Can't Get My Wife Off of Her D*mn Phone

[josephjurg]

@cameronreagan Why is that out of line? Like sure some people prefer to have screenless meals but its not disgusting behavior or anything.

 

[jairadelapena]

@josephjurg It's terrible manners and overall just sad.

 

[cameronreagan]

@josephjurg Screens during meal times is objectively bad and is absolutely disgusting behavior.

You can't give one second of your attention to your literal family and instead have to have your stupid face shoved in your phone. I can't imagine a child sitting across the table from an adult glued to a screen.

 

[llewey]

@cameronreagan This is some cultural specific I don’t understand. For us dinner is just the matter of switching from hungry to not hungry in the evening. It’s not that convenient to talk when you’re trying to chew. Family time is before/ after dinner, in fact, cooking together is way more bonding then eating together

 

[ckmervin]

@llewey Both my wife and I cook with our son. It is much more engaging and rewarding than being like, "what did you do at daycare today?" When my 5 year old 90 % of the time says... "I don't remember"

The other 10 % says we did preschool work.

 

[llewey]

@ckmervin Exactly, you can do everything together, my daughter loves to help cooking, fold laundry, sort groceries, feed the pets, tidy up the garden. Dinner is one of the few times when you sit, your mouth is full. Why wouldn't it be my time to watch a YouTube video?

 

[djo82]

@llewey Dinner is the only time everyone is forced to be together in a relaxed setting. Food brings people together. Don't squander the opportunity.

 

[thekla]

@josephjurg Yeah I am with you. Sometimes you need those screens to get stuff done.

 

[djo82]

@josephjurg

its not disgusting behavior or anything

False.

 

[dominga]

@tobyharba 7 month pregnant lurker… I’m all against black mirrors controlling our lives. We don’t do any TV or screen time w his toddler other than once a week family movie night on the projector.

But I’ll admit I got into bad screen habits during my first trimester…the fatigue and nausea caught me off guard and I just laid on the bed like a slug on my phone for weeks 6-11… granted I was mostly diving into pregnancy/birth/mom/parenting content, since this is my first pregnancy and I’m naturally a researcher. But once I felt better in my 2nd tri I noticed I had to work harder to put down the phone and not get caught in a scrolling trap, since my brain had gotten used to that routine. I’ll still find myself spending too much time on my phone, but I’ve also come to peace that I won’t get this kind of alone time for long. Plus I’ve made a commitment that once baby is here I will not be using my phone when breastfeeding.

 

[housemother]

@dominga Honestly, it's so easy to click on one short video because it looks good, and then suddenly it's 3 hours later and you don't know what happened.

 

[katrina2017]

@tobyharba She have ADHD?

Addicted to phone, doesn't notice messes being made, can't bring herself to clean, sensitive to criticism

 

[acog12345]

@katrina2017 This. My wife is exactly the same, and ticks every box on the ADHD checklist.

Haven't figured out how to snap her out of it yet. Any time I mention it she gets extremely defensive, can't take criticism at all.

I love her to bits, but it's fuckimg infuriating because it's like having another child in the house at times.

 

[confused1984]

@acog12345 My wife is like this and wanted to improve on it. She's been way less tempted to use to phone after getting a galaxy z flip. It just stays folded sometimes and she forgets about it. This is an ad.

 

[givenmyself2god]

@acog12345

it's fuckimg infuriating because it's like having another child in the house at times.

can't take criticism at all.

I suggest to you that your tone from the first sentence likely creeps into any 'criticisms' you're giving your spouse.

 

[acog12345]

@givenmyself2god I don't talk to her like that, obviously.

 

[katrina2017]

@tobyharba I know the struggle. My wife is the same... constantly glued to her phone. So much so, she often has to charge her phone multiple times in one day! I've brought it up many times, and she too gets very defensive about it. I generally just keep my mouth shut now, unless she's being especially egregious about it. I hate that I have to compete with her phone for her time, but I just feel bad for the kids.

Just for S's and G's, what's your wife's poison on the phone? Is it Tik Tok, as it is for mine?

 

[graveapology]

@katrina2017 attempt worm hobbies worry shrill elderly simplistic pet distinct decide

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

 

[steffserves]

@katrina2017 Curious — was she high glued to her phone before kids? We’re about to pull the trigger on kids and she’s constantly plugged in, in some way. Either podcasts while she works (which isn’t a problem) or browsing fb, insta, etc, phone games, tv. . She’s extremely introverted so it’s hard to differentiate problem from general relaxation/ entertainment.

Worried about it enough that it makes me reconsider kids.

 

[katrina2017]

@steffserves She was not. She's struggled mightily with her mental health -- always, but especially since having kids. She was diagnosed with ADHD recently, and this was a vice she really started leaning into to calm her mind...an ASMR, of sorts, I guess...but then it devolved into a really bad habit/addiction. It went from her needing an afternoon break alone to zone into her phone for a bit, to her zoning into her phone morning, noon, and night. It's in her face on the couch. It's in her face when she gets up from the couch to make dinner. It's in her face while she's making dinner. It's in her face while she's at the table with us eating dinner. It's in her face when she returns to the couch after dinner. It's in her face while she's putting our 4 year old to bed. It's in her face all evening long after the kids are in bed. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Oh, yeah... and if she's doing something that'd preclude her from actively looking at her phone, such as driving, it's podcasts or weird ASMR videos on YouTube.

Like I said before, it drives me crazy to have to compete with her phone for her time, but I really just feel bad for the kids. I've tried talking to her about it before, and I've even discussed it with my therapist to try to help inform a meaningful discussion with her about it, but it goes nowhere 100% of the time. She gets mean and defensive about it anytime I bring it up -- like a bad dog when you're trying to take its bone away.