2.5 weeks away from Maternity Leave, after which I will not be returning to the workforce. How did you turn your work brain off?

S

summer63

New member
I WFH and have for a few years. I’m not on a 8-5, but more like “be available 8-5, but get stuff done even if it means responding to emails at 8pm”

As I’m trying to wind down and get ready for leave, I find I’m still in the habit of checking emails every evening and first thing when I wake up in the morning. Sometimes even on my days off, I just have the habit of opening work stuff. I may even be a bit of a workaholic, cause I’ll find myself voluntarily responding to non-urgent stuff at all hours while I’m watching tv or something - just cause I’m bored. How did you turn your work brain off and transition into SAHP mode?
 
@summer63 I’m almost 8 months into being a SAHM and the first 6-10 weeks in so in the trenches of newborn-hood that you don’t even think about missing work. You’re barely sleeping and have a little human that depends on you 24/7 for everything. Your mindset shifts from ‘let me just reply to this email’ to ‘when was the last time I ate’ at 8pm.
 
@summer63 I am not a down time person. I got laid off 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. I worked p/t, and planned on finding a full time, but it didn't pan out. So I stayed home. I'm a busy bee, so I'm always cleaning, creating something, reading, walking, tending to pets. So I am still the same but the things I spend time on now are more meaningful than paid work ever was. That being said I worked HR, didn't love my job by any means.
 
@captainrogers20 This is 100% me. I’m 32w today and if l’m not working, I’m either cleaning or working on a house project or making some elaborate dinner that should taste way better than it does considering how much time I invested in it. LOL. I think the hard part for me is that I’m starting to get a little tired, so when I sit down and put my feet up in the evening, I get bored because I want to be doing something productive but I physically can’t, so I resort to working. I’ll be on leave at 35 weeks and I think those first few weeks will be the hardest until baby comes. It sounds like once he’s here, it’ll be easier to disconnect.

And that’s funny. I’m HR-adjacent (benefits broker).
 
@summer63 Can you find some hobbies that are mentally but not physically stimulating? Like crossword puzzles or even something like knitting that could be producing something for your babe?

Agreed with other commenters though that once baby arrives all your physical and mental energy will be spoken for!
 
@summer63 I just left my job and started homemaker life early at 31 weeks pregnant last week. The first few days it felt weird not having and checking firm email and Teams on my phone, seeing what my coworkers are up to etc., but I’ve adjusted pretty quickly. When the baby is born that will be a whole new thing to focus on!
 
@summer63 My whole brain pretty much fried and turned off the moment I was sent home from the hospital. I was so foggy and barely able to keep persoanl care, household stuff, or really anything in order and fully functioning for like....months. The "work brain" just straight up never had a chance against that level of disfunction and being hyperfocused on caring for baby on like zero sleep for months on end.

My oldest is now 5, my youngest is 18m, and I just resently decided to take some online classes as a "slow gear up" to returning to grad school and eventually going back to work in a all new carreer path. Even thinking about going back to what I did before with the deficit of 6 years minimum out of work and all my work friends now in much high positions was an immediate and viseral "absolutly not"
 
@summer63 It’s been six years for me and I still check and clear my emails several times a day as if they aren’t all just junk mail from Madewell or something. I’m not sure if I’ll ever fully deprogram
 
@summer63 I unintentionally did this when I was hospitalized at 26 weeks pregnant, risk of preterm labor. Since it appeared the baby could come at any moment I rapid fire dotted all my Is and crossed my Ts. I’m an event planner so I made a massive master list of every single outstanding task, status, next steps, etc. and as soon as I documented something and assigned it to someone else, I basically considered it off my plate unless there were questions. Anytime I thought of anything world related, I’d dig in my brain and think.. why am I thinking about this, is there anything about this work related thing that only lives inside my brain? I did a pretty decent job by EOD when I planned to leave, but a handful of super random tasks remained that I did end up pinging my team about after the fact.

Also helped that my boss changed my password so she could monitor my inbox, so I lost access! That ended up being a big load off my shoulders.

I didn’t realize then I wouldn’t be returning to the workforce, but I think the nature of my job and being the only one doing my job implied that I couldn’t leave any stone unturned.

I only got positive feedback from my team and they’ve killed it so far while I’ve been out! Haven’t quit yet, but that’s the plan :)

Good luck!
 
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