Am I overreacting?

P

praisethelordjesuschrist

New member
So my (F26) daughter (5) was attacked by her father’s pit bull back on 12/22, with my son (7) witnessing the event. My daughter ended up in the ER with 4 areas in her face requiring stitches, which also required her to be put under conscious sedation to finish. As you can imagine, she’s completely traumatized. I have physical full time custody & her father has visitation every other weekend & some visitation as agreed upon during school holidays. The dog at that time was taken by animal control for mandatory quarantine, & I told her father that they could not return to his home until the dog was gone. He agreed, & told me that he was going to get rid of him. This wasn’t the first incident of aggression by the dog, but I’m trying to make sure that it’s the last.

I guess I’m just venting to try & see if I’m overreacting by not sending them over there; it’s now been a month without real contact & visitation, & their father has seemingly vanished as he doesn’t respond to inquiries about whether or not he will be having his visitation. To my knowledge, the dog is still in the home & without communication, I can only assume that their father & his fiancée have opted not to get rid of the dog. (To make it even worse, they have a 4 month old baby in the home that they are putting at risk, as well.)
 
@praisethelordjesuschrist
daughter (5) was attacked by her father’s pit bull

wasn’t the first incident of aggression by the dog

dog is still in the home

baby in the home
Click to expand...

I can't see how there needs to be any further demonstration of a severe and ongoing safety issue which he will not address for the sake of his children. You're sure as fuck not overreacting. My question, then, is what your attorney thinks and plans to do.
 
@katrina2017 thank you for that reassurance!

i plan to change our custody agreement so it doesn’t appear that i’m withholding visitation, to modify the language that he CAN have visitation when we both agree upon it, but taking away the entitlement to every other weekend. the dog is a clear & present danger & very frankly, i personally think he’s using it as an excuse to shirk the responsibility of visitation as is.
 
@praisethelordjesuschrist And the part that absolutely sucks is that YOU have to pay a lawyer to institute all this. YOU $$ to protect you and your daughters custody so moron won’t turn it all against you saying you’re keeping his daughter away! Did you call in the animal control telling them there is a baby in the house? I’m sure the powers that be want the dog re homed or euthanized.
 
@praisethelordjesuschrist You should not be doubting yourself. The facts speak for themselves. Any sane person would have gotten rid of their dog in this circumstance. If he chooses the dog instead of his kids, that’s something he has to live with. You cannot send them over there knowing this could happen again. You cannot trust this animal. The dog has an established pattern of behavior. Thankfully your daughter is alive. Many aren’t so fortunate. There was also the recent case where a pit bull killed two children and sent the mother to critical care. It’s sad that your ex didn’t make immediate steps to create a safe home for your daughter to recover, but that’s not on you. You get to create a safe home for your sweet babies and that’s all you need to focus on.
 
@jrod307
Any sane person would have gotten rid of their dog in this circumstance
Click to expand...

Fr. I love my good boi Cloud (great pyrenees) more than my own life. But if he turned on my son I'd take his ass out back and eliminate him myself, with tears in my eyes and heart, but absolutely 0 hesitation.

You just can't have it. The father is unbelievably irresponsible. He may be the "bio father" but he sure af ain't a dad
 
@mpax38 I have a very large dog as well. He’s reactive to other dogs but so good with my son. However same thing with if he showed aggression toward the baby, there’d be no hesitation.
 
@praisethelordjesuschrist Not an overreaction in the slightest.

I have a rescue pit mix that I have always kept a watchful eye on because while I have had him for 8 years and he’s been nothing but a sweetheart in that time, I don’t put anything past ANY dog. Because of that, my 4 year old is never left alone in a room with him. We also talk extensively about giving him his space and how to approach him/pet him/play with him/etc.

If he were to display even an ounce of aggression, he would be gone. It wouldn’t even be a question, although it would be heartbreaking.

Your child’s safety and well-being is never up for discussion.
 
@shewrote They are always, in fact, animals. I had 3 English Bull terrier and 3 kids under 3. I cannot tell you how fantastic they were with the children!!! But!!! Never ever did we leave them - even to pee, alone. And they were crated if we left, in case there was an argument between the dogs. We padlocked our fence, didn’t want kids wandering in or letting dogs out. You have to be extra responsible with strong dogs.
 
@shewrote I just want to say, I think you are handling your situation wonderfully. You are keeping your babies safe. It takes a lot of work and training, both of the dog and child, to maintain good boundaries and keep everyone safe. Good job, internet person.
 
@praisethelordjesuschrist Not at all, and he is truly a loser for being an absent father, but also for prioritizing his monster dog above all three of his kids. I’d never let my kid go over there until the mongrel is gone, you’re absolutely not in the wrong, you’re doing great OP!
 
@praisethelordjesuschrist 100% would agree with you. There's no way my child would be anywhere near that dog again. I would be absolutely fuming if I were you.

Make sure you go through proper channels if you're not following custody agreements. I'm sure our laws differ but you're always better off having it on record with the right people.

Jesus I'd really worry about that baby. We had a couple of horrific instances here in Ireland recently with kids being attacked. 1 newborn was killed, it was awful. 😞
 
@praisethelordjesuschrist Is there a way you can pursue the dog being put down (as much as I hate that) for this tiny baby’s safety? (Since ur ex seems to be a clueless moron) Not that it’s your job. And just the general safety of the public. I’m surprised they let the dog just go with the injuries your daughter had. I’m glad she is (essentially) OK.
 
@deenephew i spoke to animal control shortly after the dog was released from his mandatory quarantine after the bite; the deputy i spoke to stated that specifically because it’s his dog, & it’s his child, it’s his decision on whether or not to remove the dog from the home which makes NO sense to me & they wouldn’t pursue legal action.
 
@joeetaku I was taught by a woman that is a photographer for one of the local county morgues who had begun to collect photos and had an entire album FILLED with photos of mauled children and babies who were mortally wounded by pit bulls. I’m sorry but I’ll never understand pit bull owners. I could only look at a few pages before I had to just walk away with the knowledge that no child should go anywhere near a pit. I don’t care how many years you’ve had that dog.
 
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