@morirach I’m a dietitian and I have been able to lose the weight postpartum with all three of my babies, however, I truly believe this is a skill — the mind-body relationship with food — that takes a while to learn in the modern era where everything is set up to influence you to fail. I gained 20lb when I was 16 and made all the mistakes trying to lose it. Became a dietitian because of my journey. I eventually learned how to have a healthy mindset toward food, a thorough understanding of calories without the need to count anymore, and I have repaired my ability to sense and manage my internal hunger and fullness cues. I am ok with going very slow when it comes to weight loss, think 1-2lb per month and I keep trying again and again even if I regain some weight or eat too much. I accept my body at every weight without shame or guilt.
These are my keys to success but it has taken me 20+ years to really develop them. Anyone whose first foray with weight gain and loss is pregnancy is starting where I was all those years ago. It’s doesn’t need to take 20 years to master these skills, but you also shouldn’t feel discouraged that it’s not something you’ve picked up easily.
One of the best things you can do is start to understand calories. The primary way we gain/lose/manage our weight is through food. Exercise functions as a boost to your efforts but will never be the primary way we succeed. You can easily out eat any amount of exercise, and I say this as someone who used to run trail ultramarathons (distances more than 26mi). Know roughly what your body needs and what you’re eating day to day. Mindful eating is also very helpful — that’s the term for relearning our natural hunger and fullness cues. Because I understand calories, I’m able to just use mindful eating to manage my weight and I don’t count calories anymore. It also helps me not feel like I’m starving all the time and I eat dessert sometimes, Starbucks, etc because I can easily balance it all.
Then you need to look at what are any barriers to success you might have. I don’t keep sweets in the house because I am prone to overeating them, just as one example. I get more exercise through walks, speed cleaning, etc than running like I used to because I just don’t have the time or energy to get up early for a run. Basically I figure every problem has a solution so we will identify what’s preventing my weight loss and figure out a solution. Then being patient for results. I have my whole life ahead of me, there’s no deadline for getting to my goal weight postpartum. It took me 6 months one time and over 2 years another time. Any progress is progress, it doesn’t have to be fast.
I hope this helps in anyway. I know this is so hard and you are not alone in struggling and feeling frustrated!