@pastorchrisparker Not at all!
Sleeping shifts have changed drastically.
Context: baby is always swaddled up tight, has sound machine for white noise, and is in a room with black out curtains, and sleeps in her own crib.
Initially, we were planning on doing every other feeding to swap off. The problem was that our kid had terrible acid reflux and was crying from 8pm-2am. So we had to take that into account. If we're feeding the baby in 3 hour shifts, then there'd be the 7pm-10, then 10-1 crying shifts, which left the 1-4 and 4-7 shifts as the quieter of them. We always have the option of tagging the other person in when we are at our wits end.
We started working with our kid and a post partum doula, which is how we finally learned how bad her reflux was (got an Rx to help- kind of bad), and validation that not every parent gets this experience and we have a stubborn child to begin with.
Our new schedule is "Shit shift" vs "non-shit shift." The shit shift is the initial bed time section. We've been getting our baby to stop crying by 10pm or so, she gets fed and then she's out for the rest of the night until about 2 am when she gets fed and diaper changed. If it times out all right, then we get to sleep until 7 am when we start her day. So rough 'schedule' splice is 7-1 and 1-7. We then alternate nights, so neither of us gets the shit shift two nights in a row unless its agreed on.
Lately, its gotten better, as she's pulling out of the colic weeks (she's going on week 8 now from her birthday, age adjusted 2 months since she was 10 days late ). So her crying and resisting sleep is now at about 30 mins to 60 mins. Once she's out, we'll do a dream feed around 10pm, to top her off and she's good to go for several hours. Our pediatrician has basically said, let her sleep as long as she wants to, so we do at night. The longest stretch has been 5.5 hours.
The other bit that has helped on sleeping is a choice we made a few weeks ago that works best for us. We put her in her nursery. She is not sleeping in our room anymore. We have a camera and we'll sleep with the monitor next to us with the volume up, so whoever is on duty can be woken by her. This is purely a personal choice, and it did several things for us. It made it so whoever is on shift, can go out of the bedroom and take the monitor too so that the crying isn't impacting the sleeping person as much, but also we don't have get startled awake by baby grunts. Whoever said the phrase "sleep like a baby" has never slept near a baby, they are LOUD.
When we have the nanny, we intentionally have her come over for 10-12 hours. Her entire job and goal is to let us both sleep, and she's in charge of the baby. Since we are EFF, that means she doesn't have to get me up in the night to feed the baby, she can just grab a bottle and do the night feeds. IF you've pumped and have a bottle ready, it'd be the same route too. On the 2nd week home, I looked for a post partum Doula/new born care specialist (frequently called night nanny) because neither of us was sleeping and I was about to have a mental break down. They are expensive, but when you're exhausted and have no idea whats wrong, they are worth it. Added to this, we have no family in the area, and neither of us grew up with or spent a lot of time around newborns, so we needed hands on assistance.
Sleeping shifts have changed drastically.
Context: baby is always swaddled up tight, has sound machine for white noise, and is in a room with black out curtains, and sleeps in her own crib.
Initially, we were planning on doing every other feeding to swap off. The problem was that our kid had terrible acid reflux and was crying from 8pm-2am. So we had to take that into account. If we're feeding the baby in 3 hour shifts, then there'd be the 7pm-10, then 10-1 crying shifts, which left the 1-4 and 4-7 shifts as the quieter of them. We always have the option of tagging the other person in when we are at our wits end.
We started working with our kid and a post partum doula, which is how we finally learned how bad her reflux was (got an Rx to help- kind of bad), and validation that not every parent gets this experience and we have a stubborn child to begin with.
Our new schedule is "Shit shift" vs "non-shit shift." The shit shift is the initial bed time section. We've been getting our baby to stop crying by 10pm or so, she gets fed and then she's out for the rest of the night until about 2 am when she gets fed and diaper changed. If it times out all right, then we get to sleep until 7 am when we start her day. So rough 'schedule' splice is 7-1 and 1-7. We then alternate nights, so neither of us gets the shit shift two nights in a row unless its agreed on.
Lately, its gotten better, as she's pulling out of the colic weeks (she's going on week 8 now from her birthday, age adjusted 2 months since she was 10 days late ). So her crying and resisting sleep is now at about 30 mins to 60 mins. Once she's out, we'll do a dream feed around 10pm, to top her off and she's good to go for several hours. Our pediatrician has basically said, let her sleep as long as she wants to, so we do at night. The longest stretch has been 5.5 hours.
The other bit that has helped on sleeping is a choice we made a few weeks ago that works best for us. We put her in her nursery. She is not sleeping in our room anymore. We have a camera and we'll sleep with the monitor next to us with the volume up, so whoever is on duty can be woken by her. This is purely a personal choice, and it did several things for us. It made it so whoever is on shift, can go out of the bedroom and take the monitor too so that the crying isn't impacting the sleeping person as much, but also we don't have get startled awake by baby grunts. Whoever said the phrase "sleep like a baby" has never slept near a baby, they are LOUD.
When we have the nanny, we intentionally have her come over for 10-12 hours. Her entire job and goal is to let us both sleep, and she's in charge of the baby. Since we are EFF, that means she doesn't have to get me up in the night to feed the baby, she can just grab a bottle and do the night feeds. IF you've pumped and have a bottle ready, it'd be the same route too. On the 2nd week home, I looked for a post partum Doula/new born care specialist (frequently called night nanny) because neither of us was sleeping and I was about to have a mental break down. They are expensive, but when you're exhausted and have no idea whats wrong, they are worth it. Added to this, we have no family in the area, and neither of us grew up with or spent a lot of time around newborns, so we needed hands on assistance.
do what is best for you. Don't give 2 minds to what people say or think.
