@gomez2219 Men act like it's impossible to make time off for their families despite the fact that women do it all the time. If your job situation is so delicate that you cant help your wife through something like this, you need to find another job because obviously the one you have isnt conducive to being a good husband
About to miscarry at 7 wks gestational age at home alone with a 2.5 yr old
honourknight
New member
@guyfromnorway I did too and it was a horrible experience. When I wasn’t stuck in the bathroom I was so weak and dizzy. I couldn’t pick my son up or climb stairs. If my husband hadn’t been home I would have been in a very bad way.
In the end I had an incomplete miscarriage, anemia and an infection. I needed a D&C and medication anyway. I’d encourage you to schedule a D&C and ask to be on the waitlist if possible. You never know what the experience is going to be like…
In the end I had an incomplete miscarriage, anemia and an infection. I needed a D&C and medication anyway. I’d encourage you to schedule a D&C and ask to be on the waitlist if possible. You never know what the experience is going to be like…
@chris_mil I’m so sorry you have to go through this and that you will be without your husband’s help/support. That must feel daunting!
I understand your worry about something happening to you while you are alone with your toddler. I worry about this every time Im alone with my kids, even when I’m healthy!
Do you have an Apple Watch or other smart watch that tracks your heart rate and notifies an emergency service if they detect a fall or heart rate drop?
I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks at home alone over the course of approx. 10/-12 hours, all while taking care of my 4.5 year old and 20 month old.
I can’t say it was pleasant but after the initial shock and pangs/shooting pains I felt, I honestly felt a bit of sick relief that overall it wasn’t as bad as I would’ve expected.
We took it easy, watched TV when the pain was too much, I allowed both myself and them to indulge in extra treats id normally say no to. I wore a thick postpartum pad and took ibuprofen and used a heating pad for cramps and we watched both Monsters Inc and Bugs Life in one day. Those were comforting/nostalgic movies for me, a millennial mom.
Order food as much as you can afford to. And just be really kind and understanding to yourself.
Do you have a friend who could come over and hang out with your child while you lay up in bed or take a bath?
I understand your worry about something happening to you while you are alone with your toddler. I worry about this every time Im alone with my kids, even when I’m healthy!
Do you have an Apple Watch or other smart watch that tracks your heart rate and notifies an emergency service if they detect a fall or heart rate drop?
I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks at home alone over the course of approx. 10/-12 hours, all while taking care of my 4.5 year old and 20 month old.
I can’t say it was pleasant but after the initial shock and pangs/shooting pains I felt, I honestly felt a bit of sick relief that overall it wasn’t as bad as I would’ve expected.
We took it easy, watched TV when the pain was too much, I allowed both myself and them to indulge in extra treats id normally say no to. I wore a thick postpartum pad and took ibuprofen and used a heating pad for cramps and we watched both Monsters Inc and Bugs Life in one day. Those were comforting/nostalgic movies for me, a millennial mom.
Order food as much as you can afford to. And just be really kind and understanding to yourself.
Do you have a friend who could come over and hang out with your child while you lay up in bed or take a bath?
rosenberg1
New member
@chris_mil I had a missed miscarriage that was detected in what was supposed to be week 11, the baby died between week 6-7. I got the first pill the next day on a Friday. Was supposed to go to the hospital on Monday to get the rest of the pills and make sure everything came out correctly... On Sunday I started bleeding and it didn't stop. Went to the hospital where I was admitted. Ended up losing so much blood that I fainted.
For me the issue was that it had been inside me so long and the body struggled getting rid of everything so it started to "flush" it out. And the flushing was done by blood. I could not have done this at home.
There was no visible signs of the baby other than giant clots so I wouldn't have been able to bring anything to analyze either... Unless a clot is enough?
I've never had a regular MC, so can't compare to that. If you're already cramping it might be too late for a D&C, but I'm not sure what the practices are in usa.
I'd be prepared to ask someone for help.
For me the issue was that it had been inside me so long and the body struggled getting rid of everything so it started to "flush" it out. And the flushing was done by blood. I could not have done this at home.
There was no visible signs of the baby other than giant clots so I wouldn't have been able to bring anything to analyze either... Unless a clot is enough?
I've never had a regular MC, so can't compare to that. If you're already cramping it might be too late for a D&C, but I'm not sure what the practices are in usa.
I'd be prepared to ask someone for help.
nabthefool
New member
@chris_mil I'm so sorry. I found out my first pregnancy had stopped developing around 7 weeks at my 8 week ultrasound. I was 9 weeks when I finally passed the tissue. It was much more intense than I was prepared for. The bleeding was heavy for a day beforehand and was feeling like a bad period. The next morning it picked up considerably until I was laying on the floor in a fetal position trying not to panic. I didn't know it at the time but I was basically in labor and having contractions. Now that I've had 3 kids I know for sure that's what I experienced. I'm also prone to back labor and that's where I was having the most pain. Once I felt the sac pass (which was a terrible feeling- I felt like a milk jug being poured out) I immediately felt better and the bleeding slowed down. The whole process took 2-3 hours.
@chris_mil I’m so, so sorry. I miscarried at 11 weeks back in October. I won’t lie, it was awful. I had started bleeding first and then had the ultrasound with no heartbeat (after having had a healthy ultrasound with a heartbeat a few weeks earlier).
devincamary
New member
@chris_mil I’m so sorry for your loss.
We had a miscarriage at 10 weeks (about 8 weeks gestational I believe). We found out during an ultrasound on Monday, and she started bleeding the next day. Took about 4 days to fully pass, and she was in the bathroom quite often. After a few days our OB had us back in and helped remove the gestational sac.
I hope you get the space to pass it in peace and get some time to recover for yourself. Pulling for you!
We had a miscarriage at 10 weeks (about 8 weeks gestational I believe). We found out during an ultrasound on Monday, and she started bleeding the next day. Took about 4 days to fully pass, and she was in the bathroom quite often. After a few days our OB had us back in and helped remove the gestational sac.
I hope you get the space to pass it in peace and get some time to recover for yourself. Pulling for you!
thebabyelephant
New member
@chris_mil TW mention of my miscarriage experience in some detail.
So I had a missed-miscarriage last year when I had a toddler (almost 2). I had a scan at 11w which confirmed 7w fetus with no heartbeat. At 12w I took misoprostol to force the miscarriage as it was showing no signs of happening on its own. I got the shakes, diarrhoea for an hour or so, heavy bleeding and period cramping overnight, then passed a golf ball sized clot the next morning. Whilst unpleasant, I pretty much managed to be with toddler the whole time, just watching tv on the sofa with hot water bottle and pain killers. I did have hubby here too though. Could you explore the medicated route with your dr? At least it gives you certainty of when it will happen.
Is there a friend/relative or someone you could have to be with you? Or could hubby explain and get the time off work?
You might find r/miscarriage helpful as I did to read others experiences.
So sorry you’re going through this shitty experience, hope you find some help/comfort in these messages x
So I had a missed-miscarriage last year when I had a toddler (almost 2). I had a scan at 11w which confirmed 7w fetus with no heartbeat. At 12w I took misoprostol to force the miscarriage as it was showing no signs of happening on its own. I got the shakes, diarrhoea for an hour or so, heavy bleeding and period cramping overnight, then passed a golf ball sized clot the next morning. Whilst unpleasant, I pretty much managed to be with toddler the whole time, just watching tv on the sofa with hot water bottle and pain killers. I did have hubby here too though. Could you explore the medicated route with your dr? At least it gives you certainty of when it will happen.
Is there a friend/relative or someone you could have to be with you? Or could hubby explain and get the time off work?
You might find r/miscarriage helpful as I did to read others experiences.
So sorry you’re going through this shitty experience, hope you find some help/comfort in these messages x
I’m so sorry. You’re in my prayers mama.@chris_mil I went through this with a one year old. Found out two days before my husband left for a weeklong trip so I scheduled a surgical d&c the following day. The aftermath was non-existent.
If you’re unable to schedule it for a day when he’s home (and if he can’t postpone his trip by a day), there may be advocate groups who will take you and possibly arrange for childcare.
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this!
If you’re unable to schedule it for a day when he’s home (and if he can’t postpone his trip by a day), there may be advocate groups who will take you and possibly arrange for childcare.
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this!
@chris_mil I had a miscarriage about 10 years ago that far along. I bled A LOT, lots of clots. Nothing that made me pass out or anything.
I don't understand why you can't shower or take a bath? Put on her favorite tv show and sit in the bath. Just periodically ask her if she's "ok". I take showers during the day all the time with a 31 month old.
Went can't you use the toilet?? She doesn't have a potty to go in?
Why wouldn't you have time to get the sac? Use a pad, or adult diaper. Also, don't dig around with your hands! Grab a strainer/sifter and after the MC is over, throw out that sifter!
There has to be someone your husband knows, family, a friend that could come by and help out for a couple of hours.
I don't understand why you can't shower or take a bath? Put on her favorite tv show and sit in the bath. Just periodically ask her if she's "ok". I take showers during the day all the time with a 31 month old.
Went can't you use the toilet?? She doesn't have a potty to go in?
Why wouldn't you have time to get the sac? Use a pad, or adult diaper. Also, don't dig around with your hands! Grab a strainer/sifter and after the MC is over, throw out that sifter!
There has to be someone your husband knows, family, a friend that could come by and help out for a couple of hours.
conselman27
New member
@chris_mil OP how are you holding up??
@conselman27 You’re so sweet to check in! Just got back on today and I can’t believe how supportive this community is!
Husband cancelled part of his trip and I explained the situation to the OB and they got me in as an emergency for a D&C so everything is done now.
I feel like miscarriages are so common but no one talks about them and it’s so helpful to have so many people willing to share their stories here. It really makes you feel like you’re not alone.
Husband cancelled part of his trip and I explained the situation to the OB and they got me in as an emergency for a D&C so everything is done now.
I feel like miscarriages are so common but no one talks about them and it’s so helpful to have so many people willing to share their stories here. It really makes you feel like you’re not alone.
@conselman27 You’re so sweet to check in! Just got back on today and I can’t believe how supportive this community is!
Husband cancelled part of his trip and I explained the situation to the OB and they got me in as an emergency for a D&C so everything is done now.
I feel like miscarriages are so common but no one talks about them and it’s so helpful to have so many people willing to share their stories here. It really makes you feel like you’re not alone.
Husband cancelled part of his trip and I explained the situation to the OB and they got me in as an emergency for a D&C so everything is done now.
I feel like miscarriages are so common but no one talks about them and it’s so helpful to have so many people willing to share their stories here. It really makes you feel like you’re not alone.
@chris_mil I’m really really sorry for your loss. I’m a single mom and had an unexpected pregnancy when my daughter was 13 months old. I could not keep the baby by any means, since I had my daughter very premature due to eclampsia and I still take medication for my bp. I had the abortion with the pill done at 9 weeks.
I did it with her alone since I could not tell anyone. It was very traumatic mentally but phisically it was “easier” than I expected.
The pain was bad, but like a really strong menstruation. The worst pain lasted for a couple of hours. Then I could do normal things and I went to work the next day.
I did bleed a LOT. Like postpartum bleeding.
I started the process right before she went to sleep and I spent hours lying in the sofa after, with a pp pad and towels. Then I showered and next day I just used pp pads.
Again, I’m really sorry and I hope you can find the best way to go through this.
Lots of love to your family
Again, I’m really sorry and I hope you can
Edit to say that I did not recognize the gestational sac. I just noticed a lot of big pieces of tissue coming out during the first 3/4 hours, when I was bleeding the most and in the worst pain. But at least for me it was not something you could see clearly.
I did it with her alone since I could not tell anyone. It was very traumatic mentally but phisically it was “easier” than I expected.
The pain was bad, but like a really strong menstruation. The worst pain lasted for a couple of hours. Then I could do normal things and I went to work the next day.
I did bleed a LOT. Like postpartum bleeding.
I started the process right before she went to sleep and I spent hours lying in the sofa after, with a pp pad and towels. Then I showered and next day I just used pp pads.
Again, I’m really sorry and I hope you can find the best way to go through this.
Lots of love to your family
Again, I’m really sorry and I hope you can
Edit to say that I did not recognize the gestational sac. I just noticed a lot of big pieces of tissue coming out during the first 3/4 hours, when I was bleeding the most and in the worst pain. But at least for me it was not something you could see clearly.
relaxbuddy
New member
@chris_mil Your husband needs to come home. Period. This is non-negotiable.
@chris_mil I was about 8 weeks. Very, very heavy bleeding--I was bathroom bound for hours. My husband helped me, and I certainly needed help. The only pain was in the first 30 minutes. My sac must have came out right away and ripped open, I'm guessing, because I found a recognizable embryo caught in my underwear, about the size of a lima bean. I was comforted by that though, since I wanted a chance to say goodbye.
@rachelcirrito
What if the result of that is that he loses his job or loses a significant chunk of income?
What if the result of that is that he loses his job or loses a significant chunk of income?
rachelcirrito
New member
@gomez2219 What if she passes out and bleeds out meanwhile the toddler is unattended?
@rachelcirrito Funny how basically any other adult in her life could be there to make sure that doesn't happen without putting her livelihood in jeopardy.
Also funny how you completely dodged the valid question you were asked.
Why is he the only person who could possibly be there for her through this?
Also funny how you completely dodged the valid question you were asked.
Why is he the only person who could possibly be there for her through this?