Can't get pregnant after 3 years of attempts

T

thecookdebra

New member
I'm kind of at a loss for words and I'm unsure where to even go from here... My spouse and I have been trying to have kids every month for three years, even went to a fertility clinic this year to figure out what's going on and why we're not yet pregnant. After doing some tests and bloodwork the doctor let us know that we have PCOS (or something about her hormone levels are out of wack). She hasn't had a consistent period (ranges from 28-38 day cycles) her whole life. But when we got put on the hormone prescription from the doctor, her cycles were very regular and extremely predictable. After doing that for four months, we still were not able to get pregnant. This was not IVF. The doctor then told us that by this point we had an 80% chance of getting pregnant. And if we're not pregnant by now, then we should try moving forward with IVF. -- I feel like this doctor didn't really tell us much at all about my wife's blood test results, if she has any vitamin or mineral deficiencies. She also has a hard time losing weight but eats extremely healthy and does not eat processed foods. She doesn't have any gluten/food allergies or food intolerances. What should we even do?

Are there additional tests we should perform? I've had my sperm checked and there are plenty of floaters in there to get us pregnant they said. This is a long time to try and not get pregnant when others get pregnant like clockwork... We have intercourse every day/every other day during the months we're really trying to get pregnant, still no success.
 
@thecookdebra I've been TTC 3 years as well. My husband's sperm is great and my body seems to be the issue. I'll just offer what we are doing and what our plan is.

I was diagnosed with endometriosis and had my first lap this past February which ended up not being successful because I had severe stage 4. We kept trying naturally and nothing happened. In September I was supposed to have my second surgery with a world renowned endo specialist but because the universe hates me, my surgery was cancelled 10 minutes before being rolled into anesthesia because I was pregnant. Yep. Blood tests came back and showed positive. Didn't have much time to celebrate because a few days later I miscarried. First time EVER seeing a positive test.

Thankfully for my surgery rescheduled and had it two days ago. OH BOY my system was a mess. I had some of the worst endo he's seen. It was all over my organs, bowel, uterus, rectum, back, uterus and ovaries along with 3 large cysts on the ovaries and on my appendix which had to be removed. My prognosis is excellent though and the whole team believes I should be able to get pregnant now. I had all my hormones tested aside from progesterone and all came back excellent which was surprising.

He wants me to go on birth control for 2 months and then to start trying again, probably to make sure everything is healed 100%.

Now, I recapped this because there's a few things your spouse can get tested for.

Endometritis (not endometriosis) is an infection in the uterus that prevents implantation. A simple antibiotic fixes this. I had my tested during my lap, so I'll find out if I need the antibiotics.

Endometriosis, is it possible your spouse has endo? Any inkling at all? Endo wreaks havoc on fertility, mostly by hurting egg quality.

Are her tubes open? HSG?

Was progesterone tested?

Have you guys tried any medicated cycles?

After my 2 month healing period we are going to try naturally again but after a few months if nothing I was recommended to try some medicated cycles to ensure 1. I'm ovulating and follicles are good etc and 2. Sometimes these medications can help even if you do ovulate because like me, my eggs aren't the best quality, the more I ovulate the higher chance of conception. Granted I haven't done this method yet because I needed to remove my endo first.

There are definitely different tests you can do and things you can checked. I would see a second opinion on your situation.

https://www.cnyfertility.com/infertility-medications/
This website just showcases all the different fertility medications and how each helps/how it works.

I know the pain and how hard it is. I hope you guys find answers, sending love xx
 
@tommyhim8 This was the kind of response I was hoping for! Thank you. I'll need to reread this a few times to really digest what you said. I really appreciate it and wish you the best, too!!
 
@thecookdebra IVF is not a guarantee for pregnancy, mostly if she has implantation issues that are not known yet or something is impacting her egg quality. Plus, it can be so expensive. I always seek a second opinion when it comes to fertility and my own health because doctors can vary greatly in their knowledge of this subject matter.

With endo, it takes an average of ten years to get a diagnosis. So I would definitely ask and look into it. I believe the stats are 50% of unexplained infertility end up being caused by endometriosis, so endometriosis was the reason for the infertility but because you can't get an official diagnosis outside of doing a lap, it can be hard to know because some women are asymptomatic or think their pain during their periods is normal when they aren't. If she has PCOS her egg quality could potentially not be the best or like one of my closest friends, she has been TTC for 3 years too but really only 6 months because she's only ovulated 6 months/3 years :/. Sadly in the fertility realm and women's health, you have to be your own advocate. There are medications that can help with PCOS and conceiving, just see the link I sent above ^ but if I were you I'd definitely get some more opinions before heading straight to IVF but that's because we would have to pay out of pocket so we are doing protocols that are covered before entering IVF.
 
@tommyhim8 There is a test that can be done, called receptiva dx. It can identify endometrial inflammation associated with endometriosis that can affect implantation, IVF success, etc.

I just had it done and it came back positive. My RE is putting me on the treatment regimen, and fingers crossed, it will help.

Just throwing this out there so that people who are waiting years for laps can know there is another option.
 
@codyvickers Interesting I've never heard of that before. I got diagnosed via vaginal ultrasound because I had a large blood filled cyst which was suspected endometrioma and then I was told I should get a lap before trying any fertility treatments and low and behold my lap showcases I had severe stage 4. I'll keep that noted though! I wish there was more research about endometriosis and treatment/diagnosis options.
 
@thecookdebra Honestly, you can have all good numbers and tests and still not conceive. It’s called unexplained infertility. We tried unassisted and had four IUIs for 3+ years before starting IVF in September. It sucks, but it is what it is. If you’ve been to a fertility specialist I would trust their course of treatment. You could always shop around and try a different one if you’d prefer a second opinion.
 
@andreea2017 Are there other tests we should get? These are the only ones that I've been able to gather so far...

- Vitamin and mineral deficiencies

- Thyroid

- More hormone tests, etc.
 
@thecookdebra Not really. You can test everything and get perfect results and still be infertile. An HSG or SIS is usually ordered, but maybe your partner already did that. You could ask your RE.
 
@4meta Also have the meds been “monitored medicated cycles?” Meaning, has the doc checked her ovaries on ultrasound to make sure she actually ovulated? I would try Natural Cycles + Oura Ring and/or Inito to track hormone levels/ovulation at home to make sure she’s ovulating and at the right time… 3 years is a lot but if you’re trying on day 15 and she’s ovulating on day 22 you’re missing it! I have PCOS, sometimes cycles as long as 34-44 days, I ovulate on a diff day every cycle…as late as day 29…you just don’t know unless you’re tracking. Also can try acupuncture that helped me get my hormones more regular than meds ever did, although every doc I’ve seen has recommended metformin which I was on when I successfully conceived.
 
@everydaylily Yes, we are having her cycles monitored for when she is ready for the trigger shot, etc. Also have had ultrasounds for egg maturity growth. -- I hadn't heard of the metformin and we have heard of acupuncture. So we may try those options, too.
 
@thecookdebra Vitamin or mineral deficiencies, eating processed foods, or having food allergies or intolerances do not cause infertility.

After 3 years of trying you have given yourself plenty of chances to conceive spontaneously. More testing isn’t going to change the basic situation - it isn’t happening for you, you tried ovulation induction and that didn’t work. The only remaining treatment plans currently available are IUI (which offers odds similar to medicated intercourse, which you already tried) and IVF. Your doctor recommended IVF.
 
@ldrkert4 100%! Those are usually things that contribute to egg/sperm quality and can be potential factors ultimately in miscarriages or other issues, but not conception as far as I’m aware. A bad egg and/or bad sperm can still fertilize, implant, and even grow for many weeks/months but likely won’t be carried to term.

People can definitely still get pregnant with all those factors.
 
@thecookdebra There are no magical supplements or foods that will get your wife pregnant, anyone touting those is trying to sell you something. If you aren’t ready for IVF you can ask about IUI as a starter. It’s cheaper and will be easier on your wife. However, having been down that path myself, if you’re being recommended for IVF I’d save my money and go right to that. There’s no guarantee of success but with your wife’s age the success rates are high. Good luck.
 
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