zrobinson126
New member
@pentie2003 Why can't kids be kids ffs. I'm sending you internet hugs cause it's just depressing the amount of shit thrown at our babies before they can even talk.
Annoying comments about my son being small
- Thread starter pentie2003
- Start date
emmylek2886
New member
@pentie2003 People will have something rude to say about your kid no matter what. My son is huge- off the charts for height and weight, looks much older. I sent a photo of him in a cast with a broken leg at twenty months to my grandma- only to hear on speaker phone why is a kid that big in diapers, are those adult depends, etc. I also get comments about me feeding him whole milk- he’s almost four now and you can see his ribs.
@pentie2003 He's going to start understanding these comments soon, so I'd encourage two responses: When the comment is within his hearing, go with, "He's growing great, and he's [insert a comment about one of his likes, e.g. super into songs right now. Or loves puzzles. Or can't get enough of his trucks.]." I'd even start to follow up with him after with comments about things in his control, like how you saw him practicing how to jump or run fast, etc...
If he's not around when they say it, I'd be more direct to people about it if they were friends or family, like, "Yes, he's small/average/tall for his age. What's most important to us is that he appreciate what he can do with his body and takes care of himself physically and mentally. There may be a lot of pressure to look a certain way someday, so we want to give him a good foundation now."
If he's not around when they say it, I'd be more direct to people about it if they were friends or family, like, "Yes, he's small/average/tall for his age. What's most important to us is that he appreciate what he can do with his body and takes care of himself physically and mentally. There may be a lot of pressure to look a certain way someday, so we want to give him a good foundation now."
@pentie2003 My kids were 6.5lb ish and constantly get compared to their same aged cousins.. Who were 9.5 and 10lb. Yah, shocker they're smaller.
@pentie2003 "We try not to comment on other people's bodies, I'm sure you can appreciate that"
ursulaemma
New member
@pentie2003 I view my son as an extension of my body (obviously he is his own person and may always be his true, authentic self) and when people comment on his weight, height, or general appearance I take it extremely personally, as if they are attacking my body/appearance. I’ll never understand why people think they should voice these opinions. What good is your negative comment going to do? Make him grow over night? I share your frustration.
@pentie2003 My kids were always small, hell my 11yr old just broke 50lbs! I just generally say "they're growing! That's all I care about!"
@pentie2003 I have this same situation! With almost the same age gap with my kids. It’s so annoying!!
I try to frame it as an opportunity to teach my son self-acceptance. “Ollie is perfectly Ollie sized!” and the same when they comment on how big his brother is. And then I change the subject.
I try to frame it as an opportunity to teach my son self-acceptance. “Ollie is perfectly Ollie sized!” and the same when they comment on how big his brother is. And then I change the subject.
mikechristianforumsusr
New member
@pentie2003 I understand your feelings completely. Both my daughters were preemies (31 and 33 weeks...my uterus is Fail) and I get comments about how small they are all the time. But they have clean bills of health. They're just tiny. My 1 year old, the 33 weeker, is short and only 21 lbs. She can walk and do everything expected of her age though. All that matters is they're healthy and happy. People need to know when to shut the hell up.
@pentie2003 I always respond with “what’s wrong with being small?” Or “what else do you expect” (while gesturing at my, a 95lbs 5 foot woman and my husband a 115lbs 5’6” man).
Our son is 18 months and is in the 2nd weight percentile, his height is 31.25” so shorter than average but not so much so like his weight. He’s very healthy, eats all his toddler friends under the TABLE. Developmentally perfect. He’s just small like his parents. Nothing wrong with smallness.
Our son is 18 months and is in the 2nd weight percentile, his height is 31.25” so shorter than average but not so much so like his weight. He’s very healthy, eats all his toddler friends under the TABLE. Developmentally perfect. He’s just small like his parents. Nothing wrong with smallness.
ignusanima
New member
@pentie2003 Our first was 5.4 at 36 weeks. 2nd was 6.1 at 39 and 4. 3rd was 7 even at 38 and 2. Every kid is different and averages mean nothing. I'm 5'5" and 120 pounds, hubby is 5'8"and 140 pounds. We're just small people. Its totally ok and normal really for kids to be all ranges. People get too caught up in percentiles and what they think is normal. And on another hand, most people don't mean to be offensive. They probably don't think they are. Font let it get to ya
@pentie2003 I understand complety. My daughter just turner 2 on December 2nd. She has a rare genetic condition and will be small for the rest of her life. She just hit 20lbs and is currently wearing 12 month clothes. I am always hearing comments about how small she is. I just tell them she is small but she can hold her own. People are so damn nosy and make unnecessary comments. I know it's hard but try to ignore them. Your baby is healthy and happy and that's all that matters.
katrina2017
New member
@pentie2003 I understand this, but on the opposite side because my son was 9 pounds when born. And he is 3 years old now in the 99th percentile, so he is big. And people never shut up about it, and sometimes rude. It’s annoying so I feel for you! Ignore them though, your son is perfect the way he is
@pentie2003 “His doctor is not concerned about his size so neither should anyone else.”
“He is staying on his personal growth curve perfectly so there is nothing to worry about.”
“You are comparing two different children who have different genetic combinations. Unless they were clones of each other there is no need to comment on how one looks compared to the other. This is a great way to impact both children’s self esteem - my son by people saying he’s small, his cousin by saying he’s large.”
Or my personal favourite “Does it make you feel better to make comment like this about a child? Comments that when he’s older he could hear and that could impact how he sees himself? Unless you are his personal doctor, keep your opinions to yourself.”
“He is staying on his personal growth curve perfectly so there is nothing to worry about.”
“You are comparing two different children who have different genetic combinations. Unless they were clones of each other there is no need to comment on how one looks compared to the other. This is a great way to impact both children’s self esteem - my son by people saying he’s small, his cousin by saying he’s large.”
Or my personal favourite “Does it make you feel better to make comment like this about a child? Comments that when he’s older he could hear and that could impact how he sees himself? Unless you are his personal doctor, keep your opinions to yourself.”
shulamite7
New member
@pentie2003 My son is almost 2 and he’s always been small…between 5th-10th percentile on growth charts across the board. He’s definitely the smallest boy in his daycare room. People make less comments now than they did when he was a baby, but yeah, it sucks. Why do people feel the need to comment on the body of a child? My kid is amazing - so kind, smart, and loving. I tend to remind them of that as a retort to any comments made regarding his size.
wanderer61
New member
@pentie2003 "Oh really? How tall is he supposed to be?" Most people will admit they dont know and thats where you just smile a nice stfu smile.
bigtexcookin
New member
@pentie2003 Ahh my son was born premature at 30 weeks and was 750g (1 pound 6 ounces). He has been small since birth and continues to be. I get comments all the time and I've learnt to brush them off. We are lucky he is alive and he has met all his milestones despite the bleak future the doctors prepared us for.
He is happy, healthy and his size means he will be cuter for a little longer than most babies.
He is happy, healthy and his size means he will be cuter for a little longer than most babies.
@pentie2003 I know others have commented this as well, but I swear ya can't win! Our son is 2y 3m and non verbal. However he easily looks 3 (currently wearing 3t or 4t clothes). So people are extra weird about him being speech delayed, because they assume he's older. However I'm incredibly proud of him! He really struggled to gain wait as a newborn and even lost weight between 3 and 5 months old. It was a huge concern for everyone. Now he's tall and filled out and I couldn't be happier lol. But the people who comment on his size (and speech) can piss up a rope for sure.
@pentie2003 I totally feel you on this! I think people don’t realize how annoying this crap is. My daughter is 4 now, and people have said it to me all her life. We actually did a bone age test, and figured out that she’s actually about a year younger. Hard to explain, but basically it will just take her longer to get to where she should be. Your son might be the same. Not sure if you’ve done this, but it helped me to get some perspective.
She’s actually recently had a big growth spurt and is now finally catching up on height, but still pretty skinny. I still get people making comments. I usually just say yup, and she’s perfect the way she is. People typically stop after that. Don’t worry though. We’re all different shapes and sizes. Try to ignore these negative comments!
She’s actually recently had a big growth spurt and is now finally catching up on height, but still pretty skinny. I still get people making comments. I usually just say yup, and she’s perfect the way she is. People typically stop after that. Don’t worry though. We’re all different shapes and sizes. Try to ignore these negative comments!
cascadingeternal
New member
@pentie2003 You tell the people making the comments that you’re just grateful he’s healthy & well & perfect. They might not necessarily mean he’s small for his age.. just small in general because he is a baby!