@nickblack I have a question too after seeing this method mentioned lately! Do you use a white noise machine at night?
Anyone else following the Possums sleep approach?
- Thread starter youcantsitwithus
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jesusisnear7
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@nickblack Thank you so much for replying!!
@jesusisnear7 Wish you the best!
@jesusisnear7 Are you here after someone mentioned possums in a recent post on science based parenting!? Because same here haha
micheldell
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jesusisnear7
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my friend sent me this post!! Not sure what brought it to her attention!!@youcantsitwithus I have been trying that approach too. I apologize if my post comes off as negative, I am just very frustrated. My almost 1 year old wakes up at least 3 times a night, every night. Sometimes, like last night, it is every 1-2 hours. If I am very, very lucky she might sleep 5 hours.
I am completely exhausted. This has been going on for a month and a half, since our family moved. While I suspect the move and her teething may be the root cause, I have no solutions.
I found the information helpful with Possums but she doesn't really address how to manage these excessive night wakings. She just says to attend to the child lovingly. But that means, for example, last night I was up at 10:50, 11:37, 12:30, 2:41, and 4:24 (I have been keeping a sleep log) before my husband got her up for the day. Basically nursing/rocking/singing to baby. This is not sustainable. I am frustrated, angry, exhausted.
Sleep deprivation is a form of torture.
Do you have any suggestions? We do lots of things, during the day, parks, walks, playgrounds, the pool, "new places, new faces.". And then every night is the same. But I can't live like this.
I am completely exhausted. This has been going on for a month and a half, since our family moved. While I suspect the move and her teething may be the root cause, I have no solutions.
I found the information helpful with Possums but she doesn't really address how to manage these excessive night wakings. She just says to attend to the child lovingly. But that means, for example, last night I was up at 10:50, 11:37, 12:30, 2:41, and 4:24 (I have been keeping a sleep log) before my husband got her up for the day. Basically nursing/rocking/singing to baby. This is not sustainable. I am frustrated, angry, exhausted.
Sleep deprivation is a form of torture.
Do you have any suggestions? We do lots of things, during the day, parks, walks, playgrounds, the pool, "new places, new faces.". And then every night is the same. But I can't live like this.
youcantsitwithus
New member
@mandy2010 Really sorry you're going through this. I've noticed teething makes a huge impact, as my now 1 year old son is clearly getting molars (tugging at his ears, putting his fingers and teething objects deep into his mouth). What has worked for us is a consistent wake up time (7:30am every day, and at the very least letting as much sunshine and morning noise into the room at that time) and experimenting with daytime sleep. Basically I won't let him sleep more than 2 hours during the day - 1 1/2 hours is the sweet spot these days. If he does for whatever reason, we push bath time and bedtime to accommodate (but as all parents know, those evening hours are sacred ME time!) I totally know what you're going through and in my opinion it's the teething - my son has been on the boob constantly at night, and I know he's not normally like this. I would tell you the same - your daughter may just be in pain and need comfort. I also make sure my partner is in the loop always as sometimes it's crucial for me to sleep in because my son has woken me up so many times at night. So my husband will do the morning/breakfast routine and let me sleep. Oh - one other thing I've been doing is feeding him solids between bath time and bedtime. I feel like it helps him sleep a longer first stretch since he's got a full belly. Keep me posted, and good luck! You got this - it will get better!!
@mandy2010 I am experiencing the same thing. I find it strange the Possums literature doesn’t address excessive night waking, it mentions it but doesn’t offer any advice on how to deal with it. I see you wrote this several years ago, I’m wondering what you ended up doing?
@marston7 Thank you for thinking my my family. That is very kind of you.
Once we moved from an apartment to house she started sleeping through the night in a matter for days. We have never had a regression and it’s been several years. Her sister slept well until 6 months and then we had a lot of issues for over a year. I weaned her sister off nursing at 20 months and now she is sleeping through the night too. And now I am pregnant with my 3rd so we shall see…
The best advice I can give to someone going through the night wakings is split the shifts with your partner. My husband would watch (our oldest) from 7-midnight and I would do the rest of the night. That gave me about 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Nap as much as possible. Ear plugs and white noise if you feel yourself reaching that point where you aren’t safe to care for your child.
Once we moved from an apartment to house she started sleeping through the night in a matter for days. We have never had a regression and it’s been several years. Her sister slept well until 6 months and then we had a lot of issues for over a year. I weaned her sister off nursing at 20 months and now she is sleeping through the night too. And now I am pregnant with my 3rd so we shall see…
The best advice I can give to someone going through the night wakings is split the shifts with your partner. My husband would watch (our oldest) from 7-midnight and I would do the rest of the night. That gave me about 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Nap as much as possible. Ear plugs and white noise if you feel yourself reaching that point where you aren’t safe to care for your child.
@mandy2010 Interesting! What do you think made the difference between an apartment and house? Maybe noise levels or something else? Was your baby sharing the room with you or sleeping in her own room?
@gaby9533 I have no idea! I was happy to get out of the apartment and a house so maybe she picked up on my mood? She wasn’t in our room because the pediatrician suggested putting her in her own room and she was 10 months at the time. In the apartment she slept out in the common area so maybe the light from our balcony window upset her? If only babes could talk.
@youcantsitwithus How interesting! My baby is also 11 months old, I still breast feed A LOT during the day and the night.
The approach doesn’t mention how babies are supposed to fall asleep? Because my baby “wakes up“ (aka needs the boob to connect 2 sleep cycles) every 1-2 (If I’m very lucky every 3) hours and it’s so exhausting... I breast him to sleep (sometimes i rock him into sleep) I and I’ve heard that I shouldn‘t
So basically he is not able to fall asleep by himself.
What does Possums approach suggest?
Awesome that you shared your knowledge and experience! Thank you!!
The approach doesn’t mention how babies are supposed to fall asleep? Because my baby “wakes up“ (aka needs the boob to connect 2 sleep cycles) every 1-2 (If I’m very lucky every 3) hours and it’s so exhausting... I breast him to sleep (sometimes i rock him into sleep) I and I’ve heard that I shouldn‘t
So basically he is not able to fall asleep by himself.What does Possums approach suggest?
Awesome that you shared your knowledge and experience! Thank you!!
youcantsitwithus
New member
@edpamkaz Possums is very pro-breastfeeding! I also nurse my little one to sleep, though as he's gotten a bit older my husband is also able to rock/bounce or sing him to sleep. (I don't know any babies who are not sleep trained that can fall asleep by themselves. It's very normal for them to need you to help!) I think at this age, your baby's night wakings may be considered excessive, so trying some of the suggested points could help! I would also really recommend watching the video, or even browsing their free resources on their website
@worth Hi! Sorry for my late answer: I did sleep coaching in Germany with an attachment parenting sleep coach when he was 13 months old. No letting babys cry on their own. I had to track during the night (and day!)when my baby would want to breast feed. Then after a week or so she analyzed it. We adjusted the sleeping schedule working with sleep pressure. So my baby had been awake for way too long or the opposite. This already helped a lot. Then my coach made clear that I was absolutely necessary that I had to be clear in my head for what I wanted. Be consequent what I do, say and want in my heart. So from breast feeding 15 times a night (especially when he was sick or had a hard day) I slowly took one breast feeding session away. One after another. Of course he cried when I said “no sorry baby I won’t give you the boob by I’m here for you, I know you’re angry at me and that’s ok I’m here for you”. So I never ever left him alone crying. I talked to him. And I remember that I was important not to substitute the boob with rocking him into sleep or a bottle of milk. I would lie next to him, hold him even if the crying was a lot but not letting him sleep on my arms. Only next to me. It wasn’t easy. But he felt save the whole time. Sleep got so much better. Still, he slept through the night when he was almost 2,5 old when I finally stopped breast feeding at all….
@aric10 There are so many and so many different ones. I tried 1001Nacht first when he was 8 months old but it didn’t work for us at all. Then with one coach who had also the qualification of Familienberaterin nach Katia Saalfrank she was great. The cost of the coaching has risen so much now though. If you’re still interested I can give you the name.