Countdown until I will be a sahm

[chapisag]

I have a 2 year old and I’m 3 months pregnant with our second. I wanted to be a sahp after our first but it wasn’t the best financial decision at the time. We’ve started to live on 1 income and banking my salary once I found out I was pregnant, it’s been tough but doable. I’m planning on leaving after 2nd is born but I’m having a really really hard time with work at the moment. My heart isn’t in it AND my symptoms are worse this time around, nausea all day and so so tired. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but I’m getting negative feedback about my work and it’s just making it harder to keep positive knowing what I’ve wanted is 7 months away. Just wanted to get that out, not necessarily looking for an answer but want to commiserate with some folks that maybe were in my shoes at one point. Thanks for reading.

 

[graceandgranola]

@chapisag I know the feeling. I was in a job I hated and was trying to leave but just couldn’t find another good fit. Then I got pregnant and told myself I just had to make it until the kid was here.

If you’re dealing with more sickness and fatigue, can you see about a note from your doctor to get some accommodations? Work from home, flexible scheduling?

 

[chapisag]

@graceandgranola Thanks for the thoughtful comment! I work from home most days luckily, but travel for work about 2 weeks out of the month. I think that’s a good idea to at least slow down on the travel with a doctor’s note.

 

[graceandgranola]

@chapisag Oh I would definitely cut travel. My son was in the NICU when born. Both of his cove mates were premier born to mothers that were traveling. One was 34 weeks and traveling for work when she went into labor here in MD. I think she was from Florida. The other baby’s mother was from India. She was 28 weeks when her water broke.

 

[r123]

@chapisag No help, but sympathy. I was working on a really hard project all through my pregnancy and pushed through just for the maternity leave. Looking back on it now, I can say it was worth it, but there were many many days I didn’t feel that way

 

[ruschele]

@chapisag Don't go on maternity leave and then quit when/just before you go back to work. Where I used to work you would owe back what the company paid for your benefits for the time you were out on maternity leave.

Check you maternity leave benefits, which may or may not state those details. Mine didn't, I remember learning about it by word-of-mouth through the other new moms.

 

[jamescraig]

@ruschele Is it enforceable if not written down/documented?

Didn't know this was a thing, definitely something I'll pay attention to for the next kid

 

[prof1933]

@ruschele This definitely isn't universal. I took 8 months of paternity leave and then came back for about a month before quitting. If I'd quit before leave I would have missed out on a massive amount of compensation, and my company doesn't make anyone pay anything back. If I recall correctly, in my area they can legally make you pay back some things (like health insurance premiums) but not salary.

 

[r123]

@ruschele Check with HR about this. I asked mine and they confirmed it wasn’t the case for us.

 

[chapisag]

@ruschele Thanks! I did double check on this and I wouldn’t owe anything back luckily if I leave immediately after.

 

[trinity47]

@chapisag I was you in 2021! It was so hard to get through working knowing I didn’t have to go back. I ended up leaving 6 weeks before my due date so I could get into the routine and rest before baby. Good luck and congrats on this new chapter.

 

[chapisag]

@trinity47 Thank you!

 

[williamandcarol]

@chapisag I went through this, but I wanted to stay on tge job until my maternity leave, but my husband did not. I left at 32 weeks. My first was premature due to pre-eclampsia, and my husband didn’t want any added stress in my third trimester. It was hard to leave that money on the table for me.

I love being home with my babies, though.

Good luck!

 

[marysmith45]

@chapisag Ugh I feel you. Found out I was pregnant in July 2022. We moved an hour and half away to buy our house. I was gonna quit but my boss gave me a 10 dollar pay raise and let me work from home 4 days a week and asked that I still come in 1 day a week. It was totally doable at first but when December rolled around and I was commuting and entering my 3rd trimester, I was ready to throw the towel so bad. But I held out and commuted all the way until end of February and worked from home exclusively until a week before my due date (March 18). Baby came 1 day early. So I technically only got a 4 day maternity leave.

You got this! Like you said, you have a light at the end of tunnel and it will come sooner than you think.

 

[chapisag]

@marysmith45 Wow good for you for sticking it out! I can’t wait and thank you for the words of encouragement, I do appreciate it!

 

[katrina2017]

@chapisag Kind of in a similar boat. Pregnant with our first and once baby comes in about 6 months I’ll be a SAHM super excited to meet our baby.

 

[chapisag]

@katrina2017 Congrats!

 

[dawie725]

@chapisag Wow it’s like reading my own journey from one to two! I kept my job until the birth of number two and am not sure if I’ll go back after my maternity leave is up. I totally agree pregnancy two is so much harder and my team treated me poorly since I announced the pregnancy!!! Just hang in there - no words of advice just that I did the same thing and I feel you, it’s tough for sure!