youcantsitwithus
New member
Update!:
For those asking about my experience, I’m going to do my best to concisely explain the main points of the approach, and add my personal experience as well.
Possums is a sleep research institute that focuses on maternal well being, breastfeeding, and infant/toddler sleep (and how these factors intersect). They take a science-based approach to sleep, and I’m told it’s the only approach that is 100% based on real sleep science.
Possums approach to infant/toddler sleep is cue-based. Meaning watch your baby, learn your baby’s cues. No one-size-fits-all approach, just some basic understanding of sleep science, and some tweaks you can make based on what you feel is an issue.
(Disclaimer: I think most everyone subscribed to this sub knows infants and toddlers are meant to wake throughout the night, so please keep that in mind. This isn’t going to be a magic approach that allows your kiddo to sleep for 12 hours straight.)
What are the biological factors that control sleep?
We try to wake up at 7:30 every morning (this part is hard but if I notice more frequent night wake ups, then I try to kick my ass back into gear on this front lol)
First thing in the morning, we put him in his high chair by a bright window and have breakfast. Hello circadian clock!!
My son takes 2 daytime naps most of the time, these days he can take 1, we just go with what happens each day based on his cues. If he has less daytime sleep than I expect, I consider doing a slightly earlier bath and bedtime. I never force anything, he sleeps when he’s good and ready because fighting him to nap or go to bed is pointless.
Obviously COVID days have been a challenge, but I still try to get him in the yard, water play, sensory play, a new puzzle, playing with the dogs, visiting grandma, even a play date here and there. Drive in the car, walk around the block, we recently took him to the beach and he loved it. Stimulating that growing brain!
Bathtime can be anytime between 6:30 and 7:30, again based on how the day has been. After bath time he goes to bed within the hour on most days. When he’s not teething, leaping, or mastering some other milestone (he just took his first steps) he’ll wake 1 to 3 times from bedtime to 7:30am and that’s just to dream feed (we bed share).
We experimented with how much daytime sleep is ideal for him at this stage. That’s to say, I wake him up from his naps so he doesn’t sleep more than 2 hours total during the day. Again, that is for our little one, every baby has different sleep preferences and needs. Waking a ton during the night? Try implementing some of the Possums suggestions, and if you’re at your wits end, they offer Skype consultations and the parents I know who have done them have been really happy as they tailor their suggestions to your specific situation (they ask you a ton of questions!)
Happy to answer any specific questions. You can buy their sleep video (I think it's $40? and it's a non-profit institute so it's not some money grab) and see Dr. Pamela Douglas give the overview, and even watch some sleep consults with families. In general I love the holistic approach, I love that they focus on maternal health (I do deep breathing as I nurse him to sleep for bedtime, and in general I'm not stressing about his sleep anymore and that has done wonders for my life.)
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I feel so lucky to have stumbled across the Possums Sleep Clinic through various facebook group conversations (specifically The Beyond Sleep Training Project) and it has really done wonders for my stress and my son's sleep (started when he was 4 months, he is now 11 months). I've since deleted my Facebook (for other reasons) and this subreddit has been a great resource, so I thought I'd try to connect with other parents who may be following Possums.
For anyone interested: https://possumsonline.com/
For those asking about my experience, I’m going to do my best to concisely explain the main points of the approach, and add my personal experience as well.
Possums is a sleep research institute that focuses on maternal well being, breastfeeding, and infant/toddler sleep (and how these factors intersect). They take a science-based approach to sleep, and I’m told it’s the only approach that is 100% based on real sleep science.
Possums approach to infant/toddler sleep is cue-based. Meaning watch your baby, learn your baby’s cues. No one-size-fits-all approach, just some basic understanding of sleep science, and some tweaks you can make based on what you feel is an issue.
(Disclaimer: I think most everyone subscribed to this sub knows infants and toddlers are meant to wake throughout the night, so please keep that in mind. This isn’t going to be a magic approach that allows your kiddo to sleep for 12 hours straight.)
What are the biological factors that control sleep?
- The sleep/wake homeostat: As long as you’re awake, sleep pressure is building. Sleeping relieves that sleep pressure. Adults can be awake for longer, and relieve most/all their sleep pressure at night (bedtime) when there’s a big drop-off i.e. We sleep for 7 or 8 hours and wake up rested and ready for another day (not us moms, I know I know lol). Infants and toddlers can’t stay awake as long, so they need to relieve some of that sleep pressure throughout the day (via naps!) This doesn’t mean they need to have these huge drop offs in sleep pressure throughout the day, but simply taking the edge off the sleep pressure (a 20 minute nap can do this, as some of you have undoubtedly witnessed when your kiddo naps for 15 and wakes up with plenty of energy). Infants and toddlers will also see the biggest drop off in sleep pressure at the end of the night for bedtime.
- Circadian Rhythm. I’m sure most of you are familiar. We are creatures of this planet! We are awake with the sun, and asleep when it’s dark.
- There is no such thing as being over-tied. To make sure your infant is dialed down (not fussy, cranky, fighting sleep) and those 2 biological sleep regulators can do their job, you should ensure your little one has plenty of nourishing stimulation outside the home (damn you, COVID!!) and nursing/feeding is well established. Nourishing stimulation means sunshine, new experiences, new faces, (all the things COVID has robbed us of lol) but basically take your baby with you on your errands. Stop watching the clock. As long as their brains are stimulated, they are getting sunshine, and they’re fed, those sleep regulators will kick in and they. will. nap!
- Daytime naps: Because we are not trying to have this huge drop off in sleep pressure (let’s save that for bedtime!) we should encourage little ones to only take the sleep they need during the day. To do that, we let them nap in daylight with regular daytime sounds around them (no blackout curtains, no sound machine). 15 min nap? Fine. 20 minute nap? Fine. 30 min? 1 hour? Fine! If they wake up horribly upset, you can try to get them down for longer, if not, carry on with the day!
- Bedtime: This is when we want the sleep pressure to be high, so I’ve heard Possums parents discuss capping naps at a certain hour (lots of experimentation with naps/bedtime based on your specific child.) Then, their sleep pressure is up, the sunlight is gone and they can get that big drop off and sleep longer stretches at night.
- Learn the difference between your baby saying “im bored, let’s do something else” and “im sleepy, time for bed.” For us, bored is fussy. Tired is rubbing eyes, staring off into space.
- Get in the habit of waking up at the same time every morning (pick a time that works for your family!) This (done consistently over 1 or 2 weeks) will help the body’s circadian rhythm regulate. Possums always recommends this first to address excessive night wakings.
- Don’t fear a later bedtime. Possums research suggests a later bedtime works better for many families (7:30-9pm is very common)
- Go with the flow! Practice mindfulness, deep breathing. Do not stress about a missed nap, a later bedtime, etc. Focus on spending time with your baby doing new exciting things (I know this sounds woo-woo but this really helped me!!) All babies are different, the range is really wide in what’s “normal” for infant sleep. Trust your baby will take the sleep they need, and the older they get, the less daytime sleep they will need, and the longer those night stretches will get.
We try to wake up at 7:30 every morning (this part is hard but if I notice more frequent night wake ups, then I try to kick my ass back into gear on this front lol)
First thing in the morning, we put him in his high chair by a bright window and have breakfast. Hello circadian clock!!
My son takes 2 daytime naps most of the time, these days he can take 1, we just go with what happens each day based on his cues. If he has less daytime sleep than I expect, I consider doing a slightly earlier bath and bedtime. I never force anything, he sleeps when he’s good and ready because fighting him to nap or go to bed is pointless.
Obviously COVID days have been a challenge, but I still try to get him in the yard, water play, sensory play, a new puzzle, playing with the dogs, visiting grandma, even a play date here and there. Drive in the car, walk around the block, we recently took him to the beach and he loved it. Stimulating that growing brain!
Bathtime can be anytime between 6:30 and 7:30, again based on how the day has been. After bath time he goes to bed within the hour on most days. When he’s not teething, leaping, or mastering some other milestone (he just took his first steps) he’ll wake 1 to 3 times from bedtime to 7:30am and that’s just to dream feed (we bed share).
We experimented with how much daytime sleep is ideal for him at this stage. That’s to say, I wake him up from his naps so he doesn’t sleep more than 2 hours total during the day. Again, that is for our little one, every baby has different sleep preferences and needs. Waking a ton during the night? Try implementing some of the Possums suggestions, and if you’re at your wits end, they offer Skype consultations and the parents I know who have done them have been really happy as they tailor their suggestions to your specific situation (they ask you a ton of questions!)
Happy to answer any specific questions. You can buy their sleep video (I think it's $40? and it's a non-profit institute so it's not some money grab) and see Dr. Pamela Douglas give the overview, and even watch some sleep consults with families. In general I love the holistic approach, I love that they focus on maternal health (I do deep breathing as I nurse him to sleep for bedtime, and in general I'm not stressing about his sleep anymore and that has done wonders for my life.)
x
---
I feel so lucky to have stumbled across the Possums Sleep Clinic through various facebook group conversations (specifically The Beyond Sleep Training Project) and it has really done wonders for my stress and my son's sleep (started when he was 4 months, he is now 11 months). I've since deleted my Facebook (for other reasons) and this subreddit has been a great resource, so I thought I'd try to connect with other parents who may be following Possums.
For anyone interested: https://possumsonline.com/
My anxiety disappeared the moment I switched mentalities and learned about possum's. I uninstalled all the tracking apps and never looked back. Her sleep just... followed her natural course. She was never a great sleeper and continued to wake up every few hours (sometimes every single hour) until I weaned her at 21 months. Now she has started sleeping through on some random nights but still wakes up once or twice most of the time. We still have her bed next to ours on the floor. Her bedtime is around 9-9.30. She sleeps about 9-10h at night and naps for 2h after lunch.