@celoxisppm I like this response because it really keeps the cards close, which is my goal.
Announcing Pregnant w 4th
- Thread starter colossal
- Start date
-
- Tags
- large families
@celoxisppm It's so crazy to me how many people seem to believe that anybody that is child in birth order three or higher just outright shouldn't exist. Despite that fact that most people probably only exist because they had an ancestor that was a fifth or sixth child or even more!
Like I get some people just feel like they financially and emotionally can't handle more than two but people are just so out of touch to act like having more than three is extreme
Like I get some people just feel like they financially and emotionally can't handle more than two but people are just so out of touch to act like having more than three is extreme
@colossal I feel this- we have a blended family so I’ve only birthed 2 (most recently 5 weeks ago!) but I was pretty quiet about it for this reason. When I felt safe enough to share my excitement- this was my only planned baby- I did use the “our family is complete” because that’s how I feel. At this point, anybody who doesn’t like it can kick rocks…ain’t nobody got time for that lol. We did forego a baby shower but are doing a sip and see.
@colossal Yea I literally just popped out number 4 and everyone keeps saying so are you gonna have a 5th? I just say nope, the van is full and I’m not buying a bus and move on. Sure it’s annoying but I choose to joke it off and just be happy knowing my family is complete. Congrats on number 4 btw, it’s been our easiest transition yet!!
@colossal Just here to say, I feel you. I’m pregnant with #4 in an area where most people stop at 1 or 2 kids. But my family is also non-traditional in a lot of other ways so I guess folks just think it’s part of our general weirdness. You’re right, you don’t owe anyone an explanation or plan for the future. People tend to back off when they realize they aren’t getting a rise out of you.
jamandcrumpets
New member
@colossal I came here only to say I know what you mean, even if I am not there (yet or maybe I will never be). I have two and I am not even sure I want a third, but I do think about what everyone would say if I will end up pregnant again. Even if it should not matter, it’s not their business. And it bothers me I even think about this.
@colossal I was also very hesitant to announce my pregnancy and it was only my 3rd 
.
And at Christmas with extended family got lots of comments similar to the ones you mentioned.
When people ask if we’re having another, my response tends to be “we’re just taking it one kid at a time for now
” and that usually ends the conversation
Also congratulations on your 4th
. And at Christmas with extended family got lots of comments similar to the ones you mentioned.
When people ask if we’re having another, my response tends to be “we’re just taking it one kid at a time for now
” and that usually ends the conversationAlso congratulations on your 4th
@einzhirov Thank you!! I actually really like this reply- short and sweet. Congratulations on yours as well!
%D7%A0%D7%95%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99
New member
@colossal I typically say something like, “We’d love a few more, but we’ll see what God gives us. He gives them one at a time for a reason 
”
But I also don’t really mind telling people how many kids we want or generally talking about our family planning. Their opinion on the matter doesn’t really impact me one way or the other, and my husband and I are on the same page, so.
Note: I live in a country where two kids with at least a 5-10 year gap is the norm. My 3 (soon to be 4) under 6 literally get double takes on the street on a daily basis. So maybe I’m just used to being considered crazy.
”But I also don’t really mind telling people how many kids we want or generally talking about our family planning. Their opinion on the matter doesn’t really impact me one way or the other, and my husband and I are on the same page, so.
Note: I live in a country where two kids with at least a 5-10 year gap is the norm. My 3 (soon to be 4) under 6 literally get double takes on the street on a daily basis. So maybe I’m just used to being considered crazy.
@%D7%A0%D7%95%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99
how we would rephrase this if youre pregnant with multiples? purely hypothetical bc im not even pregnant rn, but im planning on having a bunch of children
We’d love a few more, but we’ll see what God gives us. He gives them one at a time for a reason
how we would rephrase this if youre pregnant with multiples? purely hypothetical bc im not even pregnant rn, but im planning on having a bunch of children
%D7%A0%D7%95%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99
New member
@ab8907 “We’d love a few more, but we’ll see what happens after these ones” probably.
If it’s in passing, I generally stick with the one sentence, which is enough because most people are expressing their own feeling of stress at the idea of how many I have rather than actually curious about my family planning.
If it’s part of an actual conversation, I say we’d love more, but also that you never know if a baby is going to be born with special needs or need a lot of extra care for some reason, so we reconsider our decision after each child. We all have a limited capacity, so we’ll see how many we end up with.
Or I talk about our miscarriage and subsequent difficulty getting pregnant and how you never know if you’ll even be able to have more. So we would love more but we take things one birth at a time.
If it’s in passing, I generally stick with the one sentence, which is enough because most people are expressing their own feeling of stress at the idea of how many I have rather than actually curious about my family planning.
If it’s part of an actual conversation, I say we’d love more, but also that you never know if a baby is going to be born with special needs or need a lot of extra care for some reason, so we reconsider our decision after each child. We all have a limited capacity, so we’ll see how many we end up with.
Or I talk about our miscarriage and subsequent difficulty getting pregnant and how you never know if you’ll even be able to have more. So we would love more but we take things one birth at a time.
%D7%A0%D7%95%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99
New member
@colossal I typically say something like, “We’d love a few more, but we’ll see what God gives us. He gives them one at a time for a reason ”
But I also don’t really mind telling people how many kids we want or generally talking about our family planning. Their opinion on the matter doesn’t really impact me one way or the other, and my husband and I are on the same page, so.
Note: I live in a country where two kids with at least a 5-10 year gap is the norm. My 3 (soon to be 4) under 6 literally get double takes on the street on a daily basis. So maybe I’m just used to being considered crazy.
”But I also don’t really mind telling people how many kids we want or generally talking about our family planning. Their opinion on the matter doesn’t really impact me one way or the other, and my husband and I are on the same page, so.
Note: I live in a country where two kids with at least a 5-10 year gap is the norm. My 3 (soon to be 4) under 6 literally get double takes on the street on a daily basis. So maybe I’m just used to being considered crazy.
@%D7%A0%D7%95%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99 Thank you! I’ve never posted so I’m very excited to get a response. I like your reply. And I also think think you have a good point about being opening about talking about family planning. I guess I don’t really have a problem talking about these things with select people I’m close to, with people who are genuinely interested in our plans in what feels like a sincere and real conversation. And I may be more private than most. I also think some people are asking as a way to express a judgment or because of their own angst, and I just feel like I don’t want to indulge it.
That’s so interesting about the age gap norm! We would definitely get some double takes too haha
That’s so interesting about the age gap norm! We would definitely get some double takes too haha
%D7%A0%D7%95%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99
New member
@colossal I’m definitely not particularly private, so if people keep asking, I’m more than happy to share about our miscarriage and subsequent trouble getting pregnant again and how we’re so thankful for each child we’ve been given.
Or about how I got married at 30 after thinking I’d have to be single my whole life due to life circumstances, so I’m thrilled and thankful every day for both my marriage and these amazing children we’ve been given that I never thought I’d have.
Generally if you go hard into being positive and happy about it, people can’t really argue.
Or about how I got married at 30 after thinking I’d have to be single my whole life due to life circumstances, so I’m thrilled and thankful every day for both my marriage and these amazing children we’ve been given that I never thought I’d have.
Generally if you go hard into being positive and happy about it, people can’t really argue.
tallcotton
New member
@colossal I don’t have anything to offer for advice, other than I’m the same. I’m only 13 weeks with my 4th, but I didn’t even want to tell my family. I think it’ll be awhile before I tell most people. When we had our 3rd, we were asked “do you not have a TV in your bedroom?” Or “was it planned?” It’s so rude. My kids are decently spaced out (1st and 2nd are 2.5 years apart, 2nd and 3rd are 22 months apart, and 3rd and 4th will be almost 3 years apart) and even if they weren’t, it’s rude to ask if a baby was planned or not. My 4 kids are also all the same gender so I’m not looking forward to the “oh so you were just trying for a “blah blah blah” does that mean you’ll try for a 5th or finally stop? When in reality, I’ve said I wanted 4 kids ever since I was in my early 20s (I’m 32 now) and that’s why we went for a 4th.
TLDR; people are just rude. I don’t have advice. I just tell people it’s a good thing they’re my kids and not yours.
TLDR; people are just rude. I don’t have advice. I just tell people it’s a good thing they’re my kids and not yours.
@tallcotton My dad actually made a comment like that when we announced our third. Not quite the same wording, I believe it was "don't you guys know how to watch tv". But the way he said it, he tried to play it off as a friend of theirs said it. But then again, we were watching TV when #1 and #3 happened so 
.
.martiy1884
New member
@kristaok This was my response -- "the TV was on, thank you!"
...pregnant with baby #6 and my oldest is almost 7 years old. I can't stand people's comments. I'm also stubborn... my responses can be a bit rude. But the nerve of some people!! My mom even says how it's sad my kids don't get one on one time. I have to bite my tongue.
Edit: typo
...pregnant with baby #6 and my oldest is almost 7 years old. I can't stand people's comments. I'm also stubborn... my responses can be a bit rude. But the nerve of some people!! My mom even says how it's sad my kids don't get one on one time. I have to bite my tongue.
Edit: typo