I remember on cycle 1, I had fully convinced myself it worked. I had quite the appetite, some nausea, bigger boobs, and overall just felt. It had to be it, I'd never felt that way before! Boom, period. Ok fine, obviously let's keep trying this was just the first time. By month 6, I'm like...ok....what gives? Is something wrong? Maybe we didn't time it correctly, we should be more strict, let's continue to do every other day no matter what. Cycle 8....nothing still, deep levels of frustrations and failure, but it's ok in addition to every other day, I'll do OPKs and BBT. Got it now we've narrowed it down, we've got this! Failure, after failure, after failure. That's ok...I'll go see a doctor, see what he says. I've got a period like clockwork, am healthy, maybe we aren't doing this right. Everything looks good by the doctor! Ok great that's exciting, nothing is wrong, let's keep going! More failures. I've never had a late period, or even gone so far as to be able to test. Ok fine, let's try this Clomid/Letrazole timed IC, this will be great, they can confirm if eggs are mature and about when I'll ovulate so I can match my OPKs and BBT. Big plus, chance of multiples! Now I can really get a chance at catching up to the vision we had for our family without feeling like time was lost. Same thing, failure after failure, always on the dot.
Now on cycle 16...at this point, I don't trust my body, my brain, or myself at all. That glimmer of hope of motivation to move towards something great as died. Our hopes and dreams, gone. I've never seen a positive in my life. Is this even possible for me? Will I ever? At this point, I cannot imagine a world where this dream of ours will come true. I'm truly in shock, disbelief, denial. How could something like this happen to anyone? We've been told to protect because it's so easy to get pregnant, but it hardly feels that way at all. We're told to put your career first, then start a family. Was that why, am I being punished, or did I wait too late?
Brought to you by cramping, a temp drop, and a BFN this morning. Welcome, Aunt F***.
Now on cycle 16...at this point, I don't trust my body, my brain, or myself at all. That glimmer of hope of motivation to move towards something great as died. Our hopes and dreams, gone. I've never seen a positive in my life. Is this even possible for me? Will I ever? At this point, I cannot imagine a world where this dream of ours will come true. I'm truly in shock, disbelief, denial. How could something like this happen to anyone? We've been told to protect because it's so easy to get pregnant, but it hardly feels that way at all. We're told to put your career first, then start a family. Was that why, am I being punished, or did I wait too late?
Brought to you by cramping, a temp drop, and a BFN this morning. Welcome, Aunt F***.
after 12 cycles we finally got pregnant, only to have a miscarriage at 18 weeks. Now we’re back at square one. What a cruel thing, no one should ever have to go through this. Sending you a big hug 
life is so unfair 
. I hope your operation and recovery goes well, and that you find ways to cope with your absolutely shitty situation.