Calling All Moms Who Have Breastfed
- Thread starter lukester09
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- breastfeeding/tits 🤱 moms
@lukester09 I breastfed my little girl until she was almost 3. I did consider weaning her at around age 2 but then we lost her dad (suicide) and so we both needed the comfort.
Be confident that this stage will pass. When my daughter weaned at age 3, there was a period of several months where she would grab at my boobs and have her hands up my top at every opportunity. This was also a comfort thing and part of the self weaning process. She grew out of it and stopped it in her own time.
You're doing an amazing job and you will get through this.
You have NOT fucked up.
On the contrary. You're doing an amazing job and you're smashing breastfeeding and being a mum.
Be confident that this stage will pass. When my daughter weaned at age 3, there was a period of several months where she would grab at my boobs and have her hands up my top at every opportunity. This was also a comfort thing and part of the self weaning process. She grew out of it and stopped it in her own time.
You're doing an amazing job and you will get through this.
You have NOT fucked up.
On the contrary. You're doing an amazing job and you're smashing breastfeeding and being a mum.
lukester09
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peethagoras
New member
@lukester09 Some of it is that age. My kiddo was terrible at that age.
That’s why we started boundaries. No more nursing in public ( I got tired of him flashing the world for a sip because he was bored)
Then we started only nursing in a specific chair area home. So sometimes we go to the library so I get a break. Lol.
That’s why we started boundaries. No more nursing in public ( I got tired of him flashing the world for a sip because he was bored)
Then we started only nursing in a specific chair area home. So sometimes we go to the library so I get a break. Lol.
peter_aka_00avenger00
New member
@lukester09 I’m not anti-cosleep.
But at 19 months, baby needs his own sleep space. So do you. The “stuck” to you, especially overnight, is because of the cosleeping. And much of his behavior is probably because he’s not sleeping well at night.
I would focus first on weaning overnight. Then see what the rest of life looks like. And at the same time, would ramp up offering solids. Try more foods. Explore more textures. At 19 months, he doesn’t need milk for primary nutrition. Set your nursing times - every 4 hours? - and in between, only offer solid food.
He’s crying because it gets him his way. I understand how hard it is to let him cry, but you’re creating a vicious cycle here by giving in everytime he cries. You’re the parent. You create the boundaries. It’s totally normal and okay for him to dislike those boundaries. But if you’re consistent and firm, and offer lots of attention and love while keeping those boundaries, he will adjust.
Good luck!
But at 19 months, baby needs his own sleep space. So do you. The “stuck” to you, especially overnight, is because of the cosleeping. And much of his behavior is probably because he’s not sleeping well at night.
I would focus first on weaning overnight. Then see what the rest of life looks like. And at the same time, would ramp up offering solids. Try more foods. Explore more textures. At 19 months, he doesn’t need milk for primary nutrition. Set your nursing times - every 4 hours? - and in between, only offer solid food.
He’s crying because it gets him his way. I understand how hard it is to let him cry, but you’re creating a vicious cycle here by giving in everytime he cries. You’re the parent. You create the boundaries. It’s totally normal and okay for him to dislike those boundaries. But if you’re consistent and firm, and offer lots of attention and love while keeping those boundaries, he will adjust.
Good luck!
@lukester09 Oh goodness this brings me back lol. This was my son, literally attached to me, I stopped wearing a shirt at home at one point. Having available, easy for him to grab, snacks was a HUGE help. He loved the baby organic freeze dried yogurt bites. We kept those stocked! Also distract distract distract
I started spending all my time on the floor. I worked from home so laptop went straight to floor and I stayed right down there in his domain and played with his toys. Even if he wasn’t playing and just nursing I’d play toys while leaning over his body as he nursed and he’d get distracted by the lights and sounds and turn around (nipple still in mouth!) and start watching me play then he’d release me and grab a toy and he’d play. I just kept on playing til he took over and whenever he came back to the tit later thru the day I’d start playing again and he’d get distracted again and get off me for a bit.
His playing time would get longer and longer and I was finally free! And he got so used to having his own snacks and the freedom to grab them at his leisure and right within his reach he started going for those so he could keep playing vs turning around to nurse off me which meant having to stop playing.
It’s a rough age! But they do grow out of it! I nursed my son til he self weaned at 4yo.
I started spending all my time on the floor. I worked from home so laptop went straight to floor and I stayed right down there in his domain and played with his toys. Even if he wasn’t playing and just nursing I’d play toys while leaning over his body as he nursed and he’d get distracted by the lights and sounds and turn around (nipple still in mouth!) and start watching me play then he’d release me and grab a toy and he’d play. I just kept on playing til he took over and whenever he came back to the tit later thru the day I’d start playing again and he’d get distracted again and get off me for a bit.
His playing time would get longer and longer and I was finally free! And he got so used to having his own snacks and the freedom to grab them at his leisure and right within his reach he started going for those so he could keep playing vs turning around to nurse off me which meant having to stop playing.
It’s a rough age! But they do grow out of it! I nursed my son til he self weaned at 4yo.
lukester09
New member
@sheldonl Omfg the 1st paragraph is literally the same as us! Hahaha
I appreciate it! He is a big snacker.
I offer him those yogurt bites, pouches, peanut butter crackers, all kinds of fruit, fruit / veggie gummies etc. He does love snacks.
I also try to offer juice too instead of boob. I appreciate it !
I appreciate it! He is a big snacker.
I offer him those yogurt bites, pouches, peanut butter crackers, all kinds of fruit, fruit / veggie gummies etc. He does love snacks.
I also try to offer juice too instead of boob. I appreciate it !
@lukester09 This probably won’t help but just an FYI. My baby is the exact same way. We did the same exact things. He is 100% weaned since 20 months (he’s about to be 2). He’s still obsessed with my boobs. Maybe not as much. But he still pulls at my shirt 24/7 and tugs on my bra at night. He is attached to my hip and freaks out when I leave the room, god forbid leave him with my husband. When he cuddles, he always has one hand in my shirt. So I guess my message to you is don’t wean ONLY if you think it’ll solve the boob obsession. If you’re ready, then great. Do it up. But taking the milk away doesn’t stop the boob craze in my experience.
lukester09
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jackrachel3
New member
@lukester09 My first was a veritable boob monster. I swear there was no change in nursing habits between 6 months and 2 years. And he ate plenty, he just nursed all day if you let him.
I eventually had to wean him right after his third birthday, but by that point he was only nursing to sleep and sometimes first thing in the morning. I got pregnant and my supply dried up, otherwise I think he probably would have completely self weaned by 3.5.
Some things that helped were seeing boundaries about where we would nurse. So outside of bedtime, I only nursed in one chair. I would also sometimes tell him he could nurse while I counted to 10, it was up to me how slowly or quickly I counted. I would also defer sometimes, if I knew he was hungry or thirsty I'd offer water or a snack. Or if I thought he was bored or wanting snuggles, I'd offer to play a game or read a book first. A lot of times by then he would forget and not ask again, I always felt like if he asked again then he really needed it and I'd let him nurse.
You're completely within your rights to put boundaries around nursing, it's your body and you're allowed to set boundaries around it. But there's also nothing wrong with "extended" nursing if it's something you're happy doing.
There were definitely times when he was older (18 months+) where I felt like all he did was nurse. Teething was a big one and there were two viruses I nursed him through that were really bad - one a friend of his ended up in the hospital for dehydration and the other was HFM. Both times I was really grateful we were still nursing and I was able to help him through that. The first cold after he weaned completely was really tough.
I eventually had to wean him right after his third birthday, but by that point he was only nursing to sleep and sometimes first thing in the morning. I got pregnant and my supply dried up, otherwise I think he probably would have completely self weaned by 3.5.
Some things that helped were seeing boundaries about where we would nurse. So outside of bedtime, I only nursed in one chair. I would also sometimes tell him he could nurse while I counted to 10, it was up to me how slowly or quickly I counted. I would also defer sometimes, if I knew he was hungry or thirsty I'd offer water or a snack. Or if I thought he was bored or wanting snuggles, I'd offer to play a game or read a book first. A lot of times by then he would forget and not ask again, I always felt like if he asked again then he really needed it and I'd let him nurse.
You're completely within your rights to put boundaries around nursing, it's your body and you're allowed to set boundaries around it. But there's also nothing wrong with "extended" nursing if it's something you're happy doing.
There were definitely times when he was older (18 months+) where I felt like all he did was nurse. Teething was a big one and there were two viruses I nursed him through that were really bad - one a friend of his ended up in the hospital for dehydration and the other was HFM. Both times I was really grateful we were still nursing and I was able to help him through that. The first cold after he weaned completely was really tough.
lukester09
New member
@jackrachel3 Thank you so much!!! This helps a lot.
I appreciate you sharing all of that!
I also am in a phase where he’s been teething a ton and he also has had sicknesses that nursing saved me. He has a fever right now and has the past few days and it’s comforting and helpful.
I appreciate you sharing all of that!
I also am in a phase where he’s been teething a ton and he also has had sicknesses that nursing saved me. He has a fever right now and has the past few days and it’s comforting and helpful.
christianhockeyfan76
New member
@lukester09 Mine were like this, especially my two youngest. I just went with it and weaned around 3.5yr. If you're OK with the way things are, I would just keep doing what you're doing. If you want some space then it's easier if you have help. My husband would take them and hold them instead of me when I didn't want to bf. My youngest is almost 12 now and he eats just fine and is very independent.
lukester09
New member
@christianhockeyfan76 Thank you!
This helps A LOT. Thank you!!
I keep telling myself every baby and kid is different but I get so in my head.
Also like unwarranted comments from pediatricians and other people.
Just because they’re little humans they’re still babies!
He’s 1.5 and he’s giant but he’s still a baby!
This helps A LOT. Thank you!!
I keep telling myself every baby and kid is different but I get so in my head.
Also like unwarranted comments from pediatricians and other people.
Just because they’re little humans they’re still babies!
He’s 1.5 and he’s giant but he’s still a baby!
christianhockeyfan76
New member
@lukester09 I had big babies too! My 3rd was 32lb at 1yr old lol. She didn't even eat solids until she was a bit older than that. She slimmed out significantly as she grew, but she was a huge baby! It sounds like your little one is a nice health baby too. Good job!
joejefferson
New member
@lukester09 In some countries where there isn’t a clean water supply, the WHO recommends breastfeeding instead of any potentially unclean water source until 2 years old. It is our culture that deems breastfeeding unacceptable to babies. In fact in Africa as a whole it is the norm (90%) to breastfeed until 2. Can you imagine the difference in culture that most people around you are/were breastfed/feeding until 2 and beyond?
So it’s not bad that he is such a boobie monster. I think encouraging him with more food might be the way, after already experiencing several “boob monster recessions” with my 16mo following teething and illness that I thought I couldn’t shake, but got back on track with.
Remember they are learning to eat at this age still, and it’s AMAZING that in their tiny first few years of life human children transition their nutrient-absorbing systems 3/4 times - from yolk of the egg to the umbilical cord + placenta to milk/food. That’s a lot going on there. Kind of overwhelming really. Wouldn’t you prefer to just nestle up and feel close to that familiar body that you first called home instead, and have a litttle boobie?
I suggest having a lot of snacking going on to start to transition him into food meals, you eat too and you could bribe a little like “try the snack before boobie?” like helping him get the taste for it. It will probably take several weeks of consistent trying for him to actually decide he would like this stuff. So try that for a bit and see how it goes.
It must be quite draining for you to be bf so much, so make sure you are looking after yourself as much as possible too. Remember he is watching you and so you are teaching him to care for himself. You want to demonstrate boundaries for him so he can use them in his life. That said, it sounds like you are doing a great job of managing your rainbow baby
Edit: for clarity
So it’s not bad that he is such a boobie monster. I think encouraging him with more food might be the way, after already experiencing several “boob monster recessions” with my 16mo following teething and illness that I thought I couldn’t shake, but got back on track with.
Remember they are learning to eat at this age still, and it’s AMAZING that in their tiny first few years of life human children transition their nutrient-absorbing systems 3/4 times - from yolk of the egg to the umbilical cord + placenta to milk/food. That’s a lot going on there. Kind of overwhelming really. Wouldn’t you prefer to just nestle up and feel close to that familiar body that you first called home instead, and have a litttle boobie?
I suggest having a lot of snacking going on to start to transition him into food meals, you eat too and you could bribe a little like “try the snack before boobie?” like helping him get the taste for it. It will probably take several weeks of consistent trying for him to actually decide he would like this stuff. So try that for a bit and see how it goes.
It must be quite draining for you to be bf so much, so make sure you are looking after yourself as much as possible too. Remember he is watching you and so you are teaching him to care for himself. You want to demonstrate boundaries for him so he can use them in his life. That said, it sounds like you are doing a great job of managing your rainbow baby
Edit: for clarity
ecclesiastian
New member
@joejefferson The WHO does not recommend breastfeeding exclusively with no food until 2. They recommend breastfeeding until at least 2 but not exclusively. Breastfeeding exclusively for that long would be dangerous and leave the kid malnourished
joejefferson
New member
@ecclesiastian Sorry that is my mistake, I did write it to look like no food, and it is recommended to drink breast milk instead of potentially unclean water sources. The point I was trying to make was breastfeeding a lot at 19 months shouldn’t have the additional shame that can be carried with it in our culture. Thank you for adding that point.
sharonv777
New member
@joejefferson I met a woman from Ghana in the waiting room at my 6 week postpartum checkup. We were talking about nursing when she saw me feeding my baby. She nursed her kids until they were in Kindergarten and apparently the last one only weaned when he did because his friends said they wouldn’t play with him anymore until he stopped doing that. 
lukester09
New member
@joejefferson YOU ARE THE FREAKING BESTTTTTTTTT
joejefferson
New member
@lukester09 Hope it helps 