@pastorchrisparker i think this mentality comes and goes in cycles. i was born in the late 80s, as was my husband, and my siblings were also all born in the late 80s-early 90s. our mothers formula-fed all of us. and pretty much all of my friends in the same age group were formula-fed as well. i think perhaps it was because more and more women were in the workforce at that time, and formula was encouraged.
i think in recent years, with the focus on natural, organic foods and products, breastfeeding is making a comeback. also, the new flexibility in the workplace, with nursing rooms in offices and the option to work remotely seems to give this idea of "well all these perks are here, i should use them." but that's just my opinion and observation based on articles and posts i've read around breastfeeding. the two really seem to go hand-in-hand.
i was on the fence about breastfeeding, not really for the "benefits" but more like a biological curiosity. like, wow, my body grew this child for 9 months and i got mammalian boobies that have been evolutionary developed to feed him - i'm super curious! i love science! lol.
but the language around breastfeeding REALLY turned me off. read any book or any pamphlet about breastfeeding from your doctor's office, and usually one of the FIRST "benefits" is that breastfeeding HELPS YOU LOSE BABY WEIGHT FASTER! i'm sorry, what? it just strikes me as SO manipulative towards women who might already be unsure or sad about their changing bodies. ugh. (also, anecdotally, not true - i was strict FF from the beginning and lost all my baby weight by 2 weeks postpartum, while i know other women who BF and didn't lose the weight until after they weaned)
regarding attachment - my baby boy fucking loves me lol. and he LOVES his daddy, who is able to feed him as well. the division of labor between me and husband is awesome, and our child totally loves us. he's 4 months old and when we walk in his room to get him, he smiles and giggles and totally brightens up at the sight of us. he still looks up at me from his bottle when he's feeding with his big beautiful eyes and holds my thumb or strokes my boobs while he's feeding.
regarding mental health - motherhood is hard. it just is. i'm happy i made the decision to go with formula because i know how i am - i can get very bitter when i feel like i'm doing the lions share of the work. i see other moms dealing with this in my bumpers sub and facebook page now. they're exhausted from it and dealing with the frustrations of husbands who, to them, don't seem like they're pulling their weight. for me, when baby's hungry, my husband makes a bottle and sits down and feeds him. no worries, no fuss, no questions asked. it's pretty great.
regarding judgement - well, you can't make everyone happy. my family and friends know i'm formula feeding and we've gotten some raised eyebrows and "oh..."s but most of those people eventually made the switch to formula themselves for various reasons. my doctors are totally unconcerned and they're really supportive so that's what matters. and my son is killin' it in the health department. he is fed, happy, and has been sleeping through the night since 2 months old. i can deal with judgement as i'm well-rested and happy lol.
good luck in whatever you choose!