Calling contact nappers/bad daytime nappers

[lesliecraw]

LO (3 months) has such a hard time with daytime naps. The slightest noise will startle him, it’s often hard for him to fall asleep and needs to be rocked for several minutes/constantly. During his first 6-8 weeks of life he was able to nap better but since then I feel like it’s so hard to get him down. He’ll be completely knocked out on me and then the moment I lay him down he wakes up and it takes forever to get him back to sleep/sometimes doesn’t even work. I think he needs optimal sleep environments with white noise and darkness. I’ve started using white noise during the day which helps but not as much.

I personally love daylight and want him to learn the difference between night and day, so I don’t want blackout curtains, I can’t sacrifice any more of my mental health, the newborn phase is hard enough.

Parents who’ve been through this, do they get better with naps as they get older? As in requiring less of an effort/“perfect” environment? Or do they just continue being extremely dependent on you? If they do get better, when would you say that happened?

Bonus Q: now approaching the 3 month mark and still waiting for LO to not be an angry potato, am I close or still months away? Maybe my LO is just a picky personality

 

[dixieheart]

@lesliecraw I kid you not, I was going to write this post tonight because I’m in need of solidarity! I’m also battling with being trapped in the dark nursery with my LO every night from 7-8pm onwards as she catnaps once or twice before settling down to her first long chunk of sleep at 10-11pm. She’s just not ready for an early bedtime yet. I can deal with the daytime contact naps if she goes down early at night and gives me a few hours of hands free time. One day soon!!

 

[cjs17]

@dixieheart Omg I tried so hard to move my baby's bedtime up when I started back to work at 12 weeks. The late bedtime and early start time at work was killing me. I envisioned it being a slow progressive transition but she literally went from 10-11pm bedtime to a few weeks of maybe 9 pm and then last night she went down for a "nap" at 6:30p and didn't wake up til midnight just flying by the seat of our pants over here! 15 weeks btw

 

[dixieheart]

@cjs17 Oh man! I’m happy for you! You needed that to happen. I’m on leave for a few more months, I feel like my LO can sense I have time to burn. My LO is 13.5 weeks now. I know it might still be a little young.

 

[dixieheart]

@cjs17 Out of curiosity, may I ask if your LO woke up/you woke them up in the morning at a certain time? My LO is favouring anywhere between 5-7am atm. Anytime before 7 I usually give her a feed and put her back to bed but I’m not sure if I’m stuffing up an early bedtime by doing so. I dunno…

 

[cjs17]

@dixieheart We are always trying to decide what to do about that! The morning after she went to bed at 6:30 pm, she was bright eyed and bushy tailed at 5:30 am but ended up going back to sleep from 7-8:30 am. Last night she randomly wouldn't go to bed until 10 pm but slept until 4:30 am. I just fed her and she's wide awake and I can't get her back to sleep lol. She's 3.5 months and I feel like her sleep patterns are starting to do that shift so we just try to go with the flow as much as possible. The days that I work, I have to wake her up between 5:30-6 am to get her out the door and to childcare. When I'm off she normally sleeps until 8-9 am. Depending on how naps and bedtime went the day before I usually let her sleep. She also is slowly growing out of colic that was pretty traumatic for all of us lol and she gets overtired and hysterical quickly. If she sleeps much past 9 am I'll just open the curtains in our room to encourage her to wake up on her own. We've never been successful with any form of a "schedule." So we just do the best we can based on how her mood is and mostly wing it I just keep telling myself that when we see any sort of pattern emerge then we can try to maintain that consistency.

Sorry for the overly long response but basically we take it day by day and are hoping for the best

 

[dixieheart]

@cjs17 Yep, sounds like we’re somewhat in the same boat. Thank you for the thorough explanation. Even though obviously each bubs is unique and I can’t apply anything much that people tell me, its just nice to compare notes sometimes. I’ll just have to keep waiting for my LO to WANT to go to sleep earlier.

 

[cjs17]

@dixieheart I 100% agree! It's definitely nice to see if anyone is trying anything I haven't thought of! Maybe it'll work for us and maybe it won't but it's definitely nice to compare notes with other people in similar situations! I hope your kiddo decides to start going to bed earlier

 

[lesliecraw]

@dixieheart Something I’ve started recently is trying to get LO to sleep around sunset via contact nap (not my fave method) since it’s finally dark enough, it actually works and is that earlier bedtime you might be referring to. That gives me some alone time afterwards to either talk to an adult without a baby crying or clean up clutter etc etc. not sure if that’s something you could have success with

 

[dixieheart]

@lesliecraw I very much wish! I live in Australia and the sun is setting around 5:30pm. Usually my LO will have her final proper longer nap around that time of night. I’ve heard that once bubs is ready they’ll “drop” that last nap as a nap and trade it in for a new bed time. Every evening is a write off at this point. It will get better. Just have to give it time I keep being told.

 

[scientia]

@lesliecraw I am currently sat in the rocking chair, in darkness with white noise on whilst my 10 week old naps on me. Tried to transfer to crib, woke up immediately and then took another 15 mins to settle. I decided to just sit in the dark for an hour rather than have an angry, overtired potato. I wish I was commenting with advise for you, but I am a FTM and (in a nice weird way) I felt relief reading your post knowing I AM NOT ALONE. The point of my reply is a) I have the same questions as you b) we can do this and know so many of us are in the same predicament x

 

[lesliecraw]

@scientia I’ve felt relief as well reading other posts that echo my feelings and concerns, it’s definitely nice knowing I’m not alone. Hopefully we all turn a corner soon! I’ve definitely had times where I just opt to let LO sleep on me while I scroll all the apps on my phone

 

[epicbacon]

@lesliecraw My LO is the same age. He also had trouble napping until I started to consistently try to get him to sleep 1 hour and 15 or 30 minutes into his wake window. The easiest way to put hin to sleep for me was breastfeeding in side lying position on the big bed and he just continues to nap there. Of course, that doesn't always work especially if he is gassy. Whatever method I use, he only naps if I'm next to him.... I try to remember that one day he won't let me in his room so I should enjoy this time

 

[lesliecraw]

Side lying sometimes makes him fall asleep before getting a full feed :/ so I’ve stopped doing those for the most part as I feel it just makes the feeding process longer. But I’m glad it’s something working for you!

 

[seekeroftruth_2015]

@lesliecraw i could have written this myself my boy is 13wk

 

[jessiengerman]

@lesliecraw Another FTM just here for solidarity. Had my 13 week old sleep on me for two hours. Attempted to put him down three times but to no avail. Bright side is I can apparently eat lunch, hang washing and wipe the basin while holding a sleeping newborn