hagiang3396
New member
Husband and I have been married for 5 years. I’m 30, he’s 28. I was clear about wanting to have kids in a few years when we have settled down more, and have more money. The whole 9 yards. We make pretty good money now, enough to have a few bucks in savings. I’ve traded in my unreliable undergrad car for a nice, reliable mom SUV, have awesome health insurance and we have a 4 bedroom house now. I feel like we’ve had that “newly wed” thing done. We’ve traveled, moved to a new state and had established our careers.
So...what now? I’ve been itching for a baby the past 3 years but the husband wasn’t “ready”. Last week he had mentioned that we should start trying. I was fucking ecstatic, I was so happy that I cried. I started peeing on ovulation test strips and checked my temperatures, cleaned up my diet immediately. I looked at environment friendly diaper subscriptions. Car seats. Birth centers. I fucking ordered baby bonnets and looked at Montessori preschools in areas we could possibly move to in the next few years. (No, he doesn’t know that i did all this. Just the ovulation strips) I was beyond ready. And today he drops a bomb saying he takes that back, and isn’t so sure if he is ready yet anymore, and not so sure if he will be for a while. We had a huge fight.
I’m devastated. I almost feel like I just had a miscarriage. Now I’m scrounging to unfollow baby accounts on Instagram I followed this week because I cannot bare to look at them. I tossed the rest of the ovulation test strips, the BBT thermometer, and my prenatal that I’ve been taking the past 3 years that I was ready for a baby. I almost want to take leftover birth control from last year just so I can fuck up my cycle so don’t have to look at my fertile vaginal mucus when I ovulate in the next couple of days. I don’t know. I didn’t tell anyone about it, just because I don’t want anyone to know just how badly I want to have a baby. I’m so sad.
So...what now? I’ve been itching for a baby the past 3 years but the husband wasn’t “ready”. Last week he had mentioned that we should start trying. I was fucking ecstatic, I was so happy that I cried. I started peeing on ovulation test strips and checked my temperatures, cleaned up my diet immediately. I looked at environment friendly diaper subscriptions. Car seats. Birth centers. I fucking ordered baby bonnets and looked at Montessori preschools in areas we could possibly move to in the next few years. (No, he doesn’t know that i did all this. Just the ovulation strips) I was beyond ready. And today he drops a bomb saying he takes that back, and isn’t so sure if he is ready yet anymore, and not so sure if he will be for a while. We had a huge fight.
I’m devastated. I almost feel like I just had a miscarriage. Now I’m scrounging to unfollow baby accounts on Instagram I followed this week because I cannot bare to look at them. I tossed the rest of the ovulation test strips, the BBT thermometer, and my prenatal that I’ve been taking the past 3 years that I was ready for a baby. I almost want to take leftover birth control from last year just so I can fuck up my cycle so don’t have to look at my fertile vaginal mucus when I ovulate in the next couple of days. I don’t know. I didn’t tell anyone about it, just because I don’t want anyone to know just how badly I want to have a baby. I’m so sad.