2 & a half years w no baby

[kittykat239]

me (21f) & my fiancé (21m) have been together for 2 & a half years been having unprotected sex since the day we met . we’ve been trying on and off for a little over a year now I have no idea what it’s taking us so long to conceive. I had an transvaginal ultrasound last year and I have no cysts and my periods are fairly normal . I’ve been procrastinating getting my fiancé a semen analysis because it’s pretty expensive , $200?? since we’re on Medicaid and that doesn’t cover fertility related issues. My fiancé has ulcerative colitis and when I go with him to some of his appointments and ask his doctors could his disease decrease his sperm count they all say no. His mom says try the turkey baster method but literally it won’t help , oh and the legs up method , nothing . we’ve tried preseed lube , mucinex , coq10 literally every “ hack “ . I’m fairly healthy and it’s so unfair most of the people my age and even younger can pop out babies so easily . Hell my mom had my older sister when she was 22 & my grandma had my mom when she was 16 , my sister had my nephews when she was 23 and 24. I just don’t know where to go from here ..

 

[believeinjc1]

@kittykat239 I’d say get his sperm tested. Male factor is the cause for 50% of known causes of infertility (33% unknown or combined, 33% female, 33% male). Also try BBT to actually confirm ovulation. Quit all kinds of smoking. Good luck!

 

[mattforjesus2014]

@kittykat239 Do you know when you ovulate? Have you been tracking your LH and BBT? Getting pregnant isn't just having unprotected sex, it's about the timing of it. And everything else falling into place. f you're not tracking anything and you are serious about wanting a child, that would be the place to start. If after a year of seriously TTC and tracking, it could be time to speak with a doctor.

 

[kittykat239]

@mattforjesus2014 yes in the past I tracked for like 6 months w pre mom ovulation strips , and tried to track again like 3 months ago and nothing came out of it so i utimately stopped

 

[mattforjesus2014]

@kittykat239 Try BBT and the LH strips together for several months and see if that works for you. Lots of other things need to fall into place but at least you can pinpoint your ovulation and go from there.

 

[ekelly16]

@mattforjesus2014 Silly question, but what exactly should I be tracking? My ovulation? I’m on my second round of clomid and I’m using ovulation testers and every single one of them still say I’m not ovulating.

 

[mattforjesus2014]

@ekelly16 You will want to test your LH levels (luteinizing hormone) and basil body temperature (BBT) to help pinpoint when ovulation is happening. You could look at other things like your cervical mucus (CM) as well. Once you find out when ovulation happens, you have your window. Not everyone ovulates at the same time every month and some people have months where they don't ovulate at all so tracking will help you. There are lots of apps you can upload this information and after a few months you may notice some patterns which also helps you out. Even if you get all that right, fertilization and implantation also need to happen, which may not happen every time as well. It's definitely not as easy to get pregnant as "they" make it seem.

 

[hrlcoach]

@kittykat239 As someone whose family conceived way earlier than I was able to, you can’t compare yourself to them. My mom was 20, my sister was 18, both grandmothers were 20, and it goes even farther back. I was self conscious about it for a while. My partner and I had been together since we were 18 and we didn’t plan on trying until after we were married (we agreed 26). But when we started to struggle to get pregnant, the women in my family were not very supportive. They simply didn’t understand because they had no issues. It was kind of isolating.

My best advice would be to not compare yourself to anyone else. You are on your own schedule and try to enjoy this time of your life with your fiancé. Every pregnancy is a miracle, despite how easy others make it seem. You will have the family and life you want, but in the meantime enjoy yourself and treat yourself.

 

[faithfairy777]

@kittykat239 I’m not here to shame you about your age. I started my ttc journey at 25, and I still don’t have a baby at 28.
However I do want to point out a few things to think about. You state that you don’t want to pay $200 for semen analysis when people with better insurance get it for free. That’s simply not true. I was on Medicaid for all of my life before I married my husband and had to switch to his. Medicaid is the best insurance, no monthly payment, visits were covered, only elective procedures I needed to pay out for. I didn’t even get a bill for several ER visits. Finding doctors that took my insurance was even easy. Now I’m on supposedly one of the “best insurances in the state” all of my family is jealous of how much my insurance covers.

I pay $500 a month for insurance, insurance doesn’t pay for anything until a $3000 deductible is reached (per person). For my HSG, MC ultrasounds, bloodwork, SA. I’ve spent $11000 this year just trying to get pregnant.

Since you’re engaged, when you get married you may no longer qualify for Medicaid.

 

[hrlcoach]

@faithfairy777 Idk if Medicaid would cover a semen analysis though, it’s considered elective

 

[servantofyahshua]

@hrlcoach The point she is making is the $200 semen analysis is free after you pay $500 a month for the insurance. So the semen analysis cost at least $500. She’s just putting it in perspective for OP.

 

[hrlcoach]

@servantofyahshua But she says insurance doesn’t pay for anything until you reach the deductible. $500 a month isn’t the deductible, that’s just the cost of insurance.

 

[servantofyahshua]

@hrlcoach Right. The point is $200 out of pocket is cheaper.

 

[jennymarie]

@kittykat239 Is your fiance on sulfasalazine for his ulcerative colitis by any chance? This medication reduces sperm count and is used frequently in those types of diseases. Just a thought!

 

[kittykat239]

@jennymarie No he was on entyvio for a little while then he got on rinvoq now he’s on no medications currently

 

[melisa]

@kittykat239 Hi! I'm so sorry this is happening to you guys. I know you mention that you don't have fertility benefits. There are some jobs that have fertility benefits including IVF coverage (if needed). I heard Starbucks, target, tractor supplies, Lowe's, and Amazon. Maybe you could look into it so you and your fiancé can get a semen analysis started and possibility other fertility assistance from a RE.

 

[oxfords501]

@kittykat239 If you've been trying for more than a year it's probably time you both had a work up. Make an appointment.

 

[photographicmemories]

@oxfords501 Medicaid will pay for all of her testing as well in regards to testing her hormones, thyroid, etc.

 

[eyerobot]

@kittykat239 Definitely get your partner a semen analysis it’s worth it for peace of mind, also an HSG test to check your tubes , insurance covered mine and I have no fertility benefits it’s how the Dr can word it. Luckily you’re young. I’m 25 and have been trying since I was 23 w no pregnancy. It sucks

 

[angeloflight316]

@kittykat239 i aint gonna sit here and try and tell you ur too young or none of that shit, you want what you want, so fucking be it, parent hood is a beautiful thing. i suggest saving up that $200 and getting that semen analysis for ur man, male infertility is more common than many think. also, do you guys smoke weed/ drink or drug or anything like that? that can negatively affect fertility