay and do the sport. So - if he'd rather be on vacation - that's a sign that he's not as into the sport as he'd need to be in high school to compete at the same level as the other folks on the team.

 

[everydaybread]

@cuberman To me this falls under allowing our kids to experience the natural consequences of their choices, which requires us to not rescue them.

So this...

Fast forward, my son tells me today that he was cut from the track team. I ask why - he says because he went on vacation. I asked him if he had told his track coach he’d be away and he said no.

and then this...

Now I feel like a horrible parent that I took him on vacation, not knowing the consequences were that he’d be cut from track team.

That's the parent in you speaking. The protector. The fixer.

Your son didn't get kicked off the team because of a vacation, your son was not responsible enough to take what amounts to probably ten seconds to communicate to his coach that he'd be out for a week with family on vacation.

That's the lesson.

My son was in soccer come summer/fall, and then track during the winter/spring seasons. Families squeeze in vacations, weekends away, all sorts of things that require your child to be away from his/her team for a bit. Your kid wasn't the first to take a vacation during track season, he definitely won't be the last. This is 100% normal for every single high school coach.

To me it sounds like your son has just lost interest (in track), and to me that's fine, but I'd want to have an honest conversation with him about it to clarify where the actual fault lies.

• The coach is not at fault for cutting a person from the team who failed to show up to practice for an entire week with no communication.
• You the parent are not at fault for planning a vacation and expecting your 17 year old son to have the wherewithal to let a coach know he'd be out for a week.
• Your son IS at fault for failing to communicate.

So if track IS important to your kid, honestly, I feel he'd fight for it you know? and he's simply not. He's just sulking that the coach cut him, and...with some perspective offered him his spot back. But it's your son's decision to take it or not.

 

[laurapalooza]

@cuberman Is this a public or private high school?

 

[cuberman]

@laurapalooza This is a public high school.

 

[laurapalooza]

@cuberman Oh, but for relay races and such, a student who lets their team down is less likely to be placed on that type of team in the first place. For example, if a student doesn't like to travel to away meets, the coach isn't going to place that student on a relay team. But the student could still practice and compete in solo heats all they want.

Not telling your coach you will be away for Christmas break when practices are held could be construed as letting the team down. In my area of California, track doesn't even start until February, so practices in December and January are purely voluntary, and quite unofficial.