@handlotion Exactly the same here. Contact naps and baby wearing all day and then nipple has to be in her mouth to sleep at night. Any time I try to move her into her basinette she wakes immediately. Im concerned how I will return to work in a few months. I teach and need the evenings to prep. I can’t be doing what we are doing now and yet I know I’m doing what she needs me to do at the moment.
@handlotion This entire post speaks to my soul, I’m right there with you, baby is almost 4 months now and contact naps and sleeps on my chest through the night. Every day and every night I tell myself this is going to be the day I try to get LO to sleep without me and then I’m so tired that I don’t have the energy to try it out and would rather her just get her sleep and me get my downtime on my phone then spend an entire nap trying to get her to stay asleep in the bassinet. The longest she’ll stay sleep in the bassinet is maybe 15 mins.
Other things that are hard because of co sleeping and contact napping: I’ve lost weight really fast because I don’t have time to eat, I have to do household chores when she’s awake, husband and I never get to snuggle and I’m always shushing him
@dougalqc I feel this! A friend of mine decided to do a meal service for a month because she just didn’t have time to cook or clean. I am going to look into that and see if it’s budget friendly for me for a little bit. If I can quickly pop something in the microwave and eat before he needs to sleep, it might be better than nothing.
@handlotion 9 months in and still there. It’s what he needs to sleep so I’m just honoring that still. I listen to a lot of audiobooks and lately been even watching tv on my phone with AirPods as the light hasn’t been waking him lately. But still can’t roll away for longer than 5-15 minutes. I’m not going to force it but I’m definitely hoping he starts to get longer stretches soon!
@handlotion Mom of a 14 month old typing this with a toddler sleeping on me because if I leave she will wake up. I started eating dinner early and watching stuff on my phone alone in bed under a sheet to not wake her. I basically never see my husband. Everyone says it will get better but it definitely hasn’t for us. It’s gotten worse because we are burned out.
I vividly remember rolling away and eating a protein bar while peeing and drinking water because all
I had was 3 mins before she would wake up a few months ago.
Perfect that ninja roll, put pillows around him and watch him like a hawk on the monitor while you eat.
@handlotion My LO is also a velcro baby. I read the book Precious Little Sleep to help learn some different techniques.
The main thing that helped me was moving my LO to her own room and having my husband take over for bedtime. After a week of sleep training, my LO is sleeping better and longer! (Last night she slept from 8:15pm to 8:30am!)
It was very emotional for my LO and I for the sleep training. But it's nice that she can get uninterrupted sleep and I can have some "me" time. We still contact nap throughout the day, though. Eventually, we'll work on that, too..
@handlotion Your post resonates with me so much!! I’m currently trapped in bed, eating, with LO pressed up against me. I used to be able to sneak away for 20-30 min. but haven’t been able to for about 10 days now, and the toll it takes on your mental health is significant!!
My LO is 12.5 months. We had a Snoo for the first 5 months, then turned to co-sleeping in desperation. FWIW, I’ve actually been wondering if the fact that we tried to sleep train at 5.5 months made things worse because he no longer trusts that I will always be there… who knows. He goes through phases where he’s more concerned I’m not going to be next to him. Sometimes I can escape for 30 min. There was one day where I got a whole hour. But most of the time, he’s checking for me at the end of each sleep-cycle and sometimes in between.
Here’s my 2-cents for how to make this survivable:
I feed baby to sleep by side-lying and if he’s not asleep after eating, patting his back, singing, etc. I had to phase out the rocking because it was so hard to then set him down.
Once he’s asleep lying on the bed, I can sit up if I maintain contact (usually him cuddling my leg).
We have a white noise machine, so I can make small noises eating, etc. without waking him. He’s a light sleeper, and without the noisemaker, I’d have no chance.
Sometimes I am able to escape by putting pillows next to LO so when he flings his arm out to check if I’m there, he touches the pillow and goes back to sleep. I didn’t start doing this until LO was 10 months or so, and I check the baby monitor frequently to make sure his face never gets near the pillows.
I had to adjust my mindset and find something to be joyful about being in bed at 7pm and not able to leave… I’ve turned it into my quiet reading and eating dessert time. My partner brings me snacks if I’m not able to escape for long enough to get them myself. I just had to stop thinking of it as being trapped and “held hostage,” and find something to look forward to.
We have a solid bedtime routine, and my partner does LO’s bath almost every night and is in charge of putting on his PJs and sometimes reading to LO solo, too. During that time, I take a hot shower and decompress from the day. I desperately need that solo time before starting the nighttime extravaganza, even if it’s only 15-20 min. We started the bedtime routine at around 3 mo., long before LO really appreciated the books we read to him, and I think it helps him fall asleep at night.
I need to get alone time during other times during the week because even if baby is asleep, being “on duty” is not R&R. My partner takes baby for chunks on the weekends, so I can have some time to myself.