7 year old using the N word

@metalgreymon I don’t think it’s too traumatizing. If anything, kids that age might need assistance to actually visualize the history behind that word beyond what someone is just telling them
 
@cassie928 Yeah I was kind of thinking that being immersed in the images and everything from the most egregious time periods might help show the significance

But, my son is only 2, so I don’t know exactly how much they can emotionally withstand at 7
 
@metalgreymon I mean - they’re definitely impressionable at that time but in that way, I think this could be a good place to start if the problem persists in order for her to understand the significance of her words.

I think a lot of the time people wait for too long to have important discussions with their kids because they want to protect their innocence. During that time, they’re receiving all kinds of mixed messages from peers, media, other influences. They’re already taking in information - but it might not be the right information or delivered in the right way. Thus however this kid picked up that language.
 
@cassie928 Yeah thats a really good point

Especially today when everyone has access to everything. It’s going to be damn near impossible to really shelter my son after a certain point
 
@metalgreymon I feel like that might be a mixed bag as far as the message they really receive versus its undoubtedly shocking nature. Idk if it would be a good thing at that point. I would think that that young, you could still manage to educate on the improper nature of the word based on sympathy for how it could make their dark skinned peers feel. My little girl isn't there yet but if that word is still in prevalence by the time she's old enough to have to deal with it I hope to help her see it as something that's been internalized by a culture to appropriate it from being a slur and made into something. That something only has any value to them, realistically, in a cultural sense. It adds little to no real value to anything "our people" (we're a caucasian family) can say and has potential to cause discomfort or harm for a variety of reasons. Words are just words but that one is best not employed by us. If they can get that I feel like their experiences will reinforce those concepts into more personal, detailed ideas about proper brotherhood, multiculturalism, tolerance and what those things mean.
 
@leelou Yeah I’m not sure though, it’s not like the museum is purely structured for shock. It’s definitely an educational setting.

And I remember when I was growing up learning about the holocaust around 3rd grade. So I was thinking it might be pretty close to developmental readiness.
 
@chakra12 I remember the first time I was told a joke as a kid that was an ethnic slur against me. I didn’t know it was a bad word and was so excited to go home and tell my father this new joke that someone told me about “people like us”.

I will never forget the look of horror on his face when I told him. He simply said, “they use that as a way to call you less than and stupid”. I never said it again or repeated any like flavored jokes about anyone. Hopefully your reaction to the word will be a deterrent in her saying any words like that in the future.
 
@shellydan8 My son first heard it in preschool. I was driving him and his sister home and he asked, "Daddy, what a n-word" (he used the actual word). I was so shocked I nearly stopped short. I asked him where he heard that from and he said, "Joey isn't allowed to play with me anymore because his daddy said he can't play with n-words." My little extrovert who was upset about losing his friend wanted to know what that meant so I had to explain to my kindergarten daughter and preschool son on the car ride home why that word was different than any other bad word. I ended up telling them that the n-word is a word used by racist people to dehumanize black people and put them down. I explained that racism is when you don't like someone because they are a different race and when a white person uses that word, they are saying that a black person shouldn't be treated the same as a white person.

It was an incredibly difficult conversation and not one I wanted to have with my kids being that young, but I didn't have a choice. OP doesn't have a choice either. I couldn't and can't prevent my kids from hearing that word but you can try to prevent your kid from saying that word. Talk about it and don't beat around the bush. If my 4 year old could handle that talk then a 7 year old should be able to.
 
@kingdomculture Thanks. I wish I could say that was the one and only time, but unfortunately that hasn't been the case. A few years ago my son was at a wrestling meet and overheard a dad ask his son how he lost to a n-word. My son had just finished beating that kid so he knew it was about him. We talked about it afterwards and he said he wasn't upset because if he let it bother him every single time someone used that word against him, then he'd walk around mad all the time. He's the happiest person I know and doesn't let people tear him down.
 
@garnett64 From experience, the racism that shines through in wrestling is insane. I’m so sorry your son had to go through that. I wish something white patents of white kids grasped is if black kids can experience and therefore have to learn about racism at a young age and can fully understand it, then so can your kid. Teach your kid to not repeat racist things, to not be prejudice and about black history at the same time our kids have to learn about it. They’re not too young. They’ll understand and hopefully be better for it.
 
@garnett64 It honestly blows my mind that in 2021 there are still such ignorant and hateful people. I hope their kids dont follow in their footsteps.
 
@garnett64 You’re 100% correct, and I’m so sorry your kids have had to deal with that at all much less at such a young age.

As one parent to another I’m teaching my kids to do better.
 
@garnett64 O am so sorry this keeps happening. If children are old enough to hear the word, or say the word, they are old enough to have it explained.

If BIPOC children can hear those words, white children like mine can learn to never say it, and never hang out with kids who say it. I teach my kids to not only NEVER use racist language, but to never let others saying it go unchallenged.
 
@garnett64 It’s heartbreaking. I had talked to my biracial son about racism quite a bit starting at 4 & 5 and he first heard one of his friends call someone else the n-word in 3rd grade (my kids aren’t right away identifiable as part Black) and he came home not knowing what it meant, thinking it just meant dumb. And my reaction was…to burst into tears. It brought back my memories of being called that as a 6 year old and I was so shocked to hear it come out of the mouth of someone in my house, I was sobbing. It really scared him because he knew I was upset by something he said. Then I had a more detailed talk about that word and why some Black people have reclaimed the word. I always thought I’d have some well thought out talk ready for when that happened but woo boy I was not ready.
 
@shellydan8 My dad thought that a slur against our ethnic group meant “stupid” for his entire life. It’s what he called people who cut him off in traffic. I learned what it meant when I was a teenager, and explained it to him when he used it in the car one day. The rest of the drive was the heaviest silence ever.
 
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