7 year old using the N word

[markr]

@simmeh That’s so heavy. Do you know where he’d heard it that he’d assumed that meaning?

 

[simmeh]

@markr I assume the other kids called him that when he was growing up, and he just thought it was like calling him a “dummy”. I never asked though.

 

[markr]

@simmeh That’s what I assumed too hearing the story. Very sad. I’m sorry you (and he) had this experience.

 

[simmeh]

@markr Thanks. The word’s hardly even used anymore. I kinda wish I hadn’t told him, just so he wouldn’t have had to grapple with what those people we’re actually saying to him.

 

[frankdux]

@shellydan8 I wouldn’t say my experience was similar or as heavy because I’m only Latin decent and I’m pretty white. But COD was when I first heard the word someone called me it and I thought it was also a “good” thing. And was overly excited to be called it. My mother was in the other room and heard me shouting about how excited I was to be called this word. Found out years later what it meant but was told in that moment to never say it again and just didn’t know why.

Telling the child that it isn’t a good to say will most likely put a stop to the use of the word. Context may help the kid stop saying it.

1: This is my opinion: I’d recommend to explain why bad words are “bad” Fu, Sh, God damn(if you wanna include that.) In my opinion they are not bad but vulgar and used to describe situations or when you get hurt. of course you can say someone is a sh**head but you would be calling them a poop head if you made it more “child friendly.”

2: words like Cu** bit** a**hole are used more to describe people and are/can-be more hurtful than the words above.

3: racial/religious/ethnic slurs would be at the top they are bad for one reason only and that is because it describes a collective(negatively) without regard to who the people actually are. If racial slurs were to only describe individuals without describing their ethnic religious, or racial background I don’t think they would be called racial/religious/ethnic slurs just cuss(words) and would be on grounds with fu** or cu**

I may be wrong and if my views are distorted someone please comment and I’ll edit and fix them accordingly

Edit: Grammar

Edit 2: context for after I learned of some slurs

Edit 3: word changed from slur to cuss as there can be a distinction.

 

[mattheuu]

@bktotty This is the method I use as well. I don't police swearing in my house. My daughter doesn't swear at school or in public but if she stubs her toe and wants to scream "shit" until she feels better I'm not going to reprimand her. However, we don't use hurtful words, ever. No racist, ableist, or homophobic/transphobic language is allowed. We call them sad words instead of bad words and talk about how they make others feel.

 

[txsguy2015]

@mattheuu That's a fantastic method we will try when it comes up. I was ignorant of ableist slurs as a concept so thanks for including them in your list.

 

[lightliver]

@mattheuu That was my approach as well. Instead of just 'No Swearing. Period' it was no racist, homophobic, or gendered slurs. I'd also have a lot less tolerance for regular swears aimed at someone with intent to hurt them (ie. yelling 'Sh*t because you dropped something is okay; telling your sister to 'F*ck off' is not).

 

[freelyworships]

@bktotty I think this is the answer. Kids got his young generally don’t enjoy harming each other.

“Bad words” are funny to kids, honestly. This isn’t saying “shit” when you stub your toe. I think if you explain to her that this word’s purpose is harming others, she will make the right choice to not use it in the future.

 

[tex456]

@chakra12 She learns it from somewhere.. where is that

 

[chakra12]

@tex456 I cuss often but not that word. She may get it from school or music or neighborhood kids. Not sure.

 

[riley0912]

@chakra12 She 100% gets it from school. Kids language when the adults aren’t around is just as bad or worse than we are.

 

[joejoe58]

@akbest I was around that age when I saw one scratched into a slide on the playground at school. Went home and politely asked my mother to write them all down for me and define them, because I was pretty sure it was spelled wrong. She was tickled pink.

 

[cleo721]

@joejoe58 Haha, that reminds me of trying to look up the f word in the dictionary. Merriam-Webster failed me on that day.

 

[tehama]

@chakra12 Children emulate their parents and environment. If you want your child to stop cursing, you need to be the example.

Punishment without explaining why something is wrong doesn’t work.

 

[katrina2017]

@chakra12 My friend’s 8 year old son said the N word and apparently copied a classmate who was calling a black child in their class that word. He pulled him out of school that day and fully educated him about the word and why it’s not ok. Including a trip to a local memorial remembering the victim of a lynching.

 

[alelai87]

@chakra12 When she says it people are going to assume she heard it at home. I would nip this in the bud ASAP. I would educate her on the N word and why she should never use it again. I would take it extremely seriously. If she is caught using it at school it would be a huge issue. If she uses the N word against a person of color than it’s a bullying situation. Some schools have a zero tolerance policy and she could face consequences. In addition she could unintentionally hurt someone.

 

[misterpockets]

@chakra12 Idk man, I personally gentle parent unless shit is really dire. That’s when I get my serious/play no games parenting on. This would be one of those times where I nip that shit in the bud directly. No alternative games, no exercises, no run arounds. It would be direct with a raw PG explanation of what that word means and a stance on zero tolerance for it.

 

[st77]

@misterpockets This is one of those situation that you bust out the side of you that is so fast a furious, they never knew it existed.

Dropping the N bomb isn’t a curse word. It can be devastating to all it’s used around… and is a word that can get your kid hurt. Where I grew up, your kid would be T’eed off on regularly for awhile… and yes… at 7 years old.

 

[katrina2017]

@chakra12 Your 7 year old is saying that word and you don't know where she heard it or why she is saying it? I'm hoping you have explained the origins of that word and why it is so awful.