@pastorchrisparker It’s 2020, you can feed your baby without shame any way you want. My baby has been feed formula from birth and is very attached to me and my husband who does an equal amount of feeding. Don’t worry at all about this, they will love you for feeding them and looking after them so well. If people ask me why I’m not breastfeeding I say ‘because it’s 2020 and I don’t have too.’ Shuts them up
@pastorchrisparker I have 5 kids. First and Fourth exclusively breastfed because I lucked out with them. Second and Third had a combination of the two. With the fifth I’m exclusively FF as of this week because I got on much needed antidepressants and it wasn’t worth the risk in my mind to have him have any of those (and the type I’m on is the only one that has worked for me/I can’t be on a non-leaching med).
You can’t tell a SINGLE difference in my kids. They’re all healthy, they’re all smart, they’re all attached to me. I still made it a point to use feeding time as snuggle and quiet time with them. I still made sure to give them lots of hugs of physical time with me. It’s made no difference in attachment. My third breastfed the least because I stopped even part time nursing at 9 months...and she’s probably the most attached to me. I suspect my fifth will similarly be healthily attached because I’m healthy and pursuing being even healthier. Attachment is so much more than just what food is going into a baby’s belly.
@swissbts22 I love kids - I nannied infants and worked at my moms school with 3 and 4 year olds. I nannied first a 3 year old for a year and almost felt like she was my kid! Not that it matters but I know I’ll be a great mom because of it and also just because in general. I think the attachment thing I’m now learning is so bogus and I’m glad you all made me see it.
@pastorchrisparker I formula fed from day one. I had two breast reductions, no way I was producing any milk. I can tell you being on the outside looking in breastfeeding culture is toxic af. They don’t care about mom’s mental or physical health. It doesn’t matter whether you breastfeed or not, your child will be attached to you. They don’t care how you take care of them, just that you do and in a loving manner.
@minister_c I had breast reduction too (once). I’m assuming already that I can’t which helps the whole having the milk makes you want to breast feed. I’ve told my friends that and their pretty supportive of me and then have had nightmares breast feeding so I’m just like hey! This is Great option now that I’m reading all these comments.
@pastorchrisparker If anyone said anything to me about breast feeding I would say ‘I’m able to feed my baby it doesn’t matter how’ or if I was real pissed I would ask how my breasts became a topic of conversation.
Edit: were you happy with your reduction? I loved mine and wouldn’t change it for anything
@minister_c Um best decision I ever made. I had double Gs and now I’m down to ddd which doesn’t seem like that much but they’re obviously now facing forward and much lighter. I had a shitty male doctor who because it was reconstructive and not “plastic surgery” he wasn’t able to give me what I wanted which was c/bs and then said “trust me honey you don’t want to go lower” so gross but he was recommended for his work so I just went with it. Even though that happened and I was grossed out he ultimately was right because they fit my body. I have tits AND ass if you will - curvy and they match well. So what the fuck do I know.
I’m so curious - did pregnancy change yours? If you’re uncomfortable you don’t have to answer.
Edit: following my mom theme she was trying to talk me out of it because of breast feeding .
@pastorchrisparker I was a triple D and went down to a C cup first round and they grew back to triple D’s even though I lost weight since my first surgery. Second surgery I went down to a D and now I’m a D or DD depending on the bra. My husband was shocked they didn’t grow an inch during pregnancy nor after. I stayed the same size right through. My mom pulled that shit too about my breast reductions and breast feeding. I told her without the reductions there would be no baby cause I was way too self conscious to date. That has seemed to shut her up for now.
@minister_c I’m glad it worked out for you. Sucks that I didn’t get to chose but my health care provided 100 percent coverage and you had to “only take out what is needed for back issues) but still I think I’m good and hey my bf ain’t mad lol. Okay that gives me hope during pregnancy because I literally cannot have double g’s again.
Edit: said the same thing to my mom. Cause I was in literal pain wtf. These hippy 60s moms are crazy.
@pastorchrisparker Omg you’ll do great! If anything my feeds became more focused when we started formula because while breastfeeding I could be hands free- scroll my phone, talk to people, eat a snack... but with bottles I needed both hands and therefore more concentration on baby. I could actually look into his eyes and talk to him while he ate which I could never do while breastfeeding due to the weird angles I needed. He’s 3 and perfectly securely attached without issues!!!
@pastorchrisparker I had a horrific experience pumping! I know it works for some but a pump never fully emptied my breasts and I got infection after infection until I was forced to stop. I was sick for 4 months and, to your question about attachment, it made it harder for baby and I to bond because I was in such a bad mental state.
Babies know your vibe. If you need psych meds and you're off of them, based on my experience, it will undo any supposed "good" you're doing with breastfeeding. Your baby will know you from day 1 and that beautiful amazing bond is possible with or without a boob.
Just a personal anecdote to add to all the great science in these comments!
@tikiana Yes! This was something I was thinking about. I was like I’m not going to bond with the baby because I’m going to be so mentally drained. The bottle feeding co-responsibilities is really helping me with perspective. I’ve honestly seen people pumping and go - well that will be my responsibility and it gave me so much stress because I knew nothing about FF. Thank you!
@pastorchrisparker My brother and I were EFF and we are still obsessed with our wonderful mom, into our 30s. We call her literally once a day.
My EFF baby is 6 months now and he is equally obsessed with me AND my husband because we both get to feed him! He is our biggest fans and it is the most wonderful feeling. Sometimes he wants us both around when he eats, especially if he sees us in the same room. My husband feeds him and I hold his little hands. It’s great.
@lordsservant121 Haha glad I’m not the only one obsessively calling their mom. I really am loving the idea of both of us feeding. I’m very in to equal partnership and from what I’m learning it’s a great way to practice it.
@pastorchrisparker I havent read too far in the comments but its a choice. My thoughts are that FF and BF are equally okay. I think the hype is because it is “natural” and I think a lot of removal of stigma around BF is making it sound and look like FF is bad. I always told myself 'FED IS BEST' but you bet after a month of trying to BF/EPing I was torn. We were just entering quarantine for COVID my husband was encouraging me to keep trying. My breasts hurt. My son was given a bottle at 2 days old because he had jaundice. So I was pumping... every 3 hours to immediately give milk to my son. I was so frazzled and mentally broken. I spent a TON of money on trying things for pain, up my supply and become “unattached” to the pump so I can spend more time with my son. He was probably 7 weeks old when I gave in and dried up my supply. I dont regret it now but then I felt like a huge utter failure. I feel like I failed him AND my husband. My husband knew mentally I couldnt do it. Nothing is worse than sitting for hours of my day pumping and pumping and pumping, when we could simply just make a bottle of formula and my son would be okay. We supplemented pretty much right away so my son always had half formula and half breastmilk. He is healthy and happy! Hitting milestones early and super smart!
My mom FF... my husband was FF... we turned out okay and trust me todays formula is 1000000000% better.
@jli57772 Yes! My boyfriend is very supportive of FF and actually suggested for us to look in to it because he was also FF. With my mom I never knew it was an option.
