Toddler throwing a tantrum because I cut his pb&j. Do I make a new one or stick to my guns?

[ctbill]

@mtyler That last sentence

 

[relaxbuddy]

@mtyler I would have just explained in the car we cut donuts because they’re less messy that way. Don’t complain about it, kiddo. I don’t get mushy about that stuff. We do things for practical reasons and you accept it.

 

[dollapy]

@tiffanycox I do this too! Mine is 22 months, so he doesn’t understand everything I’m saying, but he picks up on the tone.

 

[mirrey]

@tiffanycox Absolutely what you said.

My therapist refers to this as "rupture and repair" of the situation

 

[kjk11861]

@tiffanycox We literally used scotch tape to put an (empty) edamame pod back together. It ended the tantrum. Sometimes looking for a solution together is a good way to handle this.

Relatedly, we have also "glued" broken bananas, muffins, etc with jam or peanut butter.

 

[katie_indy]

@tiffanycox This really does help, even with littler tots. It's at a point in my classroom where I just ask them what's wrong and they go "I'm bummed out". Disappointment is such an important feeling to learn.

 

[louna]

@tiffanycox This is great! Kid just wants to be seen and validated.

 

[shua2u]

@tiffanycox I love the 'wish' part. In 'How to Talk so Little Kids will Listen' "wishing" is one of the ways for you to show your kid that you are listening and empathize with their feelings. I like the idea because you can let them know that you know exactly what they want but at the same time you are acknowledging that what they want can't happen.

 

[xpertfinance]

@tiffanycox I love this so much!

 

[pete8455]

@tiffanycox Lmao my toddler to a T. As soon as a validate, he usually moves right along to playing or whatever.

 

[passionforjesus]

@rae29 Here is a New York Times article that addresses the developmental science behind this issue. It’s a very interesting and fun read that gave me a lot greater understanding and therefore more patience with my kids.

Essentially, they truly can’t understand that it’s the same sandwich once you have cut it in half. They really wanted that PB&J, and for them you very literally eliminated it’s existence.

 

[rae29]

@passionforjesus That's really cool, thank you! I love all those experiments they do

 

[georgeousandsweet]

@passionforjesus Thank you so much for sharing this!

 

[puddintain]

@passionforjesus Huh, now realizing my Mom actually did this experiment with me and my brother as a kid by accident. Mostly cause we had weird cups but still.

 

[rae29]

@passionforjesus Thanks!!

 

[crimsonking]

@passionforjesus This is so interesting! Thanks for sharing!

 

[katrina2017]

@passionforjesus Thanks for sharing. Very interesting read. Going to try it with our 2ish almost 3 years old.

 

[blessedsuze]

@passionforjesus Does anyone have the non paywall version??

 

[passionforjesus]

@blessedsuze Here is a gift link

 

[blessedsuze]

@passionforjesus I appreciate this so much but it says there’s a technical issue and won’t work

Edit:
I tried again 5 mins later and we are back on mama!! Thank you!!