Being a parent is a neverending gig

[lubear]

Do you sometimes need a break?

Being a parent is a neverending gig and we can't be "cool parents" all the time. Unpaid bills, broken cars, or daily life can get us down. (That is what happen to me yesterday)

And then, our kids need us right away. Sometimes, it's hard not to overreact, and then we feel guilty.

I believe showing kids both good and bad can be positive. It helps them handle feelings, and grow resilience, and empathy.

Anyway, we're all on this parenting journey together! How do you talk with your kid about emotions or mommy/daddy overreacting? Do you apologize to your kids?

 

[albertacamus]

@lubear Definitely apologize. And explain why you overreacted.
Make sure they are aware it's not their fault.
That's what you would do with any human being.

They did not chose to be here.
Best you can do is give them the tools and awareness to live a normal life.

Sorry if it sounds a bit harsh

Edit: kids learn by example, so if you take responsibility they'll too

 

[lubear]

@albertacamus I definitely agree with you. If not explained, the reason why a mom or dad is overreacting might lead the child to think that he or she is not good enough. This can have consequences in their future life. Thx)

 

[bluehere]

@lubear My son is 14mo & I'm (27F) a SAHM. I experience an overreaction to something & I apologize to my child, even if he doesn't understand.

My job is 24/7 & I feel like a single parent, even though I have my partner. He doesn't help with any nighttime stuff & when I bring up him doing a nighttime thing, he responds "but I have to work". I'm exhausted, I'm an insomniac, but I don't complain to him, because he then tries to gaslight me & make me feel bad for him because he's not pulling his weight in the child rearing department.

I'm experiencing some burnout & I'm so ready for summer because then I have a whole new routine because of the weekly free activities in the town square & surrounding area.

 

[pleaseprayformeplz]

@bluehere He should be helping out more.

Really, both parents should try to split parenting duties equally when they are both home.

 

[jesusineedyou]

@pleaseprayformeplz Not necessarily split equally. When I am home I will often take the bulk of child care for my SAH wife. This gives her the opportunity to rest and recharge.

 

[pleaseprayformeplz]

@jesusineedyou Agreed. I didn't word that quite right

 

[lubear]

@pleaseprayformeplz Yes, and even when one is not at home for the entire day. If one returns home and can get some rest, but another person is in a 24/7 rush.

 

[lubear]

@bluehere

My son is 14mo & I'm (27F) a SAHM. I experience an overreaction to something & I apologize to my child, even if he doesn't understand.

My job is 24/7 & I feel like a single parent, even though I have my partner. He doesn't help with any nighttime stuff & when I bring up him doing a nighttime thing, he responds "but I have to work". I'm exhausted, I'm an insomniac, but I don't complain to him, because he then tries to gaslight me & make me feel bad for him because he's not pulling his weight in the child rearing department.

I'm experiencing some burnout & I'm so ready for summer because then I have a whole new routine because of the weekly free activities in the town square & surrounding area.

I am so sorry to hear that you aren't receiving help, or at least not as much as you desire. I believe that parenting is one of the most complex tasks, requiring constant attention 24/7. Wishing you all the best.

 

[sastian]

@bluehere I was told this once.

‘Anybody can hold a glas of water. But nobody can hold a glass of water forever’

Ask for a break from night time stuff, make it the weekend if it can’t affect his work.

 

[bluehere]

@sastian Tried that a few times, I still had to get up. I once woke him up & said "your turn" & that pissed him enough that I heard about it for three days. So I'm SOL there

 

[pleaseprayformeplz]

@lubear I certainly apologize if I get frustrated with my kids.

I try not to, and it rarely happens that I actually get upset with them.

I take a camping trip without the kids every year with my buddies and take psychedelics. It keeps me going all year long. Lol

This weekend I'm going camping!

You gotta make sure you take at least a little time for yourself.

 

[lubear]

@pleaseprayformeplz

I am so sorry to hear that you aren't receiving help, or at least not as much as you desire. I believe that parenting is one of the most complex tasks, requiring constant attention 24/7. Wishing you all the best.

sounds pretty good. we all deserve a rest.

 

[selenad]

@lubear Yes I apologize. I also add context (tired, full head,...), and that I'm still learning to control my emotions better. My son is also struggling with this, so we give each other tips

 

[lubear]

@selenad I believe we are all on the same parenting journey. However, some people prefer to claim that everything is okay.

 

[dylanrowe1]

@lubear I do apologize, and I explain that sometimes I get really frustrated and mad when no one is listening to me, and everyone is being all loud and crazy, which I think the kids get.

I think its good for kids to see their parents absolutely lose their shit once and awhile. Parents are human beings and have normal human emotions. I’m not a robot. And why did you think it was a good idea to put 4 rolls of toilet paper into the toilet? And STOP HITTING PEOPLE!

 

[elvent]

@lubear Absolutely apologize to kids. Grew up with my dad losing his shit on us, yelling at us for stuff that honestly wasn't our fault. Never once received an apology from him for it, and I still resent him to this day for it (I'm 26F now)

I still yell at my kiddo more than I'd like, but I do my best to apologize when I yell at him, and am sure to shower him with physical affection 99% of the time

 

[fararahman]

@lubear I try to stop myself and tell my kid I need a few minutes before i get to that point…doesnt always work LOL but afterwards yes definitely I apologize.

 

[pastorlaws]

@lubear Before kids i always harped on how being a SAHM wasn't a real job now that I have kids I get it and every time I'm having a break down my husband says, "what's the big deal you said it wasn't a real job" coming from a man who once wanted 8 kids and then decided after 1 he couldn't handle any more.