Her father died 6 months ago. He had a massive stroke and laid, alone, in his condo, for 23 hours. We weren’t allowed to see him in the hospital, aside from several minutes that I insisted she be allowed to see her daddy. He responded to us and squeezed our hand, but then we were asked to leave b/c we were “creating drama”. We weren’t allowed at the funeral either for the same reason. She has handled it so well. But last night when she told me she would like to have a daddy, my heart broke. Aside from me and my 75 year old mother who creates more discord than happiness, she doesn’t have anyone to love her. I work full time and have no interest in dating b/c it will be hard to find a man who can make our lives better. But I can’t imagine what it must feel like for her.
9 year old daughter said “If you can find one, I would like to have a daddy”
- Thread starter johnerica
- Start date
bradley5201
New member
@johnerica I'm sorry but what awful people keep their 9-year-old from going to their dad's funeral???
I am so sorry for your loss and your daughter's loss.
I know that that must be heartbreaking for you to hear!
I am so sorry for your loss and your daughter's loss.
I know that that must be heartbreaking for you to hear!
@bradley5201 They also made the unilateral decision to take him off life support without asking any of his
Kids or allowed them to see him once they “pulled the plug”. I have never written these things out. Seeing the behaviors and actions of his family, written out in black and white, makes me realize just how horrible this entire situation was.
Kids or allowed them to see him once they “pulled the plug”. I have never written these things out. Seeing the behaviors and actions of his family, written out in black and white, makes me realize just how horrible this entire situation was.
bradley5201
New member
@johnerica Wow. That's freaking awful.
How do people like this exist??
God, I am so so sorry for you and your daughter!!!
If you didn't see my other comment, please hire a lawyer about the the distribution of his estate.
She's entitled to that money, There are laws in place to protect next of kin- especially when they're younger than 18.
Even if it's already been distributed, you can still call a lawyer. I guarantee you they will pick up the case!!
You could even try legal Reddit--
How do people like this exist??
God, I am so so sorry for you and your daughter!!!
If you didn't see my other comment, please hire a lawyer about the the distribution of his estate.
She's entitled to that money, There are laws in place to protect next of kin- especially when they're younger than 18.
Even if it's already been distributed, you can still call a lawyer. I guarantee you they will pick up the case!!
You could even try legal Reddit--
@bradley5201 Thank you. They also took all his money and didn’t give any of the $70k he had to any of his children.
bradley5201
New member
@johnerica Are you kidding me???????
You should hire a lawyer!!!!
I'm pretty sure there are laws that are in place to keep that from happening.
Please please call a lawyer. Especially if she's under 18 because he still technically held responsible for pain at least 50% until she hits 18. So a judge would definitely rule in your favor!!
I wish you luck!
You should hire a lawyer!!!!
I'm pretty sure there are laws that are in place to keep that from happening.
Please please call a lawyer. Especially if she's under 18 because he still technically held responsible for pain at least 50% until she hits 18. So a judge would definitely rule in your favor!!
I wish you luck!
@bradley5201 I got an attorney but he has ghosted me
bradley5201
New member
@johnerica I would def try again.
I know there's legal reddit subpages and you might be able to find some help there.
I'm not a lawyer or anything but I know that there are laws in place to protect her.
They sound like they're predatory.
I know there's legal reddit subpages and you might be able to find some help there.
I'm not a lawyer or anything but I know that there are laws in place to protect her.
They sound like they're predatory.
@johnerica Get a new, not shitty one! Or be the squeakiest wheel!
michelleadams
New member
@johnerica You should also be able to file for SSI (depending on where you are)
armorandswordwilling
New member
@johnerica I feel for her. I have a daughter too.
@johnerica Holy shit that’s a hit in the gut.
How are YOU doing?
All that info but nothing about your pain in there hun.
Like so many others you guys will live through this and find a way. Time does heal. Your daughter is old enough to comprehend what’s happened and this is a way of trying to cope with it. It’s actually a healthy sign.
No matter what this hurts like hell. I know.
But it does get easier, for both of you.
Sounds like at least now you don’t have to deal with his pleasure of a fam.
How are YOU doing?
All that info but nothing about your pain in there hun.
Like so many others you guys will live through this and find a way. Time does heal. Your daughter is old enough to comprehend what’s happened and this is a way of trying to cope with it. It’s actually a healthy sign.
No matter what this hurts like hell. I know.
But it does get easier, for both of you.
Sounds like at least now you don’t have to deal with his pleasure of a fam.
angelh0809
New member
@johnerica A new boyfriend or stepdad can mean danger and hidden abuse too. You never now whom you let in your house. Personally I wouldn't risk it.
@angelh0809 That’s exactly why I’m not even entertaining the idea, but she deserves a daddy.
hyunrunj3w
New member
@johnerica I’m so sorry that you and your daughter went through this. It sounds like you are truly putting her first and have a level headed view on what she’s requesting. She is grieving and likely doesn’t understand the complexities of adult dating, she just misses her dad.
@johnerica Aw. My daughter is too young to ask but my niece and nephew ask when they're getting an uncle. It's not that easy!
chauncywilltheologian
New member
@johnerica I'm so sorry for your and her loss. Sounds like she is grieving in an age-appropriate way. We can't protect them from it, even though I often want to too; it's better for her to feel her pain than to bottle it away.
My son will sometimes say things like that even though he has never had a father, simply doesn't have one. I find it is best not to try to "fix" the feeling but just acknowledge he's feeling it, and it's real. (Then a little bit later I remind him that he has mommy and all the other people in our family who love him so much and wanted him to be in the world so much, even before he was born).
My son will sometimes say things like that even though he has never had a father, simply doesn't have one. I find it is best not to try to "fix" the feeling but just acknowledge he's feeling it, and it's real. (Then a little bit later I remind him that he has mommy and all the other people in our family who love him so much and wanted him to be in the world so much, even before he was born).
wendyshaver
New member
@johnerica I'm a single father of a 11 yo I know how it is its hard
@johnerica Ugh, my heart broke reading this. 
I am so sorry you’re going through all of this.
Your intention to be there with him means everything. Please don’t beat yourself up about this.
It’s ok to let your daughter know that sometimes we need to heal our hearts and wait for that special person. I’m not sure what you believe in but maybe you could tell her daddy will send the right guy.
Dm me anytime.
I am so sorry you’re going through all of this. Your intention to be there with him means everything. Please don’t beat yourself up about this.
It’s ok to let your daughter know that sometimes we need to heal our hearts and wait for that special person. I’m not sure what you believe in but maybe you could tell her daddy will send the right guy.
Dm me anytime.